moments (counted in infinity) make our growth
there is gold painting your shattered veins
because even in the darkest of nights stars still linger
expanding in your bloodstream
filling you to the brim
with light so fragile, so tender
mmm... until it slowly ( yes, so slowly ) till it reaches the sides
of your contrasting soul
it’s in your cells, child
( you know you’re home )
swallow those stars, threat them in rhythm
devour it like a low humming ( it melts, it’s sticky )
so warm, that it drips in sunsets
it reaches your skin . bronze freckles counted in your heartbeats
silver in moonlit longings
and gold orbs on the edge of the sun
how can you resist it ( feel the calm ) baby, embrace it
a long forgotten memory
of warm skin tasting of light and honey
blooming in your mind
I know that you feel guilty
I know you feel ashamed
I know you feel the demise;
has only you to blame.
I know you would've changed it
I know you would've tried
I know you couldn't go on,
with all the pain you felt inside.
I know you wanted forgiveness
I know you wanted to call
I know you wanted to take back
all the times you dropped the ball.
I know you always loved me
I know you never lost the hope
I know you'll live forever in my heart;
Dad, I wanted you to know.
i love you
i wanted to tell you
that night we spent in your dads pick up
with the stars above us and dew drops below
i traced the words along the skin between your wrist and elbow
hoping you couldn’t read brail
earlier that morning
we had sat and soaked in the sun underneath the delicate green leaves of the woods
you brought berries and a blanket and i brought cherries
you told me your favorite song and taught me the words and then we both cried
it reminded you of your mom
she left a while back
you still missed her after six years
she never gave a reason why
i didn’t know what to do so i grabbed your hand and pressed my lips against your knuckles
and kissed away the tears on your cheek
they were salty
but your lips were sweet
they tasted like raspberries
you told me the skin on my neck tasted like strawberries
and you left marks like cherries
we got back in your dads pick up and drove till the sun began to slip
then we parked in a field of tall grass and watched it all fade to black
I want you to know
In our Social Emotional Learning class, we went around in a circle to say our insecurities in the form of "I want you to know." And so it began:
I want you to know that I never feel good enough.
I want you to know that I never want to be called dumb again because of my learning accomadation.
I want you to know that I never feel good about my body, that I am always too fat or too skinny.
I want you to know that for a year I suffered with anxiety, but I couldn't get help because my mom doesn't believe in mental illness.
I want you to know that ever since I was in elementary school, I told myself that I was bisexual, that I would end up marrying a man when I grew up so my mom would be happy. For all that time, I was lying to myself.
I want you to know that I never want to hear people's intelligence being determined by their academic excellence.
I want you to know that my brother has always been judged because of his autism, but he is no lesser than the rest of us.
I want you to know that I feel like no matter how hard I try and work, I will never reach my parents' expectations.
I want you to know that I never want to hear being called a "fat elephant."
I want you to know that sometimes I cry myself to sleep.
And we all stood there, crying and hugging.
The buzz of cidades brings a sound to the summer’s heat. The late afternoon heat shines down on where you lay on the hardwood floor next to me. My legs draped softly over your back as I stare up at the ceiling. Your elbows propped under you as you turn the page of your book. Thin beads of sweat collect themselves at the nape of my neck as I contemplate the comfortable stillness.
“I love you.”
The warmth in the air is reflected in your eyes as you glance away from your book to meet mine. The ghost of a smile crosses your face as you open it to say a simple, “alright.”
You roll your head away from me and flip another page. My gaze lingers on you for one moment longer before returning to the ceiling above us.
“...I just wanted you to know.”
I wanted you to know that I grew a third elbow
And my big toe fell off and was eaten by a bird
This really got to be some new kind of low
My vision’s become all spotty and blurred
Maybe tomorrow I’ll finally go see the doc
But first I wanted to share all this with you
For our daily surgery and ailment talk
Now I’m off to check on Ed - he’s got the flu.
Ginger’s aren’t fair
I wonder how your doing
Did you ever get out of that town
Or did you decide to stay just to burn it down ?
I wonder if your hands still burn
From pulling others out of flames
Not realizing you were the one
Who needed to be saved
I wonder if you still think of me
When your lost in your thoughts
Or when you’ve had to many shots
I wanted you to know
That you still cross my mind
though I’ve tried to forget you that I swear
You will always be an unmended tear.
I want you to know
I want you to know that I'm not ignoring you. I'm not giving you the silent treatment. I'm not at a loss for words most of the time. I forget. I get trapped in my own world. Sometimes all I want to do is escape this world I created. I am screaming to get out but I'm stuck.
I'm not lazy. People think I am. Truth is, I enjoy my job. To a certain degree, I enjoy housework. I want to work. But my mind keeps pushing it to my short term memory; keeps pushing me into this world. Sometimes I cannot escape.
This world is fun, normally. I play. Do what makes me happy. See lots of people. But there are times, those times I can't escape, I become sad, helpless.
People don't like me. I cannot pay attention to more than one thing at a time, and yet, I notice all things at all times. People yell and get mad. They tell me I am lazy. They say I will not be great.
Listen, I want you to know I have ADHD. It is hard for me. I work very hard to do little things. People do not know most of the time. But I want us to be friends. So, if you text, or call, I'm not ignoring you. I merely got stuck in my world.