I miss being a child.

I miss not worrying about grades

I miss not worrying about school

I miss not worrying about death

I miss not worrying about life

I miss not worrying about dying alone

I miss not worrying about disease

I miss not worrying about money

I miss not worrying about war

I miss not worrying about my fears taking over me

I miss not worrying about the end of the world

I miss being care-free

I miss being innocent

I miss being a child

i miss being a kid

when my biggest worry was memorizing multiplication

now everything is algebra and calculus

it’s finding the missing part of the equation

because having the answer doesn’t mean anything if

you don’t know how you got it

growing up is learning that one plus one

doesn’t always equal two

it’s coming to the realization that one plus one can

sometimes leave you with less than half

and you’re forced to

find other things to make you whole again

growing up is dreading change

cause somehow you’re the only one stuck in place

observing and recording

how friends slowly become strangers

calculating how long til the next one does the same

i really

miss being a kid

because back then,

everything added and subtracted

like it was supposed to.

i miss being a child

free and wild.

life was an adventure

and things were

what you wanted to see

or what you wanted them to be

anything was possible

and nothing was dull

i miss being a child

free and wild.

i miss being me

full of glee.

I miss being a child,

I miss laying in a gutter half way dead

being force fed

every single lie in the book

till i got some "act right."

I miss not having a voice

not having a choice

being beat black and blue

until i got a clue

of what "Act right" was.

I miss it.

My golden years of creativity

and productivity

seeming some what empty and iffy to me

because,

i didnt have the same childhood as you.

But boy, oh boy

do i miss it.

Ha

I miss the carefree days and the pigtails. I miss my hair being pulled when my mom braided my hair. I miss the smell of pizza in the oven and the way everything looked so big. I miss the endless play dates that lasted for hours on end.

I miss the way the world looked so bright. I miss fearing that the worst thing in the world was 'where's mommy' or eating vegetables or a trip to the doctor.

I miss the innocent days.

I miss the unscarred wrists.

I miss the warm air.

I miss the close friends.

If you told the child me that depression and pain would rule my mind, the only question my innocent mind would ask is; "What's that mean?"

I miss those days of being a child.

Because, I could pretent that nothing bad was happening outside for a little bit longer.

Oh yes, how I really miss being a child

Those days when my imagination ran wild

Someone else got to pay the bills

I could stay up and have cheap thrills

In my mind this pirate ruled the seven seas

Or I visited strange worlds as I pleased

No baggage, no  marriage problems here, no sir

As a lawman I’d goad my steed with a spur

I’d ride off to round up those outlaw brothers

Who needs a trial if I had my druthers?

School was the only limit on my daily fun

Manageable when all was said and done

Remembering those distant days makes me smile

Such memories, stay and comfort me for awhile  

I miss being a child

I miss the days where I could come home, and not have to cry.

I miss the innocent and carefree days,

When not knowing was better.

I miss the magical lands of imagination,

when I played in my room.

Now gone,

Covered by the shadows and fears of another day.

I miss the feeling of not being alone,

So much grief,

and anger,

and sorrows fill my mind, threatening to spill.

I want it back so much.

Masks start to crack if you aren't careful.

I wish I could go back and tell myself,

"Enjoy this,"

Because I didn't enjoy it enough.

I wish,

I could go back and tell myself,

"It's going to get worse,"

"So prepare yourself."

Because I wasn't ready.

But I can't.

And now I lie down,

Night after night.

Wishing.

Hoping for something that'll never happen.

I miss being a child.

I miss being a child.

Little Me knew how to read for hours and hours on end because she still (shockingly) had an attention span. She'd shoot through novels and their prequels and sequels before mom could buy her new ones. She knew our local Barnes and Noble like the back of her hand. She wrote the first few chapters of multiple novels. If I still had those Word documents, I'm sure I'd miss Little Me even more.

Little Me knew how to get what she wanted. She wrote up a contract for our first family dog, promising to feed and water and walk it. She made a spreadsheet, to calculate exactly what chores she would have to do, and how long she'd have to do them, to earn enough allowance to get a pet rat with all the supplies for it. She took karate for years because she wanted to know how to fight.

(the rat's name was Skeeter, and I still remember her as the best pet I've ever had)

Little Me was a good sister. She knew how to make her sibling laugh. She knew how to make them feel better and how to bond with their friends without being in the way. She knew how to forgive when some very classic sibling-fights went on, as they do.

It's nice to remember how awesome Little Me was. I miss being a child.

Born into the world, each enjoying his own life, discovering the black box in his head...is this bliss?

The important thing is to surpass your limit line. Shall we go? Take your step, and outdo yourself today!

But what should we do with our days? Trying to live flawlessly is a big no-no.

Stop! Observe thoroughly the flow of the world! Ignore everything else, and here we go!

If I try to suppress my heart, which is burning hot about things that are unobtainable or constrained,

how am I different from those adults, whom I have come to despise and will never forgive for their constant attempt to pin me down blindly without even understanding why?

No matter what I do, it'll probably forever remain a pipe dream that will never come true,

but the fire burning in my heart cannot be doused by anyone.

Even if the black rain falling from the sky drenches me completely and doesn't stop,

I will never allow the fire in my heart to be extinguished. That is my "pride".

It started pouring, as predicted. A lot more buddies gathered around than I had expected.

While talking about one another's days and futures, we became impassioned and started a fistfight.

Thinking back about how we were also fist-fighting the same way

back when we were only 15, as a means to quell our anxiety and uneasiness,

you laughed and said, "You haven't changed a bit..." So I ended up bursting into laughter as well.

If we don't stubbornly stand our ground like this, even the flow of time will become a scary thing.

The only true opponent whom I should hit is really my prideful self.

But still, I don't want to lose right now. I have "pride" not to lose to myself.

Stop! Observe thoroughly the flow of the world! Ignore everything else, and here we go!

Stop! Observe thoroughly the flow of the world! Ignore everything else, and here we go!

No matter what I do, when I'm alone at night, I become even unable to understand myself.

When you're with me, and we try to understand each other, then I'll be able to become stronger.

I don't care how things turn out, and I don't care if I'll look uncool,

I will desperately try to change my future.

Even If I'm told that my destiny is immutable no matter what I do,

I myself can still change, and I will prove to you that I can change myself.

This is, that's right, "pride", each in its own place...

Don't perish yet, the fire in my heart.

I don't want to forget yet, the heat in my chest.

Don't perish yet, the fire in my heart.

I can still keep going, so here I go!

I miss being a child

When my fear was the dark

When tomorrow wasn't a question

I miss being a child

When school was fun

When the weekends were endless

I miss being a child

When food was a given

When money was for Monoply

I miss being a child

When stress was choosing a crayon

When work was cleaning toys

I miss being a child

When everything was simple

When everything was easy