i'm not her

the one i'm supposed to be

bold in the face of a welcomed crowd

i want nothing less

but no one else can see

me roar when it's all in my head

the cravings are real

to be heard i have the words

i need to share

the colours i want to bare

yet here i am in silence

proving the stars wrong

day into night again and again

The call of the mountaintop

Of gold and power

I will take destiny by the horns

A slave to the planet of fucking chaos

I can survive anything

A fish-goat, scapegoat, use

Me as an excuse to

explain away your evil deeds.

My shimmering blue lies cover

Oceans of pain from your

Prying eyes, I’m

Sorry.

I’m sorry.

For what?

For what, for everything...

For everything.

For everything I’ve done.

Guilt weighs more than my body,

What is a body?

It’s just a shed to house

the tools of my mind.

I'm an emotional mess

with starry eye gaze.

My head full of ideas

quiet down by so-called friends.

I'm a fantasy and a nightmare

all rolled into one.

If I put my work in a week:

Mondays are depression,

Tuesdays are fatigue,

Wednesdays are fighting days,

Thursdays are dreams,

Fridays are slumber walks,

Saturdays are Nirvana with eyes wide open,

Sunday are screams.

No matter the second, the day, or the year,

I face every Sun and Moon with an optimistic mood,

and a teary smile.

I carry my hopes in my heart,

my strength in my fists,

a silver spoon tongue,

and all my wits

as I face the world that told me I would only ever breath water.

I'm a frustrating person.

A lover of war under the God of Mars.

I'm Assertive, Refreshing, Independent, Energetic, and Sexy (I'm not sure about that?).

I am Loyal, Passionate, Smart and Ambitious.

I work hard and play hard.

I can be implusive and short temper,

But I am courageous and determined for any task.

I am a fiery red spirit.

Welding a forged fist of iron, and can be a leader of many.

I am an easy going person and enjoy the company of others,

There will be times I may not listen or slow down for others.

However I will learn the ways of doing, being and seeing.

I will achieve that goal I've set for myself, and will not care for what others think about me.

You my have trouble keeping up with me, but when you do I'll be a freind for life.

I can be Competitive to others in a contest.

But I am a Diamond in the Rough.

The swishing of a damsel's dress

As she dances across the starlit sky

Embraced by the midnight space

Perfectly calculated steps

Repeating counts in her head

To maintain the universe's rhythm

She aims for perfection

A rocket bound for a one-way trip

For we all know perfection to be impossible

But tell her that, and she won't listen

Skeptical of your words

Without proof to appeal to her intelligence

For she is a scholar in her heart

Still, she looks at you with loving eyes

Sensitive and understanding

Drawing you in with her magnetic resonance

The desire to help overflowing

So much so, she herself is slowly drowning

In a sea of thought-out ambitions

Exhausting herself with overloaded work

But still she ploughs on in her dance

Determined to make the perfect finale

And leave the world speechless