Advice for the unmarried (who want to marry)

Do not marry

to fill a hole;

you must be complete 

in yourself

to have someone

worth sharing

in a relationship.

Do not marry

thinking you can change

behaviors

you do not like

preferences 

that differ from your own -

like should we have children 

or not.

Communicate

before you say I do -

early and often.

Do not marry

to find happiness,

for the minute 

there are bad days -

and there will be

bad days -

you may be inclined

to discard something

beautiful.

Do not seek

or expect

perfection;

no one 

and no relationship

is perfect.

It’s not easy

but most things 

worth having

and holding

require effort.

Be sure you

want forever 

when you decide 

to marry

and then

do the work.

If you have never 

argued with 

your significant other

don’t get married 

until you do;

being able to listen

and compromise

are important 

in a healthy

relationship.

Learn to do that 

before you 

walk down the aisle.

Don’t assume 

your significant other

can read your mind

and knows that s/he

should know that

a, b, c bother you

or that s/he 

should do x, y z

without having to be told.

Just tell him/her.

Much healthier 

for you and your 

relationship.

Don’t go to bed 

angry

even if you

have to stay up 

all night.

Don’t bring up

past problems

in current disagreements - 

play fair

don’t hold grudges.

Don’t allow

your “I’s”

to get lost in the “we.”

You will stand 

more strongly 

together 

if you can each 

stand alone.

Say I love you 

every day

multiple times a day.

Show your love

every day

in some way.

It’s easy 

to get lost

in the drudgery 

of daily life,

work and family

responsibilities:

a hug 

or holding hands

is a

simple reminder

that you

are facing 

life’s challenges 

together.

Don’t lose

sight of 

each other

and why 

you saw

forever

in each other’s eyes

once upon 

a time

and then

you may

have a chance

at 

happily

ever

after.