I’d be slightly awestruck but...

Being as I’m from the future,

I’d fast recoup my sensibilities.

Then...

I’d “cleverly” preempt his next sentence

And act like I’m Nostradamus,

Because,

If you can’t be naturally smart;

Then why not just pretend -

Obviously using a compendium,

The one labelled

“The Complete Works of Shakespeare - unabridged”.

Because hopefully,

I’d remember to bring it

(Along with my keys, purse and phone - the latter evidently for taking snapshots of the guy BECAUSE HE IS SHAKESPEARE AFTER ALL)

Then before zipping back to my own time,

I’d write his FIRST autobiography and copyright it.

Just so wouldn’t have to worry about my family.

And also because I just told you;

I’m pretending to be clever

(And I’d be a legend)

So when people asked what I do for a living I could say

“Oh you know, nothing much. I only wrote the first book about the life and time of Billy Shakes”

Billy Shakes is clearly his tag name!

I mean is it not apparent that quilling was the new graffiti back then?

Besides, you can do ANYTHING when there’s nobody to knock any sense into you.

That said I could tell him about my new invention,

The tablet,

The one made of metals and plastic.

Or the new horseless carriage I created forget Ford.

And how I manage to maintain world peace in such volatile times.

Question is would he believe one person could do all that.

It’s quite possible as one person penned all those plays and odes.

Either way I’d make the most of it!

You have absolutely no idea the mess you’ve got us scholars into.

Use pronouns, man.

I wrote my dissertation on your bisexuality.

Yes, sir.

Secrets, secrets are no fun unless you share them with everyone!

It’s all there in your oh so corny sonnets.

How did you loathe the poor, dark lady so bad?

It’s because she didn’t look like the fair youth, isn’t it?

If only you had seen us bookworms coming at each other...

’of course they had sex, no they didn’t,

he had a wife, yes but all of those phallic references...’

The greatest writer of all times?

Gay? Bisexual?

No fucking way.

A minute

By any other name

Is just as deliberate

Could you give me it

To match your witty rhetoric?

Will you please, my dear

Mr. Wonderful Shakespeare?

"To be or not to be that is the question"

Answer it and learn a lesson?

No.

I won't let myself be mamed by an animal still as strange

as the actor that came out of left stage

The Globe is where the preforming actors go.

Would these actors be anyone I know?

No, Tom Cruise wasn't born til 1963.

1963? Isn't that the year people began to notice your poetry?

Hardly! Your prose is poorly put.

At least my words stand on its own, my professor said you followed Spenser most everywhere ya went, you must have been hella bent to get a pen that wasn't bent to his ear, poor dear!

Poor dear? Why should I shed a tear?

So you can leer at my sonnets? I forgot you haven't the brain. That's a real shame.

Haven't a brain? Your words put your family to shame! They had to hide books in the walls to seal your religion from showing at all. Catholics don't get along with the Queen! If they ever found out, you can bet heads would fall. From being chopped off in the village hall.

That fact is mere speculation.

More like Flautation! It's a phony piece of baloney that people say you wrote the lyric stick a noodle in your hat and call it macaroni.

....I never wrote that.

...oh.

If I met Shakespeare and had to keep up with his witty remarks the answer is I won't. It would be like Goku v.s Frieza on Namek again in Dragon Ball Z (without Super Saiyan). I would try and get overwhelmed, then be impressed afterwards, proceed to "notice" the gap despite my efforts lol.

Shakespeare’s witty repertoire

Shakespeare: How art thou?

My reply: Quite frankly sir, I am a mess. This position I am in, I am not sure how to proceed.

Shakespeare: Doth not fear beest thy own true self. All the worlds a stage.

My reply: Thankeeth thee sir.

Shakespeare: To be or not be that is the question.

My reply: Honesty is the best policy sir as you yourself have said.

Shakespeare: My dear. There are more things in heaven and earth.

My reply: Indeed sir. What doth ye desire?

Shakespeare: The lady doth protest too much.

My reply: I must bid you adieu.

Shakespeare: Parting is such sweet sorrow!

That, is “Not” the question.

The question is:

1. Why, did you “Never” reveal the reason via the rival of two prominent families, in your timeless, forbidden, love story, Romeo and Juliet?

2. Why wasn’t Juliet, Romeo’s first love?

“Please do not take offense Sir, I loved the story. I am simply wondering, why?”

I would then quietly listen.

I would watch and wonder if he would be truthful as to how he obtained the original poem.

No matter what he said, I would just nod my head.

After all, he is Shakespeare!

”Forever Timeless”

(Honestly, I would not even try to keep up with his wit, out of respect.)

If bold enough, I may recommend he read, Edgar Allen Poe. In his spear time, of course!

Benz 7/14/18

How can such a great and romantic mind such as yours bring into the world a great great but not so great offspring such as my ex.

Last name of her/their mother was Shakespeare till she married and took another last name of Johnson.

First name Kimberley.

Middle Samantha.

Entirely asexual,

Sounds like something you would come up with -

An irony so strong as to make me fall for someone so weak.

At times when love should prove real and boundless,

Your great great not so great offspring proved to be selfish, loveless and cruel as can be.

Using words of pain and disdain that will live in infamy and buried deep in my memory to taunt and to haunt me.

Making me questioning of my own sanity.

Making me doubt everything.

Did Michael really rape me or did I actually imagine the whole thing??

Gaslighting.

Making me wonder, did she ever really love me?

Is she as crazy as she seems to be in this time when she should be there for me?

Instead of words of sympathy, any sign of empathy....I meet harassment, outright lies, and denial of the strongest entity.

My ex, her/their/whatever name to be Kimberley.

A.k.a. the one who would break me.

Split me into a million pieces with words like: "you are the selfish one", "your actions are impulsive", "can't believe you're abandoning me", "stop playing the victim already", "You have a massive ego and savior complex and are just satisfying those, playing the victim and the martyr and getting to feel like a savior", worst "there's nothing you can do for your father...so why move? You're a coward. Call me."

Fuck to the you to the forever to the Kimberley Samantha Johnson for hurting me like noone else ever has or ever will.

The only one to use my sexuality against me to purposefully hurt me, to never give me an apology and to repeat the same thing and laugh at me.

My only regret is introducing the ex to my only father.

Many mistakes but choosing to leave the abuse will never be one of them.

Fuck you Kimberley.