Did the priest really just say that?
“Bless me father for I have sinned
It has been 6 weeks since my last confession.”
“Ahhh, It is good to see you again Patrick Murphy
I am pleased to know you have come to repent......
Since God is a loving God and I as his son must be honest
I know why you are here again. The sin of gluttony.
I could smell that Italian hoagie you just devoured before you even entered the church.”
Priest~ (Sighs) Okay! Let’s get this over with quickly. Shall we?
Maria~ (in confusion) I haven’t even began my confession yet_
Priest~ I’m sure I have heard it before. Go in peace. And try not to commit the sin, again.
Maria~ (Gasps) But...
Maria steps out of the booth, and shakes her head.
Priest draws the curtain. Takes a quick glance around the cathedral.
Priest~ Finally. She’s gone. Now I can get back to watching the show. (Squeals) Come on Barry, Run! You’re the fastest man alive. Yeah! (Claps his hands).
"Turns out by the time I stabbed Murphy you had already poisoned him, so I was let off with a warning."
"You're supposed to be the holy one, padre! What about Thou shalt not kill?"
"Technically speaking, I didn't. You did."
"But I'm safe because of the seal of confessional, right? You can't divulge anything I said while I was in here."
"Nary a word shall pass these lips, you may rest assured."
"Whew, that's a relief."
"You may, however, wish to take a moment to consult with the police sergeant standing outside with his ear pressed against the door."
Graffitti on the Walls of the Church
Forgive me Lord, but I hate my job.
I mean, I bumped and grinded and ate a few asses in my days but these little horny fuckers are disgusting.
I think I need a vacation.
A mother confessed to leaving her child in random places on several occasions just to film people’s reactions.
Today, a three yer old came in and shat on the seat thinking it was a bathroom. When I told him not to do that, he said God really shouldn’t watch everything we do.
I think I’m gonna quit. I’ll see you at the bar tonight, Lord.
Entering the darkened church from July’s sunshine splendor outside, my eyes were useless. Weary from travel, out of practice in Catholicism, I made my way toward darkened cubical shapes at the chapel’s side.
Sitting, I heard a voice come through the wall.
“Is someone there?”
“Yes,” I croaked back, lifting my water bottle to wet my throat.
“Forgive me father, I have sinned,” the voice commenced while I drank, “I have killed again since my last confession.”
My eyes wide, heart racing, water spilling, I yelled, “Wrong side!” as I ripped aside the curtain and dashed out the cathedral door.
Is it true child?
Karshu: Father, i have sinned
Priest: how, child?
Karshu: i have read so many books
Priest: was it porn?
Karshu: no, it was mills and boons, father!
Priest: did you meet a tycoon?
Karshu: (sobbing) oh, yes, father
Priest: then did you only kiss?
Karshu: (laughing) oh father, i was his mistress!
Priest: it is a sin child!
Karshu(hysterical) iam bearing his child, father
Priest: oh, child, we'll have a christening!
Karshu: How can i forgive him, father?
Priest, say Amen, child!
now i ra amble about
mowing the lawn
priest in the screen consoles me says
wasnt in the faith the faith no path but it’s okay
says and his face haggard and his mouth wide and dry lips, i feel the way his skin would shhhhhhkkkkk gaunt against mine
remember kneeling and mention it and he says
you know i
did some bad things to my kids
didnt teach them how to love
wasn’t in the faith no faith but
No matter what you have completed, nor accomplishments. No matter how many friends you make nor how many people love you. No matter how much right you have done nor deeds you have completed. You have made mistakes. You have failed. You have broken someone's heart.
We are all the same. For us to judge someone for their faults; think twice.
Not one drop of rain can create a garden. It takes care, committment, understanding, patience, deterimination and replenishing encouragement of growth.
We can only blossom if we encourage each other to reach for sunlight.