the reasons why I know you care

you try to put in denial

but I know the truth

I have been there

I have seen it

experience it for myself

and if you want to put in a box

marked “never happened”

then by all means

be my guest

but as much as you think you can forget it

my memories are quite strong

my senses always well build

the things I hear

the smells I breathe it

how I remember your tender touch

it’s all in me

I can’t forget

and neither can you

no matter how much you tell yourself otherwise

I can’t be erased from your life

I am imprinted on your brain

I have left footprints on the edge of your moon

my light is not as strong as it was for you

in the beginning of it all

but the lighthouse still stands

it casts a shadow on the sea

even if you can no longer see it

that way I can

don’t make me a blur

on your skyline,

don’t cover me with fog

hoping I will disappear

because I am not just thin air...

well maybe not even that

because you know I am here

you just changed the glass on the vision

of the landscape

in which you see me

you put on your pink glasses

hoping you will forget my red gleam

but remember this darling,

one of these days, you are going to have to take them off

.....................................................................................................................

in contradiction to the title, but such a strong vibe for me...

https://youtu.be/j-b2kGCh2vI

We fell in love

Tangled

In the cool breeze of summer

We forgot

History

We forgave

Mistakes

We were just there

For each other

Because that’s

What we both needed

Someone

To understand

Someone

To be there

Someone

To listen

You let me

Cry in your arms

You let me

Talk my fears away

But the summer ended

Nothing good ever lasts

We had to go back

To the way it was

You told me

What we had was real

But we couldn’t keep it

We had to let go

You told me

You would never forget

The time we spent together

But we would never

Be together again

The summer is over

It has been for quite a while

But I won’t forget

I don’t want to

There was something

That summer

That can’t be replaced

And it doesn’t hurt anymore

But I still find you on my mind

What we had

What we could have been

If things were different

No more sympathy

I can’t

I shouldn’t

I won’t

Let you win

We weren’t playing a game

But I gave you first place.

Why am I letting you control me?

We are two separate people

Two minds

Two hearts

Two souls

Different

Divergent.

And yet I devoted myself to you

Gave everything to you

Let you take me over

Without consent

For I was wasted

Drunk

From teenage love

That existed only

In my head.

-do not believe every “I love you”

I never understood,

What is means to have the "right love at the wrong time."

But now I have learned the meaning of could,

And how you might have been mine.

Too bad you were older,

And I too young,

For our love has grown colder,

And the spring has already sprung.

You might have forgotten me,

I do not know,

If there even was a we,

But I do hope so.

I hope you moved on,

You deserve so much more,

Than I can give you John,

Hold on nevermore.

Maybe you hid,

Your feelings away,

But it is time to get rid,

Of those feelings today.

I wish I could hold you,

Confess all my love,

For it's long overdue,

And you're too far above.

I am terrible at rhyming,

Something is feeling quite wrong,

Because I feel like crying,

Since you are gone.

We could have been perfect,

We could have been strong,

We might have been wrecked,

But we could have been lifelong.

Instead we had to weather,

The pain and agony,

Of not being together,

My, my, my, such a tragedy.

To think so much love went to waste,

Because of timing,

We try to replace,

The one we love, while sighing.

Why did it have to be?

We were so perfect for eachother,

But we had to agree,

These emotions we must smother.

I still love you,

Do you still love me, too?

One step

Away from you

Away from my heart that you broke in two

Away from the burden of my feelings for you

Away from the haunting memories of you

Away from the memories of me smiling for you

Away from me loving you

Two steps

Away from you

Away from crying

Away from trying

Away from dying

Away from the lonely night without you

The nights that are the best for you

The nights that you are drinking

The nights that you are partying

The nights that you’re whoring

While I’m at home thinking

When you’ll be coming

Three steps

Away from you

Because I am so done with you

I am so done of thinking where are you

I am so done wondering what to do with you

I am so done crying because of you

I am so done of killing myself for you

I am so done of the world that lost its hue

To me, because of you

Four steps

Away from us

To the past that we had

To the memories passed

To the happiness that can never be brought back

To the fears that I can’t detach

Five steps

Away from us

Away from you

And I’m not looking back

Because I am so done

I am so done with you.

And I’m not turning back,

I’m living a life without you.

it’s going to be never ending

if i keep on pretending

that everything is fine

but i’ll never intertwine

my lonely heart with yours

we’ll never open any doors

no, i’ll never know you

you’ll never know me, too

you’ll just keep on running

i’ll just keep on humming

the tune you put in my head

wishin’ these feelings were dead

hold on,

stop

let’s back up a second

do you even know my name?

do you know my favorite color,

my favorite game?

do you see how insane this is

you still think i’m his

while here i stand

holding out my hand

you like to hide

with comments I’d call snide

you act like your better

than a love letter

you hide behind a wall

and it seems like you stand tall

but you’re only faking

while secretly you’re shaking

why do you do this

everyone you dismiss

might actually care

and will always be there

you just gotta trust

stop looking on with disgust

open that hidden heart

i wanna play my part

show you the truth

and bring back your youth

trust me, I know

how far you want to go

i’ll just hold your hand

and

you’ll

be in command

Rag doll,

a tapestry of threads.

stitched together

by veins,

a desecrated vessel.

sutures torn,

abscessed wound,

a sundered organ.

necrotic tissue

from a perniciuos

paramore.

decaying domestication.

it takes eight years

to pillage my heart.

a cavernous hollow,

unhealed.

now riven,

ravaged.

he stole its beauty

but not its

beat.

I know what love is

Love is a person

An idea

A notion

Love is what a movie told you

What love is

Or someone you hold dear

When you saw who he was with

Or one or both of your parents told you

That it's right around the corner

Santa Clauses' eminent arrrival

And it'll soon be over

Or that time when you let it all go

And just placed hope where it could hang

Just to live a vampire's life

Wondering whose is the bloody fang

You see the scape of love's city

But never the inner streets and alleyways

Soon love mixes ugly and pretty

And one's thought are never what he prays

I know love because it always came in a dream

It spoke and made promises I believed

Love is sure never as it would seem

And if it was, why does any breakup equal deceived?

@Fortbruce

I once knew a lovers touch

The warmth of his body

as he caressed me so much.

I once knew the bliss

Of a lovers desire

by his deep passionate kiss

Yet here in the present

No lover remains

My Soul starving, starts the descent

For when the Soul, Mind, and Body

Loose that connection

The heart shattered and

I lost all sense of direction.

Love and the homely virgin

How could we ever have known?

If only they had considered

Why she never left home

Shallow are those in society

Who only considered her looks

Yet to really find out about her

Look deep in her crannies and nooks

If those who were so dismissive

Who only saw a homely girl then

Would not see the hidden beauty

Within was an extraordinary gem

Society judges by appearance

Short-sighted standards for sure

If only we were judged based on character

Those qualities that truly endure

The homely and lonely virgin

A pure-heart who’s never been kissed

The world is darker not knowing

Just what a gem they have missed

(c) BAM