Jack & Jill.
They say two heads
Are better than one-
In this case there's none,
Each was voidless.
For you see,
There's so much
They tried to be...
Even cooks for lunch.
Jack was loud
And Jill was proud.
Till one day,
Both were at bay.
A storm passed by...
Soon they were fry,
Zip, zap, went the -
Lightning, with a strike.
Jack gained a quicker mind,
Jill became more kind.
Everyone pondered-
& they wondered.
What happened to
Jack and Jill?
They are now so
Much better at the grill.
Ho White and the Seven Dwarfs(Not!)
Oh, Ho White was not a virgin
she slept with every young prince
knew all the tricks of the trade
the men lusted after every creamy inch.
The Queen found out and was furious
because Ho White was the fairest
in the land, prettier than the Queen
she banished Ho White to the forest.
Told the huntsman to bring back her heart
after he, also, slept with the fair maiden,
he didn’t have the will to end her life
so he put a plump pig’s heart in a box, laden
Took it to the Queen who chortled
shaking her rolls of fat like grape jellies
realizing she was the fairest because
she made sure the other maidens’ bellies
were either dead or locked in towers
where they smelled and couldn’t take showers.
Ho White came to a little cottage
and found seven little dwarfs residing
named Storm, Thorn, Lance, Stud, Manfred,
Big Boy and Bud, all there abiding.
Luckily, although they were little in stature,
they were not little where it counted –
in fact, their unmentionables were huge
she couldn’t believe the size when they mounted.
She tried one out each day of the week
and sometimes, she had threesomes or more
she was so naughty and having a great time.
Queen found out, sent a poison apple to her door
Ho White ate the fruit and fell in a coma
only a prince could awaken her.
One day, a fair prince who had known
her in the past, saw her and asked “Whatzup?”
He remembered she was a good romp in the hay
so rubbed her body sensually with oil
she began to tingle and moan, “Oh, oh! more!”
and he did and she did and their blood began to boil.
And he swooped her up on his princely white horse
took her back to palace bed where she remained
deliriously romping with the Prince day and night
Happily Ever After! For it was all preordained!
COOKING UP A STORM
I may have stirred the pot a bit
Even messed it up a tad
But it needed some extra ingredients
New flavours for the mix
So I added some more colour
I wasn't picky or fussy
Some different textures too
& then just a dash of spices
To give it a real good kick
I threw it all together
Gave it another good stir
Some people weren't too happy
Because I'm cooking up a storm
It frightens them
Angers them
But that's not my concern
This dish is bold, different
& yes, rebellious too
But, my friend, there you have it
The makings of a pretty darn good dish
So shut up and eat!
Copyright: CJ
Trombone
The jawbone's connected to the trombone.
Extra Lines
I'm an idiot.
To that, I must confess.
I didn't know I had to write
twenty words or more, but no less.
Thanks to my mistake
I was stopped in my tracks
when I clicked on the Post button.
I was given the ruling facts.
These few extra lines
I have had to scavenge
so I would be able to post
in this wittiest poem challenge.
And now I have learned
what they taught in my schools.
Next time I accept a challenge,
I will have to follow the rules.
PEN
Call to Poets, Essayists & Novelists
for a challenge
sounds like a falange
play on WIT...
Now sit & scribe the best fit
So here I submit...
Romeos have gone to their grave having falling in love
Writers have met their lonesome fate describing love
All have paid heavy duty for an emotion called love
so you all agree to this fact
now go and write with soulful tact.....
united we stand divided we misunderstand.
