My dignity!

Oh my dignity

What did I do to you darling

What did I do to you...

You held me up high to the sky

And I wallowed you in mud

You were shield on my chest

And I stabbed you in the back

You were glowing fire in my eyes

Lighting my path

And now...

The mirrors ashamed of me

My dignity...

Oh darling

Your blood on my hands

Tastes bitter in my lungs

I knock on my chest in tears and griefs

Guilty, guilty, guilty I am

My dignity-

Darling-

don't leave me alone...

Without you I'm worthless

Without you

I'm nothing! but weekness

Don't leave me alone

Don't leave me alone, darling

Rise again and shine

Rise again and shine

Rise-- and shine

My darling 

I coax my dignity boots up to my knees

stand tall and laugh, “So there!”

Proudly striding past mocking face,

hold my head high and proclaim,

“I’m not a fruit rotting on your vine,

I will not crawl on your littered floor!”

I zipper a grin from one side to other -

a little tight but I’ll get used to it!

My limbs will dance with abandon

as I stretch my time without you,

bequeath to you an empty bed

and place my dignity where it belongs,

riding into life on white stallion wings

away from you on permanent leave.

Dignity,

Please stand up with me when I show weakness. When I start to falter grab my hand and show me a better way to be. Help me step as a real woman and not a whore.

Guide my decisions with wisdom and not with emotions so that I do not fall into the trap of being weak in the flesh.

Dignity give me your strength to carry myself in such a way that I will be an honorable woman.

I am humbly in your debt

Vyxyn

Dear Dignity,

I'm sorry I've abandoned you for so many years. Forgive me for not being able to manage your presence. I feel like you require so much attention and I have so little to give. I truly believe, from the bottom of my heart, that you would be happier in someone else's conscience. 

Don't take it personally. It's just that theres no space for you anymore. If anything, you can blame Mr. Foolishness and Mrs. Stupidity, their existence is simply incompatible to yours and quite frankly they're renting out more and more brain space over the years. 

You know how you get with them when things get out of hand. You try shoving them in a corner, out of sight, or writing them off under false labeling; Brother Acting and Sister Exhaustion are sick of of being slandered by you, and Mama Embarrassment just loses it whenever the slightest problem arises. 

I wish I had the B₡ (brain cells) to pay for your own mini lodging, but I'm sorry, I just can't afford it anymore, especially not with yet another Baby Exisistential Crisis on the way. 

Where did you go?

Why did you leave me one day,

To fend for myself on my own?

Where do you lurk?

Not behind that mirror there.

Not in the blade that lies around here.

One day you simply disappeared.

And when you backed into the shadows

Did you take away my spine as well?

Because I no longer seem able to sit upright

And look people in the eye.

I feel your absence

As strongly as the loss of a limb

And I'm willing to beg

For you to please, please come back

Because I don't have any self respect

To hold me back

I called out- "Dignity!"

I looked everywhere.

Humor tried to send me on a wild goose chase.

Despair just cried over its loss.

Logic told me it was meaningless.

Love gave me it's sympathy.

Then I remembered.

I never had any dignity.

Notes for consideration prior to your performance review 2017

Dear dignity

   You and I need to have a little talk about your job description,  for example it was really good of you to point out that the dress I had chosen to wear had a tear in a unfortunate place,  not terribly dignified for a lady of my standing. But why did you not mention it before I left the house? Checking the appropriateness of outfits must be done before departure.

    Thank you for pointing out that I am unable to walk elegantly in heels after four rum punches, but I consider it negligent that you failed  to mention this before I drank that forth one, It is your job to make sure I can both enter and exit social situations the right way up. 

     When I'm half way up the mast trying to unjam a dodgy shackle, don't start commenting on the state of my shorts, I have better things to do up there than worry about dignity, you can go put your head in a bucket. Oh and while we are talking about buckets, should I suffer from a touch of "mal de mar" just go away there is no dignified way to be seasick.

     When I am out in public I require you to be my constant companion, on duty at all times, just because I have had a glass of wine does not excuse you. I do not wish to find out that, after a drink or two, Self Respect, Morals, Duty and your good self have all slurped off behind the bike shed.You have a job to do, I do not tolerate excuses. 

   Your attendance however is not required at mammograms, cervical smears and sundry gynaecological  appointments, there is nothing you can contribute and your attendance is distracting.

   At the end of the day, should I choose to take my man and close the bedroom door, please go and smell the petunias, for that is one part of my life in which I require no assistance from you.

Your dignity is

Overrated, Isn’t it?

Morality counts.

Dignity kisses

Ever so softly, before

Slapping my sad face.