Give Me Whiskey and Give Me Death
I’m marching under flowing skirt of death
after smoking and drinking my existence away
Whiskey, whiskers, whisked away
fateful initiation to my hastened demise.
Why, oh why, didn’t I take care of myself?
I will be sailing with the free spirits soon
Whiskey, whiskers, whisked away
floating above, I’ll look down at my friends.
This note is to warn you that you won’t
still be here, I’m taking you with me
Whiskey, whisker, whisked away
Together we’ll skim above our friends.
I’ve lost my appetite thinking of death -
But I could use a big shot of whiskey!
You’re not alone
This chapter will fold as autumn leave's fall
Forgive me for penning this tragedy
I lie in the edge chagrined, to a degree, at peace
There’s a memory of charming innocence
A moment rich with laughter and magic cares
The picture of childhood dancing far away
I was verdant as a leaf; naive
Innocence quickly grew stale, yet you stayed
Even when I wrestled forces of coming of age
Had the ticks of time been louder in my ear
Had this bold indomitable hour visible to the eye
Would I have waged a fiery unfading warfare
Would I have trembled to speak or supplicate
Perhaps it would've kindled up my wills to live
But now, here I lie, trounce to a seedling
I sought in vain for wrinkles in my path
something worth revising, a knot to even out,
Or a crooked fate to smoothen with grace
A fault that if I had not made, x-rays would’ve come out clean
Most sadly ’tis ventures that I've readily forgotten
I will pen you one last notice; then, my eyes ’ll shut forever
Do not lament the expiry of my ravished body
It’s been long in coming, hear my confession now
How I lived, years upon years in reverse
Your love I locked within, and without declaration
As these bones ignite with final flicker of motion
I begin to wonder the gist of own narrative
Tears fall in waves, it feels like I’ve been drifting parallel to the very thing I would've sacrificed everything to procure
Try not to seek for a medic to fix my fever
A long prognosis flaps beneath my bed
Before me now stands a fitting catacomb
I shall leap in, I’m a willing apprentice
You will find my tufted hair in a drawer
Sear it in hot embers and toss the ashes at sea
but still I forbid cries of pain,
just to behold a face so fair
Pray admire my vernal ventures
even in the depths of despair
Do not wonder why I did not say a word
To your face, I could never say it loud
In vain I strove to shield your heart from this bane
You know I ran tracks, what's oblivious to you
is that I was racing a disease, a little too late
for me to say,
but this disease was so stealth in its endeavor
so I couldn't even get the chance to say
Piece by piece, I was pulverized
till a gaunt caricature was carved
If life I contain yields today, bury me at once without ceremony
I hold dear every thrilling memory
the day your eyes made a debut in mine
I was ignited, and the thrill still stirs in me
that even in my death, my soul'll be here
you're not alone!
I never really thought I could die. I'm young, and life stretched out for me like an endless expanse of road, the kind found in the country- flat and straight but with so much opportunity and beauty. To think that I would die some day was impossible to me.
I am the embodiment of the teenage cliché.
Yet, by means I will not go into, I now not only recognize I will die, but I know it will be soon. I can't say anything to you while I'm here, but I hope you find this when I'm gone because there are things I need to say, and I need to know they were received.
I'm not quite ready to die.
I have a pile of letters and stories and poems on that little black box you always asked about. You can open it now. Please do. Please read every written word contained inside. I think you might realize some things I never told you.
I have secrets that I don't want to keep.
The box should be sitting on a pile of notebooks. Read those as well. I wrote a lot of beginnings, but no endings. I'll let you do those. Let my characters live out their stories. Please don't let them hang in suspension eternally.
My characters mean more than I do, in the end.
Share my words everywhere you can. Maybe my body can't go on, but in many ways my thoughts can. I don't care if no one knows my name, but I don't want my being to be forgotten. I want to make a difference.
Words are the essence of being.
I don't need a fancy funeral. Donate my organs, let them be helpful. I might be dead, but most of me should still work with a proper system. I want to be cremated. Scatter me in the winds. They say death is an adventure, after all.
Practicality will make me happiest.
Thank you, and I'm sorry.
You'll be fine without me.
You never really needed me.
And when I die, don’t let me perish,
Remember all my lively days,
Within your heart forever cherish,
The memories of my lovely ways.
When I return in form of spirit,
And whisper words against your ear,
Do not pretend you didn’t hear it,
Do not deny that I am near.
For in my life I saw it clearly,
My body soon would rest below,
The flesh eventually grows weary,
But not the everlasting soul.
White Suits and White Dresses
If I ever die too soon
To never live my life complete
Wear white suits and white dresses
For the last time we meet
And don't waste away in tears
When there's nothing to be sad
About celebrating a life
And the memories we had
Throw a party, make it wild
Or find those happy places
To keep smiles on your faces
Because I'd rather you be happy
About a life so brief
Then to know that my passing
Would cause you all this grief
If I die
If I die young,
Hold my funeral in a trampoline park so everyone will smile. Make sure to eat ice cream and chocolate and almonds so you think of me every day. Watch all the Harry Potter movies in a row, I want to know how long it takes. Run a marathon, so you can say you did it. Smile as much as possible, even when your down, so you can share your beautiful smile with the world. Write a letter to me in heaven every day, so I know how your day was. And make sure you follow your dreams too, because even adults need to have fun.
If I die now,
Hold my funeral in a forest. Where the trees are surrounding me, and the leaves with coat my gravestone. Burry me close to the river, so I can always hear it's song. But most of all, make sure there's music. Music that will harmonize with the river, to form the most lovely melody. Write a letter to Jesus, and lay it in my hands, so I can take it to heaven for you.
If I die old,
Burry me by the playground, so I can hear the song of child's play. So little children can ask they're parents why it's there and they don't know why. To remind them they don't know everything. Lay flowers on my grave every Monday, to brighten your day. Marry a good woman. Make sure you smile. Always smile my child. Always follow you dreams.
Before it Spreads
THE STRUGGLING has REACHED
thee ends -
to find some positive diagnosis;
the drained hologram,
the fatigue reddened shoulders,
that rapidity of thumb taps….
However it should happen,
to recover from some
knockout blow by Mezmerino
or whomever; there I want to refuel
and pick myself straight into
into all the depravation of tragedy
of salaries unattainable
and reality of art untouchable;
because in no way will I suffer
Not so much scared of the Doctor
and whitecoats or even the tests
and treatments maybe,
the medieval tortures I shall be;
but the bill terrifies me.
Blow up the hospitals.
I could all curl, fetal,
writhing in pain
in the middle of
a claustrophobic operation..
But in the vacancy,
and the inability to feel good
endorphins coursing these veins,
as if my world has been
and through glorious paint brushes
just form me and my era;
go absorb with as much awe
as if time were so ancient
yet on the pulp a brand new text
as if Rome were still there
albeit in pieces; as if Atlantis surfaced
like my city … my people, my giving.
yeah so but not so much that I do not
want to suffer but I want to be remembered
for more than what he said to me,
“to see these places
that still exist. Ruins and remains.
And unearth the past and reconstruct
Things.” Oh how he turned to me
Then turned me away.
In so many ways, as if there
would be one . . . .
“well there are many tests
we can do. But without any
insurance, it can be real expensive...”
—“I would like to be sure
before it spreads….whatever it is.”
Oh don’t be silly, doc. It is nothing.
“Everything will be alright.”
Except the slow sinking feeling.
Dear Heavenly Father....
I don't know how but I think the sand in my hourglass is almost caput. I thank you for giving days filled with a lot to learn and experience. And also all the people I got to know along the way. Most of all I thank you for sending me one of your very own angels who I got to call as Mum.
Wow! How time flies. I was lucky to get to wander and explore your own creation- This world. It's a lovely place. So amazing. Full of variety of different cultures, people, customs, traditions and such a wide range of languages too. Now I am looking forward to see what the greater dwelling place-Heaven-is like.
I spoke with my folks at home and they were shocked to hear me say goodbye. They think that I may be going crazy. But in reality it's the truth. I am certain for sure that my time has come.
Now for my last final words before I depart. I must say that I hope that my little sister is waiting for me at the gates of your heavenly kingdom. We had a chance to be with her for but only for a real short while. I can't wait to see her. I'm sure you've been taking really great care of her. Sadly, the medical team here all tried their best to help her. They did not succeed. Why didn't they check to see if her heart was fully developed? Ugh(sigh). I guess You knew the problem already and You decided to just have her back. Right? Anyway I am grateful for this life that i had to live. It was pretty good. Hope my friends and family will all behave & are looking forward to join me as well in the after life.
Your wandering sheep,
(P.S. I would like to join the ministry of Angel service after my departure here on earth. I can't wait!)