I Don’t Want to Adult Anymore
Adulting is sucking my will to live.
Sucking me dry what more can I give?
5 months in a row, rent's 12 days past due.
Pants for my kid? He's only got 2.
A shut off notice taped to the front door;
I don't understand how I got so poor!
An angry scraping from under the car;
I'm afraid it won't get us all that far.
Unopened mail stacked 4 inches deep...
If I fall out now, that's 4 hours of sleep.
Money in the bank, but I lack the will.
Adulting is struggling to pay the bills.
Every week day, I drive the same way;
I parked in this same spot yesterday.
I smile and nod at the same old faces.
Go auto-pilot through the same old places.
I buy the same groceries at the same store
The butcher has been there a decade or more.
3 inches of roots, and hair turning white...
Fine lines and wrinkles appear in the night.
I see the same moms at practice and games
In 20 years all that's changed are last names.
Last month an unwanted pregnancy scare,
I don't want to be a grandma, this isn't fair!
I'm not ready to give up, give in to my years
Adulting is watching your youth disappear.
Adulting means arriving on time to work,
No losing tempers when the boss is a jerk.
It's researching options of insurance plans,
It's trading convertibles for minivans.
Adulting is carpools and play dates and naps,
To yell as an adult, I type in ALL CAPS.
Vacation is planned a year in advance,
Embarrass the offspring whenever I dance.
Adulting at meals means healthy is good,
The bowels need fiber that tastes like wood.
There's so much pressure & so much worry,
Adulting is everything done in a hurry.
I find it odd how kids rush to be grown,
I did it myself, if only I'd known...
Adulting's not fun, responsibilities are tough,
No one really cares, and life is often rough.
Kids will eat a pizza and 2 pieces of cake,
Adults eat half that, then have a bellyache!
Adulting means ambition, aim for the sky!
Check your cholesterol or you might die!
No more blind faith in childhood magic,
Forward momentum, Adulting is tragic.
Honestly, adulthood, truly it sucks,
Most days I’m unhappy, I will confess.
Working my ass off, inadequate bucks,
An eternal struggle consumed by stress.
Leisure, are you kidding, time is lacking,
Most days I don’t want to get out of bed.
With all of these bills, no time for slacking,
Not sure how much more water I can tread.
Contemplating a homicidal spree,
So many on my “list” I’d love to choke.
You look at me oddly, but hey, that’s free,
I swear I’m going to die from a stroke.
But would I want to be a child again?
Nope, I say, as I grab another pen.
The sequel to childhood, being a grown up
It isn't as fun as I thought
Work, responsibilities, training a pup
Many things I was never taught
Always in a hurry, shopping, child care
Recess never gets called
Late on the highway, stop and pay the fare
Now my man is bald
Never have time to myself anymore
Theres always a knock on the door
My everyday chores are things I abhor
Laundry, dishes, sweeping the floor
It's well worth every tear, every race
When I look at my little boy
He looks back with awe on his face
I'm his hero like his Batman toy.
Get up, eat, shower, go to work, come home, eat.
So what else is new?
Well.... there's this guy that just started working there.
Yeah. I think he likes me.
Yeah. He stops by my desk on his way to the coffee room.
Is that all?
Well.... I told him a joke. He smiled and poked my shoulder.
What's his name?
Donny, I think.
Did he ask your name?
I said, "Isabelle."
That's not your name.
Did he ask for your phone number?