# X-rated Mathematics

Mmm! He was such a sexy ten

He counted his fingers sensually

on my body in fours and fives.

When he used both hands,

he multiplied my lust by two.

His tongue divided my core

into jangling carnal pieces.

Thrusting himself within,

we became one.

graphed together in

X’s of desire.

“But Y,” I asked,

"must he subtract himself

leaving me

minus one,

even less than zero?"

# Random Math Encouragements

Put your family and friends in brackets,

So if there is ever a problem,

You can solve them first.

If your feeling sad,

Subtract the frown and add a grin.

If you are happy,

Multiply the smiles and spread the joy.

And remember that two negatives don't make a positive,

Expect when you are dividing integers.

# Statistics Notwithstanding

**Analytical flippancy**;

*simper for me, prince*.

**Calculated taps of your keyboard**;

*sensory storms brew, darling*.

**Immeasurable wit**;

*whimsically you tease, sweetheart*.

**Augmented intonation**;

*whisper for me, I'll listen for days*.

You multiplied your time,

for all that you love.

But you couldn't divide,

our improper affair,

in order to make it whole.

# Directly Proportional

The more she smiled,

The more he felt his heart skip a beat.

Her love increased for him,

He felt his love grow twice.

Her affection for him grew,

So did his.

Her kisses became more passionate,

His love grew wilder.

She soon grew ill.

His pain increased as well.

Her body weakened,

His heart weakened more.

She left the world,

His soul died twice.

# x and y

Let:

x be you; and

y be me.

How shall it ever be?

Can x + y always be happy?

Can x - y work with negatives?

Can x (y) be better than ever?

Can x / y be broken together?

Let us remember.

How another factor shall always affect the answer.

How these probabilities may always be probable.

How these factors act together for a result.

How some answers are not possible.

Let us hope

that we won't be the stories

my math teacher told me.

Like parallel lines.

Never meeting together. Not once.

Or asymptotes that grow closer and closer.

Into infinity. But never cross paths.

Or tangents that meets once and parts.

I will always remember.

And always will.

Our probability of meeting.

Is enough for me.

# u n e q u a l

the equation

was laid out in front of me

before i even knew addition

good grades + good college = success

bad grades + no college = failure

they made sure

i did not forget that lesson

they drilled into my head

that the letters written on a paper

held more worth than a smile

so i fulfilled the equation

that equals success

i did everything to perfection

but no one ever told me that

success ≠ happiness

# 10 Reasons I’m Dumping You

One - You embarrass me in public, sometimes in front of hundreds of people, just to watch me blush. Do you have a blush fetish? Is there such a thing? I just don't get it.

Two - You make sense zero percent of the time. I can't decipher your nonsense and I'm exhausted from trying.

Three - We fight 24/7. And see point number two.

Four - Margo. Need I say more on this? And yes, you totally did. Again. I haven't been keeping track. Is that fifty broken promises?

Five - The smoking. Really? In 2017? It kills you. Stop it.

Six - I was twenty minutes late so you left the restaurant on our one year anniversary?

Seven - I did not "gain five pounds", but thanks for saying so in front of the neighbors.

Eight - Kaiser. Yes, the dog. It's not his fault, but (1) you let him lick your toes when we're watching TV, (2) he sleeps between the two of us and (3) you smell like him...often. I'm not sure exactly why that is (and I'm not sure I want to know), but it's off-sides.

Nine - The excessive yogurt scraping. Those last five or six scrapes are totally unnecessary. Really, it's all gone now. I will give you $1 to buy another. Just please leave the cup alone.

Ten - In all the fights, all the times I've cried, you've hugged me only one time that I can remember. Inexcusable. This is bare minimum stuff. You are putting in zero effort, so I'm 100% done. Have fun with Margo and the toe licking. Maybe Kaiser can teach her a thing or two...

# Solve For Life

(Dreams + Fears)

(Motivation • Influence)

(Ambition / Ethics)

____________________

?

Everyone on the planet is just another number, and our value is determined by the above problem.

Allow me to break it down.

Life's equation is made up of three things directly related to each other -

the sum of your thoughts, the product of your environment, and the quotient of your actions, all at once.

They determine the answer.

But these sets of numbers aren't fixed.

Their values can be positive, negative, or maybe even a neutral zero.

Because there's no one right solution set for life.

And in any equation, the only thing that matters is the variable.

You.

The only instructions for the ultimate equation?

*Solve for life.*

# Math Class

Multiplying, dividing,

Teacher chiding,

Interest subsiding,

Time biding.

Calculating percents,

Linear segments,

Monthly rents,

Dollars, cents.

Complex fraction,

Mental abstraction,

Sickly reaction,

Wanting distraction.

Minus, plus,

Integers thus,

Let’s discuss,

Elaborate fuss.

Probability odds,

Dozing nods,

Thirds, quads,

Class plods.

Geometry measure,

Much displeasure,

Planning leisure,

Seeking treasure.

Sine, cosine,

Tangents align,

Homework assign,

Students whine.

Complicated function,

Attempted expunction,

Difficult adjunction,

Mental malfunction.

Quadratic equation,

Mind invasion,

Brain abrasion,

Desired evasion.

# I hate math

The first equation was a breeze

Two plus two is four, with ease!

The first two years are really fun;

The functions numbered only one.

But grab your butts! Things do get weird

Two times two is four, I fear.

But add a number to either one,

And three times three is nine, not fun!

All the stuff got worse from there

It passed by quickly, like the air

Then Satan thought he'd have a laugh.

"Let's put the alphabet in math!"

I have no idea how to answer this

I can't do much but reminisce

Now my math is not a breeze.

Can someone do my homework please?