He sits in a prison of his making, buried under the weight of unseen shadows, and dogged by mistakes of a past his present self will not acknowledge. A man in fear for his life, in fear of his wife, a man about to take his life, or just a man and nothing but.  He is me, and I am him. A person apart from him, a sole piece of him, and just like him, I am a coward. I fear many things but suffer from an even greater fear: the fear of one’s self. I hide behind a vacuous smile and hollow eyes in fear that expressing my opinions might inflict pain on another. I avoid my feelings as in my emotions is a dangerous place to be. I am afraid that in my constant neglect of honesty and openness I have rendered myself incapable of articulation. I fear that I will never be able to direct my life’s story and not be threatened or guilted into it as I have been all my life. I lack the courage to stand up to the wielders of my freedom, to stand up to the jailers in my mind, and my imaginary oppressors. I believe I am capable of doing so but doubt the righteousness of the act, plagued by a faulty moral compass that presents itself whenever it chooses. I fear the freedom I hope to own as my heart is now fettered to fear.

If I don’t object

I’m a coward,

barely a member

of the race

because I am brave

enough to kill

but not enough

to risk disgrace.

They say cowards die

a thousand deaths

but for me that

comment’s out of place.

I’d rather die

a thousand more

and live at peace

within my faith.

--------

In 1974, the Assistant Secretary-General of the United Nations, Sean MacBride said, in his Nobel Lecture, "To the rights enshrined in the Universal Declaration of Human Rights one more might, with relevance, be added. It is ' The Right to Refuse to Kill.'"

When lightning strikes

You lock the door

She tries to run

You grease the floor

Your clumsy flirting

Fails to score

And so you call her

"Little whore"

She's chaste - You're evil

Incarnate

You know of nothing

But to hate.

Your bloody hands

Leave crimson brands

Upon the things

That you "command"

Your problem's

Simple cowardice.

When peeped

You preen

And take the piss

Heads up...

The World

Is watching you

We're wise

To all the dirt you do-

A fearful man

Without a clue

Whose lies give way

To what is true

[Image cropped from watercolor by Kim Boettcher-Knuth @kimconnections on Instagram]

I'm a coward when it comes to elation, because I've learned the fall breaks more than bones, sending shards into the bloodstream. I've felt the brush of angels and woke to the snarling face of devils as they shed blood within the cycles of my dreams. Nothing prepares you for the plunge from divinity to rot, and I can't remember where the memories fit. So, I envy the snake who never rises and sheds its weakness like a map. I envy the fish who sleeps within its sky while the ground rises to swaddle fins in the dark. I've been been an invisible flake of night, a secret in the breeze; been glitter in sun, adored for pushing light away from myself into their faces, so I live with a steady caution. My hope is that one day the earth will turn to blue when the sky falls and I'll sink beneath the bits of day as one prepared for the collapse. Though I fear the mountain, I know, the statue carved by nature will one day form the pedestal on which I rise. On that day, the coward will fall to glory.

Once upon a time, a shoe cobbler received an invitation to a world class exhibition.

He spent many hours in his workshop making shoes unlike the world as ever seen.

"There is no way I won't win", he said assuring himself.

When his work was completed, he bought a new suit and a classic shoe.

Very happy and high spirited, he arrived to the august occasion in style. In his brown suitcase were the classic shoes, he had made, Everyone who had to present their piece had to wait on a long queue.

Finally, the cobbler was to present his classic shoes. After his breath taking speech and presentation, the judges were stunned and speechless, except one.

"Excuse me sir, what is the name of the shoe you are wearing."

The cobbler replied,"Alberto Fermani"

Immediately, cheering crowd became silent.

"Here are shoes unlike the world as ever seen. How do you expect us to fund the making of these shoes when you don't believe in them? Sir, what does that make you?"

The cobbler replied,"a coward"

That day, the cobbler went home with a sad and regretful face,

for he had failed a great test.

THE END.

"Mommy, what happened to my daddy?"

"Daddy was a coward sweetie"

For 14 years we called him that, I had no clue of his real name

For my birthday mom bought our first computer

She said all the information I wanted to know I could now find using this magical device.

So I looked up my father's name- "coward"-online

but what came up was not what i had on my mind

instead of his picture, google showed me a line

"definition: a person who lacks courage"

"mommy! daddy's just afraid to come home? go find him and tell him that he won't be alone!"

she looked down on me and smiled, then pulled out a chair

"sit down darling, its time we talked about your father's affair."

i sat for hours and hours as she droned on and on, 

all about some mystery man -one day here, the next day gone.

I grew up and moved on, without a care in the world

went from grade school to high school to college and beyond

soon i met a boy, 

not romantic- we weren't in love 

but one night it was late, so we went to his place

some kissing turned to more and 9 months later that day came

we agreed to "make it work" started a "family"and bought a house

but a few weeks later i found a note that turned me into my mother

i guess now my father and my son's both share the same name

My beautiful dream is within you and I.

Together we made this blessing in disguise.

Our family's future so brilliantly bright.

You gave me such hope, majestic and right.

Wait, what?

You say your leaving,

You can't stay?

Playing house isn't in your

DNA!

You said the words I longed for,

I gave you what you wanted more.

Now as I sit here growing a life inside, all you want now is to run and hide.

You tell me it won't work, you said,

"Don't even try!"

To let you go and find some other random guy.

The responsibility is yours,

loving your child should never be a chore.

Damn can this really be?

The raising of this child is solely on me.

As I lay me down to sleep,

I convinced myself not to weep.

I'm a mother-to-be- hear me roar,

my life will go on and it will soar.

The hell with you,

Your not a man!

I don't need you any longer to hold my hand.

Go ahead,, I will let you run away.

I only have one more word to say;

Coward!!

Isn't it so selfishly cowardly of us to be cowards?

To be afraid of life

To be afraid to live

To be afraid to give

How brave would it be to live a life full of lust

Create an existence to be remembered

Give to others what you are afraid to lose

But, it's so unbelievably hard to be brave

Oh, how easy it is to be a coward 

Are you

InSane

I am

Not

Going In

There

Some

Thing

Is Eating

Men

In the

Forest

of Fear

‪#‎B27321‬

Drop of the gavel, judgement served.

With closed eyes, facts observed.

A coward, he was, by word of mouth.

Never was a timely drouth.

Simple man of simple sin.

Of kind that most let sleep within.

Took his own, the life bestowed.

How this makes a man a coward?

I do not know.