1 part Twitch

1 part Stutter

2 parts "I wish I could be better"

Nervous glance, add for flavor,

Trying too hard for Strangers' Favor

Add 1 part Self-Effacing

Mix with my Attitude, degrading

my closest friends, complementing the bitter greens of Envy

And a delightful splash of Insecurity

Discard scraps of Vulnerability

Present myself polished

Struggle intensely with Identity

Set aside one handful of Cynicism for garnish

After my poor words are all mistaken

And Self-Worth all but taken,

Serve with Confidence, first stirred, then shaken.

Set oven for highest heat. Cooking time may vary.

3 tantalizing leg crosses

3 dress hikes showing thigh tops

2 tosses of shiny hair

1 moist lick of lips

Stir and move closer.

Add:

1 hand on knee

1 nuzzle of pink ears

Unbutton top 2 buttons of blouse

Lean forward twice and shake so breasts are exposed

Allow arousal to marinate for 30 minutes

Remove from heated lounge

Undulate hips slowly toward vehicle

Extend 1 long leg at a time as you remove yourself from car.

Walk seductively up stairs

Place sensual concoction on bed

Add liberal amount of moisture and passion

Stir, boil, savor and repeat

Recipe make 1 large portion for the hungry male appetite.

2 Tablespoons Confidence

3 Cup Sarcasm

1 Teaspoon Anger

A pinch of Originality for color

A hint of Humility, to taste

Mix well, then cover with:

1 1/2 Cups Dry Humor

Stretch into Skinny Jeans and Plaid Shirts.

Cook at 98.6 degrees for 25 years.

Serve with Chilled Demeanor and Recklessness. Best served hot, and best enjoyed late in the evening with Laughter and wine.