Tiny black slippers
Pink taffeta lace
Red cheek rouge
Pretty vaseline smile
Tight little bun
Play swan music
Entertain the crowd
Mommy loves stars!
Shy ballerina crying
First position, GO!
Making myself smaller
in neighbor’s yard
hiding rhubarb patch
munching juicy rhubarb
when she screamed,
“You little brat,
come out here!
Face the music!”
I scrunched down
made myself invisible.
Age was tender;
My mind surrenders;
An image of;
A toddler, three.
Behold a face;
A familial trace;
Looking at her;
Her at me.
My baby sis,
Born March 23.
Father is home
Excitedly I wait
Opens the door
Scoops me up
Hugs me close
Kisses my cheek
I'm so small
He's a giant
Feels like flying
Like little superhero
"Find the treasure,"
Mother whispers softly,
Her smile lingers.
Excitement bouncing effervescent
Like reflecting light.
I have waited
With childlike patience.
All the while
Concealing my gift.
Hide and seek.
Climbing Grandmother's counter
in footed pajamas
while everyone sleeps,
triumphantly reaching cabinet
with little bottles
like Mommy's Tupperware.
Finding candy inside:
like cereal prizes!
Pretty nurse smiles,
offers grape popsicle.
Corn kernels lay
In a puddle
On back porch
Spewed by friend
Laying in bed
"Want to play?"
I didn't understand
Why she lay
In that bed
Her dinner displayed
I'm not an
adorable fairy princess
smiling up at
my adoring parents.
I'm throwing up
on the playground
cutting myself with
a knife, and
crying until the
world stops spinning
Lonely, small, angry
confused and distraught.
Other children play,
instead I listen.
I sit inconspicuously,
at adults feet.
When they laugh.
When they whisper.
I take note,
Mommy's little sociopath
Waiting on Friday
(Before I knew
What days were)
For my sister
I hadn't seen
Ever. Mary Jane
Shoes swinging- one
Then the other.
And then--elevator.
Life changed forever.
