They teach us

"Don't do drugs"

In school.

But why don't they ever teach you

Not to need them in the first place?

I'm only fifteen

And already I crave

The carelessness that comes with alcohol and the

Buzz of mary jane

No, I've never tried them

But that doesn't mean a kid can't dream

Of a better tomorrow,

A better today,

A better yesterday.

I needed this yesterday.

I needed an escape from this hideous hell of a life.

I won't-

Scratch that,

I can't…

Make it to the end.

It's not worth my time, effort

Or the pain.

Sitting here alone--

Watching,

as the brightness of the sun is slowly covered by the moon,

I closed my eyes

Reminiscing--

The warmth of your fingertips as it caress may face

Tracing intricately all the details as if sketching and creating a masterpiece--

Tears slowly ran down my face

As i smell your musky and old spice scent which i love so much

The remaining scent that's left on the shirt that I've been hugging for years--

Heart aching for i know that all I can do is remember,

All is nothing but a memory

Sweet memories that keeps on breaking me each time i reminisce..

No one knows..

That despite the noise and laughter that surrounds me

I still cry silent tears for you..

A quiet ache

Beats in my heart

Why does it

Feel so painstakingly sharp?

Just like

The summer rain

Against the leaves

Beating harshly

Against the trees

The ocean flooding

Drowning in tears

Gone are my hopes

Here are my fears

Then the sun

Dries up the sea

Leaving me as dry

As dry can be

Just a broken

Shack of bones

Withered and lonely

Longing for home

Wishing for one

Who'll love me

Then maybe one day

I'll finally be free?

-

-

-

-

-

A quiet ache

Beats in my heart

Maybe you

Could make it start?

Wandering in

the abyss of silence

broken only by

endless fantasies of

’could have been’s.

Glimpse a fond

past that is no more.

whispers of voices

gone and already

forgotten.

Sigh a

hollow breath.

look up.

there’s nothing but

dark clouds from days to come.

Grasp the slivers of light

that glimmer about.

slips out between

cold fingers.

sprinkle

upon the frozen ground.

If light is hope

then i’m in the dark.

so no more

and walk on

away from everyone.

Leave me alone.

i don’t want to be found

none of you can help

so goodbye.

i’m going now.

This pain cultivates within me. This seed of sorrow buried deep in my soul roots itself in the soil of my emotions and sprouts in my heart. I am dying from the inside out. I am aching in every bone and every muscle of my body, and there is nothing that can fix me. Nothing can restore me from my brokenness. Nothing can sew back together where the fabric of my heart is torn. I suffer in silence, not letting anyone know my pain. But between every breath I take I am screaming internally. I scream so that someone will come and save me, but no one ever does.

Muffled

I hear groans as i toss and turn

Gently

the tears stroke my cheeks

I hastily wipe them away

"Are you weak"

Why does everyone leave

Why am I alone

Why do I push people away

What's wrong with me

I want to love so bad

But everyone has a trick up their sleeve

Everyone has trust issues which is the issue because it makes issues out of no issues.

I want to love him but he's not right for me.

Then what is

....What is right anyway

I try to avoid the pain that shoots through my chest.

That pain has become me.

I am broken

Waiting for the touch that burns,

Feeling nothing but the longing in that

Silent anticipation.

I hear you sliding in among

The shaded and cooling shadows of

That grey hall.

The floorboards creak and groan,

Screaming in warning of your passing

Leaving me to

Nurse the wounds and wait

Again for that touch that just won't

Come to me.

Wrapped in whispers and

Calling names that mean nothing to

You or I.

Wheeling in the misery of

Nothing but the walls we build for

Our own safety.

I speak a word, a shade

A ghost of what was and what could

Not have been.

Dying in that quiet ache.

I remember holding him in my arms when he was so small. He was my first real, true love. I never knew what love really was until that first time he slept on my chest.

I see him across the court room, head hung low. There is torture in my soul. We can not make eye contact. Shame fills the room.

Deep inside me I yearn to hold him. Anguish fills me from my head to toe.

My heart is throbbing. The heaviness in my chest puts my mind in distress.

To others he is a monster, a Villain and more.

To me he is my son.

Wandering around in the maze all night

The girl wants to make it out alive

A mansion of ghosts, a mansion of fears

So she ran into the night and dried her tears

Through the darkened hallways the lost girl tried to find

She flew through open doors lost for all time

Every boy and girl caught up within the lie

It's too sad to even cry, oh!

She suddenly grew wings

Feathery winters and darkness

Through the silent night the lost girl sings

Wearing a ruby dress

Through the darkened mansion she runs

Trying to save the ones she loves

"It'll be a secret to the world"

On and on into madness the lost girl twirls

She grasped the key within her hands

Locked away in coffins as the closing plan

She opened it up, and there it was

The thing to rescue the ones she loves

With a dagger held tightly in her palms

The lost girl tries to shed the shawl

That's covered her soul for all time

So all she showed was an entire lie

With one loud gasp she heaves down

Her role reduced to a scheming clown

And with a few whispered words, the girl is gone

But her "family" will live on and on

"To my friends, hear my final cry

To the ones I love, good....bye!"

--

Years later the ache still remains

The truth suddenly laid out so plain

She wasn't a villain, she's a hero

But now she's lying in a cold tombstone

As the curtain closes the pangs in the heart decrease

A night later the audience is laid at peace

Beneath the earth, the lost girl sighs

"They didn't hear my final goodbye"