to my former self
Wipe the tears from your face.
One day you'll be laughing as you remember why you cry. It's not as bad as you make it out to be.
But you should know this: you're too hard on yourself. You complicate the simplest things by doubting your ability to choose what's right.
You overthink and overcompensate for problems that never existed.
You don't need everyone's seal of approval to function in this world. It's actually impossible.
You're still young, and you have a lot of mistakes to make in order to get as far as I've gotten. But my darling, I beseech you:
Keep your head up. Do the right thing, even when it's hard. Learn to let go of your mistakes and let others make their own. You're never going to be perfect, but that's what makes you human.
Yes, keep wiping those tears, the ones blurring the view of the beautiful world outside. Wipe them away so you can get back out there and start living.
I Was A Lil Tot
I want you to scream. Yell at the top if your lungs and cover yourself in mud. Love yourself love yourself and you've always been beautiful. People were right when they said your eyes light up so bright. Love animals and love most human beings. You've always been different from the others. You always knew you were too. People have always liked you, you never fit with a specific "group" but everyone wanted you there. You bring joy to people, your parents, your brother, everyone. Most importantly yourself. Your imagination and mind are the most important things you have, and those never have slowed down. You're a big dreamer. Big ideas big future. You've always loved music, even before you knew how to even play music you had such a connection to it (you still do and you are absolutely in love with it) I love you. I've always loved you. Things get tough. And things get better. Life is a roller coaster. You taught me how to think and you are so incredible. One of the most incredible little tots I've ever seen. And I have the pleasure of being you. You're great. More than great, incredible.
-- older india
Note to my younger self-
I know that you'll hear these words and believe me because you have trust still embedded in you.
That's a gift.
You look deep into the world, looking for essences and vibrations in the humid night air.
Your teachers write things like "Angie is a good student but she spends too much time day dreaming."
You worry too much for your age, for any age.
You worry enough for us all.
It will ebb in time.
You'll learn some amazing things. You'll see beauty in ashes.
You'll make poetry and pot pies and people, 4 people to be exact.
Good job, you.
Dear young and lost,
Id love to tell you what to avoid in life,what you should definitely not do, or who you shouldn't be hanging around but, then you wouldn't become the person that you are today. Instead I'll give you a small glimpse of what your life will become.
You will chose a path that most would be too scared to walk on and because of this you'll walk alone. You'll run into some interesting folks along this route but try not to hang around them too long. You'll try to leave the path in which you've chosen, so you'll begin to run. Before you know it you'll stumble and fall harder than you've ever fallen. All you would have to do is get up, but you won't. You'll stay laying there full of pain for 9 gut wrenching years. Blaming everyone else for your fall, but never yourself. Even though, there were signs everywhere saying watch your step, which you chose to ignore. While lying there on the ground people will walk all over you. Not caring if they have hurt you because chances are they have been hurt too. Then something crazy will happen..you will just stand up. You then will realize you made it so hard for yourself for years and years and for no reason at all. This thought alone will make your feet slip up and you will almost fall again, but this time you'll be strong enough to catch yourself. You will then walk slowly and graciously to a new path. This path will feel weird at first because it will be much wider, blooming flowers all around you, and beautiful butterfly's will be all around you. You will experience life all over again and take everything in like you were reborn. It will be beautiful. I can promise you that much.
The older new you.
I'll be with you along every step of the way.
Look at you kiddo,
Still loving life
Reading is your number one passion
Being with your family is your favorite thing to do
Your innocence still intact
This cruel world hasn't corrupted you just yet
Now I'm not one for spoilers, so I'll just give you some advice:
Cherish these times,
Spend more time with your loved ones,
Be a little nicer,
Put more love into this world
Knowing you, you've barely paid attention to any of this
But just be ready for what's about to come next,
And don't ever let people trample over you
Stick up for yourself kid
And get ready to fight
Did you know
Dear Me, Did you know that you are a beautiful soul that deserves love from another beautiful soul. Did you know that you are smart..regardless of who says different..Did you know that your mom and Dad did love you despite of your rebellious nature .. Did you know you should have taken advantage of your youth..Did you know that you would realize after it was too late.
It's me, Rebecca. Don't make that mud lie for that boy... He will grow up in 10 years time and beat you and your children to an I inch of life.... Skip they pie that day on the porch and go play In the horse field instead. It will change your life.
Don't feel so ugly outside bc of your feelings inside... Ppl will see your weekends and use it against you every day you live in this world... Don't go to that house in 2000 where that man was waiting unbeknownst to you.... Turn the car around and take a raincheck.
In May 2 2011 take the children with you when you go to grocery store with you and don't leave them with husband... He will take them for 3 months and you will search the world to have to find them....... TAKE THEM TO THE STORE.
Call your brother and when he doesn't answer on jan 20 2013, drive to georgetown before he pulls he trigger and you lose him forever.... So many other things......... Mistakes.... Wrong turns...
Ps) 8 yr old me keep doors locked until you move out of home..... Keep ur innocents if possible.
HEED MY WORDS....
Coming of Age
Don't you ever doubt yourself
don't you ever allow the putrid glances you receive from others
ever dictate the person you are
or the person you will become,
open up your hands
and turn them towards the sky
one day you will receive a gift worth much more than your soul
but you'll have to suffer a few rainy days
before you realize it's true worth.
For a minute,
you'll wonder if the world is your enemy
and you'll hate people
but just wait
sometimes it takes a while before people can open their eyes
and finally see you
and stop bumping into your confidence
as it withers away.
you and I will reach Nirvana together,
I will hold your hand
so don't be scared to grow up
don't be afraid of dying
because life isn't the end-all-be-all
it's just a big ass obstacle we'll all get over
but never be able to tell anyone about.