Sick and weak I continued on to keep up the illusion of a competent professional. My recent stay in the hospital only further justified the fact that I was living poorly. Was it the food? Was it the Job? Was it the Stress? Yes. Out in LA LA land they only see the almighty dollar. Not the mouse turning the wheel to make it happen. Time off at this point wasn't a luxury but more necessity. Caring for myself hadn't ever a priority but the lack thereof for even a short period could lead to crippling pain. I’d already been talked to about this before though. So now it was serious and had to be written up. I could understand. In a town so hell bent on suing each other a company had to cover itself. The meeting was set to sign the papers. I always love putting my name to inaccuracy; the documentation of my lack of work ethic in this group of clowns. Had me on the technicality though. I decided to take a few calls before so I could get caught up with the scene. The first client startled me by asking a very personal question pertaining to my condition. “So did you get the diagnosis…is it Crohn’s? A relative of mine had a section of his intestine…” I had to stop them and explain how my personal condition was not a topic of discussion for their taxes and end the conversation. I was flabbergasted. How could the office give up that type of pertinent personal info? Had to get to the bottom of this. The detective work started at the bottom. The receptionist would know who spoke with the client in my brief absence. She did. It led all the way to the top…the owner. That fat slob of a financial professional had been using me as an excuse for the offices shortcomings. This made my tone for today’s meeting change. I went in there steaming. “Now, I am not going to oblige your request to document any defamation of my work ethic. Also consider this my resignation.” He was surprised. I continued on how this would go down without a lawsuit if he agreed to my conditional severance package. As much as it turned my stomach to submit to the level of using the courts, I knew the threat alone would motivate properly. It did and the benefits helped fund my escape from that literal gut-wrenching environment.

She told me I couldn't leave. She had done just about everything to help me stay clean,

but I wanted to keep at it some more. I kept sneaking around and sneaking it down. Spiking my drinks when she'd turn around. I held it down all to well. I wasn't good at many things, but I was good at holding my liquor. She trashed me, calling me nasty names and saying some lord's name in vain.

"You god damn drunk." Truth is I was never completely drunk nor was I ever fully sober. I guess she still had her points. I was so far stuck up my own ass to realize what I've missed. My first year of high school was such a blur. My friends were gone, and any family I had left wasn't around much. All too busy with work and my sister's crazy ways. Summer arrived and I was put into a recovery school for kids who needed to catch up. A nicer way of saying I failed. Not because I didn't know how to do the work, more of I just never did the work. I screwed up a lot in that past year but I straightened up and threw away all my stashes. I made it totally impossible for me to get anything of the sort. I isolated myself and then the withdraws kicked in. I took those pretty rough. Few months later I started to go out more and enjoy nature's finer things. Wanted to see how life was away from my bedroom. I ran into her again. It's been a while since we had talked. She offered me a drink and that's when I knew. She had no clue what demons were awaiting her. Who was I to tell, I didn't have mine anymore. Revenge had never looked so sweet.

Revenge is an evil thing

A shard of glass can rip through flesh,

A broken heart can kill the rest

Revenge is a sickly game

Each path can throw you into the maze

The twisting jungle can chase down your dreams

Make you fall from the sky with a flash and gleam

Who is she?

So full of anger?

................................................................................

A lipstick lays forgotten

On the floor in the bathroom

The cabinet filled with pills

With things that have the ability to murder

Overdose is an evil thing

Revenge slides into the pocket of guilt

Collapsing on the pavement at midnight

No one to watch his death

Revenge can destroy a person's life

The cigarette buds build up in the house of a girl

Who was waiting for her lover to come home

But he never came.

The banging of the judge's gavel

After he dismisses the murder of Gavin Blue

No more lawyers to call trial

No more justice to be handed out

She ran to her room

A flurry of tears

Marijuana hidden under her bed

Ready for when she was in distress

The smoke pours from the chimney

But this time it's not the fire from the wood

It's the fire that was in the girl

She burned letters and grabbed a cigar

Revenge is a deadly thing.

The house lay silent

The girl without moving

Heroin soon forgot her name.

Story-Iceberg- This poem is about a boy who cheated on a girl in order to go to another one that he claimed he "loved". The boy is described as "guilt". The girl he had left began to seek revenge on his new love, and secretly gave him an overdose. That way, he would never return home to the other girl. The girl who did this is tagged as "revenge" in the poem. The girl at home waited for his return, but soon found out about his death. Soon, she began taking drugs for its feeling of strength that it provided to her. After the judge dismissed the case, she went to her house and got an overdose herself. Finally, she found that the only way to meet her lover again was death. Heroin soon forgot her name signified that people kept on moving in life, using drugs, even with the known dangers and consequences. The house lay silent with suicide.