his fingertips traced

the constellations on her face;

soft as silk,

now he's fingering her wake.

they were like a merry-go-round,

circles, circles: nowhere bound.

'cuz she'd live and breathe

but still never make a sound.

he kissed the ghost

of her knuckles the most:

could almost hear her sing but she

loved love from other hosts.

white knuckles mistake this merry go round for a race track

silk ribbons wave in the wind but they're faded and melancholy

your fingertips trace my cheek as I breathe in and raise my chin

melodies I sing caress the air the way my father touched me

your hands match his and though it's been ages I smell his breath

as you kiss my neck and warmth

isn't a comfort it's a cruelty

The silk gown under her fingertips dragged along the dirt floor, but she didn't care. She leaped onto the moving merry-go-round and clutched the golden metal pole with all her might, the adrenaline coursing through her. This was the first time she'd done anything like that before, and as the realization dawned on her that she'd actually done it, Cara shut her eyes and pressed her lips to her knuckles.

"Are you alright?" a curious child to her left asked, and she turned to him.

"Yes, yes, I'm alright," she replied with a smile, but the young boy riding on the brown pony regarded her skeptically for a moment.

For the duration of a few seconds, all that could be heard was the chatter of the carnival guests and the music of the carousel, and she shut her eyes again, a slow smile spreading over her lips. She'd done it, she'd finally done it.

"Breathe," came the child's voice, causing Cara to turn to him questioningly.

"What?"

"Breathe," he answered patiently, "that's what my brother does when he does something exciting. He says that we should either breathe or sing or talk, anything that uses our lungs so that they don't freeze up like popsicles."

Cara released a warm laugh and let herself swing around the metal pole. Oh, she was breathing alright, and even if she was in the middle of thousands of people, she'd never felt so free.

My heart pounds so much I can't breathe anymore. My fingertips grasp the sliver of silk dressed on the ground.

I can see your knuckles turn white as you drift away to the broken merry-go-round creaking in the dark of the night, seemingly singing.

You can't.

You can't leave me, not now.

After all we've been through, all the things we've shared, you can't walk away like a cloud slipping through the black night sky.

It used to be dark blue, but now that there is hurt in the world in cannot remain.How could you?If you really are leaving, just remember, whats done is done, and there's no reversing.

Ever.

Her fingertips softly touched my lips. I couldn't breathe. My heart was pounding. Slowly she lifted my hand to her lips to kiss my knuckles. It was as though I could hear my heart sing. I knew in that moment that I was hers forever. I was ready to ride the roller coaster of love but it felt more like a merry-go-round. I was so dizzy. Was it from her love? I was unsure. But I knew in that moment I wanted to fall into the silk sheets of her bed. I knew then that I would never leave. I could never leave. No matter what she had done. Her past was hers. Her future was ours.