Transcript from a phone recording (re: challenges as a writer)
I used to think the biggest challenge I faced as a writer was whether to post "what is popular" versus to post "what is good." On Instagram, where I've been posting less and less, I know what will grab people's attention - but for the last two years, I've decided not to post a lot of that content.
"What is popular" is usually one of my sob stories, and what is "good" is also a sob story, but framed in a less "grab-your-attention" light. Recently, these lines have started to blur. I'm losing a lot of followers. But I know a lot of the people who follow me personally and it's hard to express myself fully within that context.
There's one person in particular, who, if you're reading this and know me as a writer and person and know who I'm talking about - yeah, I used to write about that person a lot. And it was like in a "feel my pain" kind of whiney way. I don't write about that person anymore. One, because I am tempted to post a lot of stuff to Instagram that is too personal to begin with, and two, because writing about that person makes me crazy. It takes me to a weird mental space. And I don't think anything gets accomplished writing about this person - my writing is sh*t when I do write about them.
If I've learned anything from posting to the internet, it's that anger doesn't translate well - it makes for bad writing. You sort of have to come into writing with a zen frame of mind.
Another challenge I face as a writer is stagnancy. I have already written the same thing twenty times, how do I spice it up? I've been writing more and more stuff offline under a pseudonym, with content that I think digs deeper. I think writing for sites like Instagram has made me water down so much of what I write, because again, I know people on that site, personally. In my writing under a pseudonym, I am actually free to be myself as a writer, and I have found that to be much more rewarding.
Another, final, challenge is - sometimes I post something I think is really, really good and get no likes or feedback (again, on Instagram). It makes me question who I am as a writer. I am not above saying this has sent me into many, many spirals. I don't feel seen. And I think, as a writer, we are all about being seen. That's the whole point. At least it is for me.
And finally, writing something people in the general population will see as "good" is completely arbitrary, and I do know that. It varies for everyone what "good" writing is. Take for example the many rejections you'll receive from various literary journals for one piece, and then someone huge picks it up. It could be luck, I guess, in that case - but just as much so, it's all about the audience you've selected to read your work. Audience is EVERYTHING as a writer.
I'm going to end this by saying that being a writer isn't easy. It's fun, but I have to be careful to not water stuff down too much, because it takes away from my "finesse." I love when I can just pour my heart out on the page and not have to worry about someone from high school reading my work and judging me. Because as much as I want to be "seen", I don't want to be "seen", you know?
And that is the final struggle.
The Writer
I've got people in my head
they won't let me forget
just where they
came from
One, he calls me "his best friend"
the other tells me when I can
I should
run
Help! They're going to take me!
And you will all mistake me
for insane!
Help! they're going to keep me!
And I'll forget
I tried to get
away...
There are people in my dreams
they love me unconditionally
I'm starting to think
that's not
a good thing
They must suffer; I must sleep-
and somewhere in
their hearts,
I think they
blame me
Baby, tell me what it means
to be hated by your creator?
They love you, but they
kind of want you
dead
Maybe God isn't what he seems?
Maybe He's a writer
and this was always how
it had
to
End
It had to end.
There are people
in my head they won't let me forget
just where they
came from
One, he calls me-
his best friend, the other,
tells me "when I can,
I should" run
Alright, Time To Get Writing....
Alright, it is a new year, time to get back into writing again! Now for a writing idea.....
.....
.....
.....
..... I said, a writing idea!
....
....
....
.... C'mon, think of something! Anything? Please?
*****
Alright, time to write something, here we go!
*Notification from iHeart app that my favorite college basketball team's radio broadcast just started*
No problem, I'll write after the game!
*****
I finally have some time on my hands, time to write!
*Observes the family TV being available*
Wow, what a great opportunity to play a video game, I'll write after that!
*Games all day*
*****
Today is the day, when my work day ends I am going to write!
*Work day ends*
I'm tired, I'll write first thing in the morning!
*Sets an early morning alarm before going to sleep*
*Alarm goes off*
I'm beat, I'll write tonight instead!
*****
OK, this story idea has been floating around in my head for months, time to get it written already!
*Starts writing story*
Why isn't this coming out as good as it sounded in my head? *sobs*
*****
I know there's more examples I could write about, but I can't think of any right now. I'm sure I will once this has already been submitted!
Writer’s Block
The biggest challenge as a writer, I find, is writer's block.
I do not mean to turn anybody off writing; it is a creative and, sometimes, even a lucrative, hobby. The more competitions you enter, the higher your chances of winning a prize, even it if is not the top prize. You may even decide to take up writing for a living, i.e. enter into a publishing contract and earn quite a fortune.
Writer's block is the nuisance which hinders you.
Today I am writing, but there are days when I visit this website and stare blankly at the screen. No inspiration comes to me. I so badly want to enter into competitions but my mind goes blank. I wish that I could kickstart myself into being able to write every day but, most days, I cannot. I wish that I could get out of this dilemma.