Ouch Ouch Gold Medal
The perfect new Olympic endurance sport would incorporate a track that is approximately 1 meter wide by 100 meters long covered in Legos of various size and shapes. The competitors would then walk barefoot on the Lego covered track. The competitor who makes it the farthest wins. It would definitely be more interesting than the winter Olympic sport, curling.
The sport I have in mind, whilst requiring real athletes, I think would truly be just as comical. Essentially it is a guessing competition, each country willing to compete must send in two or more athletes, with the correct skills for one particular event. For example, one country might send in seven Olympic level netballers, the catch is however that no one knows which sport is going to be chosen until the event. Therefore, you may have five pro wrestlers attempting a swimming race, or two gymnasts attempting a horse-riding race.
Equipment would of course be provided to the participants however it is unlikely they would be trained in the specific sport.
Of course, you could do this with non-athletes however, athletes who specialise in certain areas, might be even more amusing.
And of course, you may get a scenario where the sport picked is say a team sport, such as netball and one country sent in only two athletes, technically they would still have to play, which would be rather interesting to watch.
Of course, athletes would have the option to opt out, but then they'd be missing out on the fun. Heh.
Drunk Shooting — a Shot for a Shot
Shooting was made an official Olympic sport when it debuted in 1896. Is it any wonder that the country with the most homicides by gun is the one which has garnered the most medals? Our way of life certainly makes it unfair for other, i.e., gun-unfriendly, countries.
Drunk shooting solves this inequity in a most sporting — and entertaining — way. As a handicap, the American shooters must take a shot (no pun intended) between each, well, shot they take. The alcoholic beverage must be either whiskey, tequila, or vodka.
As a safeguard, audience attendance must include a mandatory release form for accidental injury. The bronze, silver, and gold medalists will then compete in a sudden-death shooting match substituting PCP for the alcohol.