the spaces in between are the most suffocating

when i think you hate me as much i love you

when i think i've become suffocating

your great black lake waiting for you to come home

when i feel more trouble than i'm worth

your deep blue ocean pulling you in when you're cold

drenched and glacial and past exhausted

i didn't mean to drown you

i was just scared you would love the air

so much more than me

Love that s(mothers) you--does so--by denying inspi(ration)

The sum less than the adding of the al(locations)

Which goes beyond ex(changing) put-on airs

Having no inspi(ration) to create--or pro(create)--theirs

A s(mothering) love causes only stale air ex(change)

To(get)(her) or not--it's false and e(strang)ed

Until you can('t) take it any(more), sur(render) to the fire

And give up on venting and s(imply) ex(pyre)

like any other addiction, it slowly kills you

your heroine flits through the blood in your chest

and bangs against your ribcage causing blood to fill in the lungs

and you cough, spit it out, and take it again

and again,

pretty soon it's all you know and all you think you need

despite the fact that you no longer recognize your face,

it's red and puffed up and makes a mask of shame

because you let it breathe for you

so your heart stops when it's not around.

so one day in a drunken stupor, you look over

and notice how much you are giving

while all the time there is a black hole sitting

on your couch devouring everything

and punishing you for what it decides you aren't giving it.

So it's enough and you rip out the IV

and it bleeds for a while, might I add,

not painlessly,

but you notice that you gasp for air while you're crying

and you can finally breathe again.

And this temptress

of the night –

oh, how she soars in!

An incubus to

this wretched man’s soul.

Hovering,

she breathes,

and his dull breath

comes to life.

Caressing his flesh,

she moans.

And in his hollow ache,

he permits.

A siren to beauty –

she’s arrived as sin.

A pleasure to behold

but a curse she will lay upon you.

And in his prime,

this man wails –

but too late it is.

For the spirit of this man

now lays suffocated between the ribbed cage

of that sultry temptress.

Forever now to be hers.

Never to escape.

My heart screams in pain as it throbs,

The feeling unsilenced by my sobs.

My mind shouts thoughts of love,

Only to be drowned by fear , not enough.

My sould aches to bursting,

Am I the only one thirsting?

Can nobody feel me?

Can nobody see?

A seed without water,

Will nobody bother?

Living without,

Inside this drought.

My salty tears don't do,

I feel I'm screaming,

but it's just a whisper to you.

HRH

you wanted a relationship where we would both make each other worse

and damn, if that wasn’t something that we were good at

thrown together like magnets

polar opposites

impossible to pull apart

but I dripped anger

and you spilled lies

and I burned the love letter you wrote me

but my favorite compliment is still the first line

when you called me intelligent and intimidating

and I realized that I’ve never felt more seen

but we’ve both learned to spit daggers

our words sharp

we love the fight more than each other

But you’ve never let me steam roll you

and it means that I won’t leave

I can't breathe

because I love her

but she's a gold-digger

And now I don't have money for my inhaler

We're just friends but she's been mooching

Now I'm gonna confront her and stop smooching

her bum

But not before I get an inhaler.

Then I'll be the suffocator

Causing asphyxiation with words.

We'll make an agreement as usual

But this time I'll hold her neck to it.