Moments of Duh
I entered this room with a purpose
Perhaps the thought of why will somehow resurface
The word was just on the tip of my tongue, if I can be frank
I just went totally blank.
If you happen to see my car keys
Could you let me know please?
Pardon me if you will, I need to go find
Just where the hell I left my ever-loving mind.
Oh, and sure I will have fries with that......
Just 10 More Minutes, Please
You have agitated my patience, my love
please, just a few more moments for myself here.
calm your cries and play some games,
I’m really getting to the good part here.
The doorbell now?
There are unexpected guests and now
mom’s calling randomly just to check in.
One day, me, one day I will find the time for myself
to keep my nose steady in reading this book. Uninterrupted.
I lay awake in bed, Staring into nothingness.
The feeling of loneliness, takes over me
And I start remembering things
I don't want to, Making me collapse down to my feet.
The overwhelming feeling of living up to their expectations
Beats me down, by the second
I try and try But it feels useless
School isn't what is used to be
And being a role model for someone else,
when you're struggling yourself is hard.
I take a deep breath, Wipe my face off,
say goodbye to my parents
As if i wasn't just bawling my eyes off
10 minutes ago and head out the door.
Thoughts start to arise in my head.
I look back at my house
Knowing I can't leave my anxiety there.
Dreading to leave, I cross the street and wait
I step onto the bus, feeling anxious that I have to be
In an uncomforting place. So I put my headphones on and
Drown everyone out with base. Most people don't understand
what it's like,Major anxiety crawling through my veins
Stabbing me like a knife It spreads through my thoughts
Like a disease. Walking through the school halls,
Receiving dirty looks, Random stairs
And getting talked down to, like i'm lesser than everyone
Makes me paranoid to ever Walk inside school again.
The routine ever stops.
I don't want to die today,
not like this -
on I-65 with the black exhaust
of Bubba trucks making my blood congeal
on asphalt seamed with tar and white paint.
If I'm going to die,
let it be somewhere green
while a soft breeze turns the pages of my
let it by while I'm holding my dog and whispering
my final words into his ear.
I want to say this to the cars drag-racing their
way to work this morning.
"I don't want to die here on an interstate of strangers."
But, they don't listen, even when I blare my horn
as one of them cuts me off and I miss clipping his
bumper by mere kisses of space.
soap & sobs.
The shower is cool,
My head is hot.
My breath is begging,
It wants to wail murder.
Apparently, it's not socially acceptable.
I'll settle for this soft onslaught of water,
This snail trail of bubbles.
I can hardly remember,
What birthed this loathing,
This huddle halted in my throat.
The little baby crying?
The lady yelling?
The lack of parking?
Crap, I've been brooding not bathing.
My water bill.
I need to start lathering.
I snag the soap from the shower sill.
It squirms in my wrinkling fingers,
It smiles in pink suds and slithers out.
The knot is rising.
It's sitting at the back of my tongue.
Don't let it out.
I bend down to pick up the soap.
It's sly; it slips again.
The knot is at my teeth.
And it's learned a silly trick.
It slips through the cracks of my clenched grinding,
An escaped convict.
My knees hit slick white ceramic.
I silently scream.
Mouth wide open.
The white porcelain walls are watching.
My storms are now scalding.
The cold water isn't helping.
I can't tell the tears from the shower- still spraying.
The knot is gone.
To hell with the water bill.
7 AM, woke up late
the next 10 minutes will decide my fate
I know that I won't get to work on time
but I'm rushing to get on the road.
Glasses aren't where I left them last night
and my keys are in the other room,
I'm brushing my teeth and ordering breakfast
the clock's ticking down to my doom.
Pants on, shirt buttoned
hands full with no lunch in them
I forgot to grab my phone again
so I run back inside, 7:05.
keys in my pocket
drop my coffee
get in the car
covered in coffee
and it's Wednesday.
Janey didn’t take shit from anyone, but, as she always asserted, she didn’t like being an asshole either.
It was a beautiful spring day at the end of May as she rounded the corner to turn right, she banked a little too wide and ended up in the middle of the sidestreet, where she saw the biker coming down the middle as well. She corrected her course to the right to allow the biker more room. The biker moved over as well to his side. As she passed the biker, she smiled to further the kind courtesy shared by those who share the road. The biker gave her a horrible entitled face that nearly yelled, “You better move over. I’m a biker and have priority over you, gas-guzzling bitch.”
Janey turned sharply to the left in a mock attempt to hit him. The biker’s face immediately changed from one of smugliness to one of horror as he jerked his bike away in horror. Janey made sure that he hadn’t crashed before she erupted into laughter.
“What now, douchebag?” said Janey to her rear view mirror, “What now?”