Just because something doesn't exist, it doesn't mean you shouldn't believe in it:

"Do Believe"

I do, I do

I do believe in fairies

And fairy glades

And fairy wings

And lots of other fairy things

I do, I do,

I do believe in fairies.

And Santa Claus,

Yes I believe,

Is magical

For who would leave

My presents round the Christmas Tree

But Father  Christmas

Just for me.

And leprechauns, enchanted elves,

I do believe are casting spells

And witches, wizards,

It's all true

I do believe

And so should you.

For what is life

Unmagical but something rather tragical,

So do believe in what I say.

Don't let the magic

Go away.

It's because I'm shy

and don't talk much,

throughout my life

that's been a struggle.

But I hope that I

never forget:

I can do all things

through Christ who

strengthens me.

I'm only able to do

this because He

through me hearing

this verse has

encouraged me.

I was having a hard time with a friend. She had been my friend for about three and a half years and our parents were friends. I had many other friends that we shared.

I told my sister that I was struggling, and she told me words I try to remember, "Your mental health is more important that maintaining that friendship."

With her help I left that toxic friendship, it was a long upsetting road. In the end I left that friendship and was forced to leave many more as well.

But it was worth it.

I find it funny

that the words that I never want to forget

are the ones I was never supposed to hear.

I was in the hospital,

getting ready to have another surgery.

I was no stranger to hospitals at this point in my life,

having had a major surgery just a couple of years before.

I remember my pastor at the time,

coming in to offer prayers and support during this confusing and difficult time.

As a child, I felt a little embarrassed having all these people around

so I tried to fall asleep while the grown-ups chatted.

I remember hearing them talk about me,

thinking I couldn't hear.

The pastor was talking about how hard this was for me

and how I had been through so much.

And my dad responded,

telling him that I was brave.

My dad is not the type to be sentimental

or to compliment.

But that made me feel invincible.

That my grown father

thought a kid like me,

his daughter,

was brave.

When I was little my brother used to give me life lesson lectures all the time. Constantly. Mostly I just tuned out, but I understood everything he said. He had a tendency to repeat himself a lot also.

One thing he said that I will never forget is when making affirmative statements it is always a shot in the foot to say words such as can't, won't, and no. "I won't yell again", or "No more of that", or, "I am not this person", or "I can't do this again or I will get in trouble."

I later learned that it was indeed very helpful to not put any negative connotations with positive affirmation statements for bettering oneself.

During middle school there was an incident that changed the way people who knew me looked at me and the way I looked at myself. In class one day, a bully was arguing with my best friend. They kept arguing until the bully thought it would be funny to go over and push my friend to the ground. The second he laid a hand on my friend I took action and went into a blind rage. I threw several very large books, my binder, and my lunchbox at the kid. He deflected a couple of them and luckily wasn't hurt and neither was anyone else. I suppose I was just lucky that I had terrible aim. I was escorted out of the classroom and the entire time I never said a word, it was like I was looking from a distance in another body. I honestly didn't fully comprehend that I had made any of those movements, but it was clear that I had a rage problem. Word got around and I was the joke of the entire school and it also seemed like most people were quite scared of me too. I was ridiculed, belittled, and condescended to by counselors and teachers for the remainder of my time at the school.

Upon coming home that day, my dad sat me down at the dinner table and gave me a very important lecture. He told me that we had to fix this problem and fix it immediately. He told me to write a list of statements, positive affirmations, concerning my problem and he told me not to use words like can't, won't, no, and not just like my brother told me. He told me to read these statements out loud and believe them in that moment once before I go to school and once before I go to bed every night.

After three months of doing this routine, I found that I would not get angry in the same way. It was as if I had completely manipulated my mind into becoming another person. People were still mean to me all the time like always and bullies would still bully me, but it never had the same effect again. I would just walk away or ignore them. I would never let the bullies win again. Below I will include a couple of my positive affirmations from that list.

I will be a happy person today and have an excellent day.

I love school and I have lots of friends.

They do say after all, that if you tell a lie a thousand times, it becomes the truth.