I'm Sorry.

I forgot

I cannot

I did not

I could not

I missed

I messed

I misled

I mistook

I think being okay is best defined as having faith in your ability to make it to the other side. Nothing lasts forever and nothing stays the same, so the goal becomes not 'happily ever after' but 'happy for as long as possible, sad for as little as possible'. It's the knowledge that you've survived every single one of the worst days of your life, and that you will continue to survive them. It is approaching another dip in the road not with the idea that it's going to suck, but the idea that it's going to pass. Sure, you might have to work to get out of the rut, but you've done it before and you can do it again.

I firmly believe that I'm capable of climbing out of my depressive slumps; so, I'm okay.

Is it okay with you

if I tell everyone I'm with you?

Is it okay with you

if I tell everyone we're true?

Is it okay with you

if I tell everyone we're through?

Is it okay to say...

to everyone all that we've been through?

this is ok

it's mid

there is nothing but "mid"ness

he likes hockey and tea and anime and this other girl named laura

that is factual

he laughs like the sun and walks like poetry and exists as if petrichor is exhaling and hiccuped a little, rolled the leftover rings from saturn into a person and dashed on a coat of lines for him

but that

that is not factual

that is how i perceived him

how my energy and my love and my high or serotonin made him seem

he is

yes, he is that person,

but he is also

just

ordinary

and there is beauty in that

there's specialness in being ordinary

there's something incredibly poetic about finding such overwhelming beauty in the mundane

and i'm not trying to say he's not special

or wonderful

or just. everything,

he is

but he's also ordinary

he's average

mediocre

so am i

and i really don't mind

this is not meant as an insult

it's simply to say

he's ordinary

and himself

and that's ok

Okay is a word to describe that what we feel is between fine and bad, a survival word for those who are secretly depressed, a word for those who want to hide how they feel because they have this feeling that no one is interested to their shit. Okay is a word that can destroy you within minutes, without realizing it!

There‘s a song by the Beatles. One line, or lyric, says:

”… He blew his mind out in a car

He didn't notice that the lights had changed”

There’s something romantic about this if you feel a certain way.

They always have an automated voice recording when you call a health center: “If you think you or someone else is experiencing a life-threatening or psychiatric emergency, please call…”

But when does it become an emergency?

What color do the traffic lights have to be?

Sometimes, it is okay to feel a certain way. But please wait for the light to change.

okay is the acceptance of the acceptable and is often what we say when faced with the bare minimum that life has to offer without doing much to change or alter the experience because we either don't care that much, or the work required to express our true feelings outweighs the potential positives of our honesty.

Okay brushes off the genuine experience and whittles it down into a socially palatable response that others need not think about. We hear that something or someone is okay and immediately accept that as fact, knowing full well that we never mean it, in order to preserve our empathy for something more important or self serving.

Okay is a lie, or it is thoughtless.

Nothing is okay, except for Oklahoma.