1) If you have problems with your Internet connection, please email to: Support@xxxxx.xom
2)Packet of peanuts with a note on it saying "Warning! May contain traces of peanuts." (I hope so!)
3)Baby pram with warning:"Please remove baby before folding."
4)Proof of ID to open a bank account includes:"letter from your bank".
5)Warning inside children's medicine (Calpol):"Do not drive after taking medicine".
6)To get a spousal visa to UK you need to "prove" you have known your wife for more than 2 years!
7)It is easier to get into the UK as an illegal immigrant than as a legal immigrant. No paperwork is required. Just jump in a boat, sail into international waters off France (5km) and call up the UK coastguard/RNLI and ask them to come and rescue you!
8)Who invented 'Captcha' as a security device? How many crossings/lampposts are there? Why are the pictures so difficult and ambiguous?
9)Using a multiple choice test to select Judges (or anything above primary school maths!).
10)Who invented quotas? Whatever happened to selecting the best person for the job?
11)Who said 'all degrees are equally valuable"? They lied.
12)Whoever said that we should learn the "3 R's" needs to go back to school (Reading, writing and Arithmetic).