On bended knee
It was February 3, 2018, I loved her so. I already had the ring in my pocket and scared out of my mind. I kept telling myself in the tasting room of that vineyard as we tried every wine on the shelf. It helped to calm my nerves. "God, is this your will for my life?" I asked several times, without any answer as I glanced outside, watched the vines swing with the winter wind. "If I can get her outside alone, a perfect time to propose marriage to my beloved Laura."
Just then out of her mouth. "Let us go outside and collect cuttings from the vineyard, we can plant back at my home and grow our own grapes." She was even more beautiful when she talked about things we love together.
All of the fear and doubts that I had about us, vanished. I knew this was a door wide open. For everystep that I took forward, two opened up by themselves.
Laura gracefully, was in the vineyard ahead of me as I fumbled with the ring in my coat pocket. The fear returned with a vengeance. I had never been more scared in my life. "Twenty seconds of courage Will." That was all I could do to pump myself up, in a vineyard in Grapevine, Texas.
Without anymore hesitation, I just got on one knee and said some words that I do not remember saying. Laura's eyes widened as she jumped up and down. "Yes! Yes!" She kept saying as I put the ring on her finger. My mind was in a cloud, but bliss I found.
Things that give me blisss. The smell of crisp mountain air in the morning. A forest trail with moss hanging from the trees. A hiking trail to a waterfall or mountain lake. These are a few or my favorite things. Anytime you just need to unplug and get your head right. When those times arise I go hiking. There is something healing for my soul to be in nature. Having a bad day got for a hike.
Bliss is open country with neither hide nor hair of mankind.
Bliss is in the forest, striding beneath the trees, wandering along babbling brooks.
Bliss is in the mountains, clambering over rocks and scree.
Bliss is in the sea, swimming amongst the chromatic corals and iridescent scales.
Bliss is the flames, crackling and biting about the fallen timbers in the hearth.
Bliss is freedom, roaming the wild places while they are yet free.
the wind that flickers tears off my face
the wind that strokes particles of my hair softly
the wind that simply calms me
when the wind ruffles my hair
it is like an affirmation that
everything will be alright
the city lights of downtown la
the sweaty hands, anxious of driving at night
the longing of wanting to go home
as the wind pushes me to where i belong
i remember the wind
the bliss that the wind brings
A spring breeze cradles the hair on my arm
Birds greet a shining sun with a melodious song
I get a message from friend not seen in so long
As I read it I sip cocoa to brush away the chill
At a bakery wafting joy through crisp morning air
It's a tonic to the doldrums, to light the way
And remind my grumpy self to cherish the day
I woke up to the pounding headache that refused to lay off. I was kept on the brink of consciousness throughout the night and only knowing I was asleep because of the strange repetitiveness of my dream (I think I kept checking the same post on Instagram?). The red lights of my alarm clock flashed: 6:02. I hadn’t been awake this early since school was still going on. I missed the mornings, and maybe even school.
I brushed open the curtains, my eyes squinting because of the brightness. It took me a few moments to adjust, but I finally saw it. In that moment I only remembered the wide open possibilities I had when I was a kid. The millions of choices that were mine to make.
The sunrise was here, and just one word stuck in my mind: forever.