The goal of my thesis was to discover the answer to the age old question, “When I injure my hand, do I feel the pain in my hand, or does the pain actually register in my head?”

So I laid my left hand on the table and swung the hammer as hard as I could, striking the middle finger a solid blow. It took a good second before I could scientifically say I felt anything at all. It occurred to me in that singular moment that the reason for the time lapse was due to the pain having to travel through the nerves from the alarmed fingertip to the unaware brain. I was on to something!

So, with hopes of stopping that flow of pain-signaling neurons from reaching my brain, I delivered another ringing hammer blow to the side of my head. This worked, as the pain in my hand immediately dissipated! Eureka!

Unfortunately, when I awoke I could not remember the outcomes, and realized I would have to start my experimentations all over again.

This time though, I think I will video tape it so that future generations can see the results.

Pain can wake you up.

Pain can shut you down.

It can fill you with manic energy.

Or leave you so exhausted you can’t think.

It can be fast and jarring.

Or slow and agonizing.

Fueled with numbing adrenaline.

Or nerves firing with the slightest move.

It can make you feel strong.

It can make you feel weak.

It is a double-edged blade.

pain is when you're surrounded by feelings-

the sadness

and

the happiness

and every little

experience in between-

the memories,

close and distant,

drifting like feathers

on the wind

poised to land

on an empty ocean,

it's all there,

too little,

too much-

standing on the horizon, completely

a

l

o

n

e

We all at times

shed the tears of true pain

yes they’re bitter,

they’re potent

and they’re real

but we do not give in

for there’s always a hope

to transform

to redeem,

and to heal.

So take hold of the reins

do not succumb!

for true pain never dies

it sleepeth ...

crying into a pillow

wishing it was a real person

hoping that lightning strikes you

before you wake up

desperate for pain

begging to be set free

wishing i had a knife

to sever my arteries

but anything will do

all i want is for pain to

rip into my flesh

i deserve to suffer

for all the things i've done

so why are my limbs frozen

why can't i get out of bed

some outside force is begging

for me not to cut my skin

not to sever ties with sanity

and dance in the darkness within.

i lay frozen in my bed

wishing for pain

but unable to move

praying for company

but forever alone.

This love is starting to hurt me now.

I don’t want to feel it at all.

I ignored the warning sign telling me I was going to fall.

Now I’m back in this place in a game with someone I can’t win.

This time the pain is immense, I don’t ever want to feel it again.

Pain to me is watching the world we live in fall into pieces. We live here yet we fight over things, things that don't need to be fought over. There is a lot less respect these days, which everyone should have. Even though we disagree, have different thoughts, do different things, live differently, doesn't mean that we can't respect the one beside us. We have started looking at humans as what they do, how the act. We don't look and see what makes them HUMAN any more! Think of someone you don't like, what do you think about? YES, THE ROBOTIC THINGS THEY DO, THE WAY THEY ACT! But what you don't see, hardly anyone sees anymore, except those lucky few who want to change the world, you don't see what they are really like. Change your mindset, wonder instead, "they are human, they probably have loved ones just like you, who they would do anything for, maybe late at night they walk into their youngest daughters room and give them a kiss goodnight. Maybe they think, "All I want is for everyone to see the world the same way, so my children can be safe." But then the next day and the next they go to work for take care of their family yet your dislike for them fuels something more, making them more miserable and miserable until they can hardly eat or sleep. That is what my pain feels like. I watch and I see and I know that this world will keep changing yet I know it will never be perfect because we have so many different and awesome people in this country who all do different things, believe in different things. Some might think of pain as a prick in the elbow but deep down inside how do you want the world to turn out? Do you want to continue to dislike your nextdoor neighbor for not fixing their fence and letting their dogs get into your yard and ruin things? Maybe they don't have the money to fix the gates, maybe they are too sick to stop their jobs. Maybe SOMEONE MADE THEM TOO DEPRESSED TO DO ANYTHING. Fix the fence instead, do something nice for them, it is your fence too if it borders your yard. Pain is harsh and pain is cruel but there will be less of it if we can all agree more. It can also fix the physical pain. You fix the fence for your neighbor, their dogs don't get cut on the sharp edges, you pick up your trash instead of throwing it into someone else's yard as you drive by, so their kids dont fall on it and get hurt or dirty, you leave a gift for your sick friend during christmas so they don't stay in the hospital wasting away. Do something nice, think of the person beside you as a HUMAN not a ROBOT.

When I look into her eyes

And they lack the light they once held

Laughter now replaced with sighs

I know her love is felled

Yet I know I feel the same

As I did when we first met

I don't know who's to blame

All I feel is regret

That summer's love has died in winter

And her loves last embers now burn out

While my heart's fire rages ever more

My love is still devout

Knowing that the one you love

Will soon choose to leave your life

No greater pain can sting above

No greater burning emotional strife

Yet in pain I feel alive

As I do in love

I take them both and I survive

Feelings are what life is made of

And to experience them is to thrive

It's better to feel even sorrow

Than to live each day devoid of feeling

Each day just the last's tomorrow

And even though it leaves me reeling

The bitterness of pain

Makes new happiness even sweeter

Though it may sound insane

It's better to feel pain than nothing