Well...I’m not really a comedian, but this looked fun. So, here we go. ~ GLD

* * * * * * * * * *

Little Rita the Laugher

Was a funny little tot

She laughed at everything

And whatnot

Her parents were in despair

They did not know what to do

For how do you discipline a laughing child

How to make the first move

They tried everything

And even more

But their attempts were met with laughter

And they were left despaired

When they tried to teach her how to eat

Yes, eat all her veggies and meat

She smiled at them, finding it funny

And then laughed as she dug her hands into the food

She didn’t want to use a fork

She didn’t want to use a spoon

They taught her as best they could

But the food still was scooped in by hand

When she broke Mama’s favourite vase

She stood among the shattered glass

She smiled in bewilderment

And then burst out laughing, till the tears rolled

Mama preached for a very long time

But lil’ Rita did not stop or sober

She just kept on laughing

Falling weakly into Mama’s arms

Well, Papa decided she needed a spanking

But he barely even touched her

Before she burst out laughing

And what else was there to be done

It did not stop here

It seemed to just get worse

When one looked at her disregard for safety

Or her treatment of her siblings

She crossed a road

Without ever glancing sideways once

She danced over the pavement

Laughing out giddily

Mama’s nerves became shattered

She would lose her little girl

For cars didn’t always stop

When they oughta

Papa told his little girl to never play with knives

But one morning he came into the kitchen

And there was Rita

Fiddling with a serrated-edged knife

She made it dance with a fork

And then she slipped off the table

Papa screamed in fear

But when he reached her, she was laughing

The knife had struck her soft cheek

And blood was spurting out

But the little girl did not seem bothered by the pain

Instead, she seemed to take pleasure in it

Papa and Mama got very worried

And decided to consult a doctor

But when in the car

They quickly learned her sibling treatment

Her big brother was listening to his music

When she grabbed and pulled out his earphones

Laughing as she stuffed it into her own ears

To his chagrin, she clung to it like honey

Her baby brother screamed to her other side

And she rushed to shush him up

Giggling over his face

She stared down at him with a twinkle in the eye

Suddenly, she started laughing and laughing

Her brothers stared at her in horror

For it turned maniacal in no time

And she turned blue

Well...Until she passed out

...

.....

.......

So, the doctor finally gave his diagnosis

As Rita the Laugher lay in the big bed

Her black hair stood out starkly

Against the white bed

Her face was pale

But a smile hovered round her lips

As tears squeezed out from underneath her closed eyes

She was lying at death’s door

The doctor said she struggled with a condition

It was some bug in her brain

It made her want to laugh all the time

Even when she had to take things seriously

Yes, she seemed like a little demon

But, really, she was just trying in her own way

And in reality,

It wasn’t her fault

Her family spoke the language of the world

Doom and gloom

And lil’ Rita spoke the language of another dimension

One of happiness and joy

No sad tear could ever cross her face

Because she didn’t understand sadness

And all those odd things she did

Was just a result of things she couldn’t do or understand

She was allergic to forks and spoons

And she was unable to comprehend

That people were in a hurry

And didn’t have all the time in the world

She was unable to understand that she annoyed her brothers

For in her mind it was all just a bit of teasing

So, they found her to be a piece of hell

But she really was just trying to bond with them

No, Rita would be fine

Give her a week

And she would be back at home

Ready to laugh at everything

But, after that day

Rita laughed a little less

Instead, she resorted to smiling

Lots and lots of smiling

And when Mama told Papa she didn’t understand why

Lil’ Rita suddenly piped up and said,

“I’m twoo shkaird fo laufin

Cosh’I almoth died laufin”

“Buth, I’m shtill shmileng

Cosh’I don’t wanth

All o’ you twoo be shad”

* * * * * * * * * *

What nonsense I can come up with sometimes...Oh well, maybe there’s something wrong with my brain too. :P

I told my husband that I just knew I had written the check to pay the light bill! I had. It was written, sealed in the addressed envelope, and stamped; and still in my purse!

I jumped out to run in at the holding area on set for the t.v. show Nashville. I was borderline late. I would be an extra for the umpteenth time. I evidently hadn't zipped my suit holder bag, for people started hollering at me that I was dropping things! I picked up a shirt here and a hanger there, but hadn't even seen my necklace. A member of the crew found me, held out a necklace he'd found, and asked if it was mine. I sure thanked him!

I was making a cake as a kid when about half an eggshell fell into the batter. I figured I could just crush it up really well with the beaters. (Wrong!) My dad dubbed it "the expectant cake". With every bite, you expected you'd get a bit of eggshell!

I went to a 2 story office building for the first time. I was borderline running late (again, yeah!). The doctor's office I was looking for was on the second floor. An outside door was propped open. So I went in, up the staircase, opened the door at the top, and went in. I was in what I think was an alcove between patient rooms in a different doctor's office. I wandered around until I came to the receptionist area. She, the receptionist, obviously hadn't laid eyes on me before. She looked at me as if she'd seen a ghost! I looked at her the same way, dashed through the waiting room, and left! (I hope you feel less lonely.) ;)

Walking down the stone steps of my apartment complex. I reach the sidewalk, looking up in the sky; it’s a crappy day. On the way to my destination, which I’m not exactly sure where he even is, I think its on the corner of Baker and Washington Ave.  Every step I take I grow worrisome. Wondering if I have enough money and if I’m having a bad hair day. My mind is all over the place. I’m trying to focus on how to get there, what will he charge me, and is his product good?

I recently moved to this city. My friend Sean has been helping me get adjusted. But my adventure today wasn’t Sean’s doing. I’ve had to ask around for this, and finally got the word. But I’m trusting a stranger’s word, and risk giving up the only crumpled up $10 bill in my pocket.

Each step taking me closer. I take a right onto Washington Ave, and I can see the corner. My steps however grew shorter as I scanned the area. Businessmen and women on their way to work passing like traffic on a highway. A coffee shop, caught me off guard, the smell attracted me. Thinking that I haven’t had my morning coffee. There goes my mind wondering again. But I snapped out of it and stayed on course, which by this time I was approaching my destination. Double-checking my phone to see the text message with the address. Low and behold, I made it.

I walk up to the man on the corner. Extending my reach I give him the crumpled currency in my hand. He then proceeds to wrap the product in that clear plastic baggy you get from the grocery store, not a grocery bag, but those ones you wrap vegetables in. It’s a fast exchange. And I’m on the way back to the apartment. I open the bag to inspect. Looks good to me, I guess, I mean what can I say its my first time buying produce from a corner market.

Annie said: "An' 'ee pushed 'er off a cliff"!

Beanca asked me to be her anchor

Carly drove her car into Lee the other day!

Debbie stop being a downer!

Everlyn promised me forever Lynn!

Frank was very frank with us today

Grace make sure you say grace

Hayden, don't forget to say hey to Den

Ivy, that girl is poison

Jay isn't a person he's a letter

Katy's favourite letters are K and T

Luke was lukewarm yesterday

Maddie was so mad at me yesterday

Nancy said: "Nan, see"? "I told you we could do it"!

Octavia's voice went up a whole octave just then!

Parise went to Paris and decided to make it her home :)

Quay ate some Quavers, and Was happy

Rhidian got rid of Ian, and he was so hlad

Sophie will sow for a small fee

Tracey traced the letter E with just one finger

victoria always had the victory over him

Will wrote a will last night

(U X Y and Z were hard so I Just left them lol :))

She used to roam the streets

Like a floating paper bag

If paper bags had a

Pink streak in their hair

She used to steal candy from

Her friend’s dad’s grocery store

They weren’t really friends and

She didn’t even like candy

She used to drive her beat up Chevy

That was actually her brother’s beat up Chevy

She would’ve had her own beat up Chevy

If she were old enough to drive

She used to wear mismatched socks

Pretending it was fashion

She didn’t know anything about fashion, plus

She was always losing socks.