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Challenge Ended
Submit anything to receive some constructive criticism.
I think learning and growing from our work is really important as a writer, so I invite everyone to come here and submit something they want feedback on. I will make sure to give as much feedback as I can myself, but I hope other writers do so as well. After posting try reading someone else's work and giving them feedback. Let them know what you like, but also let them know what you think they can do to make their piece even better. After all, we can't learn from just praise. I'll post some of my work for feedback as well.
Ended June 20, 2020 • 3 Entries • Created by veewrites
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Challenge
Submit anything to receive some constructive criticism.
I think learning and growing from our work is really important as a writer, so I invite everyone to come here and submit something they want feedback on. I will make sure to give as much feedback as I can myself, but I hope other writers do so as well. After posting try reading someone else's work and giving them feedback. Let them know what you like, but also let them know what you think they can do to make their piece even better. After all, we can't learn from just praise. I'll post some of my work for feedback as well.
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veewrites

2 Poems I Want Feedback On

Think Before I Die

Here’s a crazy idea

What if I stop drowning

In shallow water,

and lift my head up to find air?

I could brace myself

For the fall,

Instead of diving face first

Into it all.

I could put a jacket on

Before I freeze to death.

Clear the frost off my nose,

And control my breath.

I should take hold of the wheel

And keep my eyes on the road

Before that’s not an option anymore.

I can put pressure on the wound.

I can take the right amount of pills.

I can hydrate before I run.

I can, on my worst days, have the will

To try again.

Here’s a crazy idea

What if I think before I die

And learn to adapt to life?

Nah, that’s too crazy...

Call Me Princess

Look through your window

And call me princess

See the primadonna

And assume that’s me.

Little do you know

You’ve taken opportune glances

At all the wrong times.

I am not the me you have inside your head.

Dripping Mascara

Spilled wine.

Pouty Lips.

You must think I’m a whiny bitch.

Listen up.

I might complain.

I might cry.

I might act like I’m larger than life.

So what?

Don’t assume that my loudest cries

Are my only thoughts.

For once look at what goes on

Behind my eyes.

You can call me princess

And that I am.

Open your window.

And find so much more.

Challenge
Submit anything to receive some constructive criticism.
I think learning and growing from our work is really important as a writer, so I invite everyone to come here and submit something they want feedback on. I will make sure to give as much feedback as I can myself, but I hope other writers do so as well. After posting try reading someone else's work and giving them feedback. Let them know what you like, but also let them know what you think they can do to make their piece even better. After all, we can't learn from just praise. I'll post some of my work for feedback as well.
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SharondaBriggs

A Heart In A Hand

It's a Sunday morning and all is well,

It's a story within a story that I have to tell.

A gentle soul and a gentle heart,

She entered her life to play a part.

Of a situation that made all standstill.

A life-threatening event that gave her chills.

A visit to the doctor where she was told she had cancer.

How bad it was and how long she had, they had no answers.

Weeks of test and finally a word.

Gave her 6 months to live was all she heard.

Stressed out and didn't have a clue.

For once in her life, she didn't know what to do.

She searched the internet to find a result.

She found a woman she could consult.

She met with her several times, and to her surprise.

The woman she consults with had beat cancer and survived.

She explained to her that her kidneys had the disease.

And only another kidney would make her life unfreeze.

The woman told her to hold on to her faith.

It's what helped her continue and she could relate.

She kept that in mind and continued to live her life.

Never a doubt in her mind that she would one day be a mother and wife.

A couple of weeks went on and on a warm and relaxing day,

She receives a phone call telling her the woman had passed away.

She passed from a heart-failure early diagnosed.

And in her Will this is what she wrote:

I only met you recently and you stood out in my mind.

That cancer was trying to ruin someone so young and kind.

I lived my life and did all I wanted to do.

I want to give my kidneys as a gift to you.

You see they were given to me and help me live life long.

They are still working fine and I know they are strong.

If they can help you add life to your years,

My mission in life was worth the tears.

Please accept the gift that I am giving to you.

As they were given to me last year, to see me through.

The girl cried out a cry of appreciation, she couldn't believe her ears.

Because this woman's had an unselfish heart, she now can live for more years.

Challenge
Submit anything to receive some constructive criticism.
I think learning and growing from our work is really important as a writer, so I invite everyone to come here and submit something they want feedback on. I will make sure to give as much feedback as I can myself, but I hope other writers do so as well. After posting try reading someone else's work and giving them feedback. Let them know what you like, but also let them know what you think they can do to make their piece even better. After all, we can't learn from just praise. I'll post some of my work for feedback as well.
SafeHaven7

Plane

The plane lifted off the runway, starting its long journey to California. Everyone in the tower was watching intently. This was a new model, supposedly the best. The plane gradually rose to a specific altitude, then leveled out. Everyone in the tower cheered. Pilot: “Leveling out the plane. See you soon New York!” The plane accelerated a little and the plane was lost into the horizon.

On Board the Plane

I looked out the window. A mountain range was below us. I imagined seeing a skier slithering down a mountain. I was interrupted by the pilot. Pilot: “We seem to be losing altitude but we are handling that. Please keep your seat belts on.” A couple minutes after, there was some turbulence. I always got scared when that happened. We started tilting to the left. I hated when that happened, too. And then the whole plane swerved to the left. Everyone got scared. Pilot: “Sorry about that, we seem to...” The pilot was cut out, and the plane started plummeting. I floated up out of my chair, only my seatbelt to hold me down. I started panicking. We’re gonna die. The plane leveled out for a quick second, but began to plummet again. The mountains were getting closer. Co-Pilot: “Please keep calm. Keep your seat belts on. We advi...” He was cut out. The plane thundered towards a mountain. My breathing was speeding up.

Cockpit

“Mayday, mayday! Both our engines are down! Mayday!” The Co -Pilot, Deven, waited for a response, but none came so he returned to piloting.“Shut off the engines, Deven!” The pilot shouted. The engines shut off. “Now try to angle it!” “I can’t!” Deven looked out the window. The plane hit the snow and exploded.

10 Days Later

We have found the plane. There are only 2 survivors.

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