I was lying on my back in the wet grass trying to connect the multitude of dots in the night sky, so that I could then paint between their lines. My hope was that a picture of God might emerge from out of the chaos, but then the breaking dawn either completed the painting for me, or erased all of my work. I wish I knew which.

A fire dances in the dark.

Our souls are cast

as shadows

upon the wall.

We watch them

dance in remembrance,

twist away in fear,

vanish and change

in phases.

We feel the shivers

of premonition

consume us

yet

we writhe

in complicity,

helpless at our incapacity

to break free.

We stop nothing,

watching the shadows,

watch us.

We merely

remain

in the dark.

#poetry

evening.

phosphene

starlight

burns.

pitch black.

the day

meets

death.

consequence,

once shadows,

turns;

moon’s phase

moves

through

regret.

punishing

the wickedness,

eclipsing

guilt’s

debris,

as darkness

intersects

the vain

&

drowns

them

in

their

sea.

when darkness comes

reflections fade

like the memories

of ghosts

we seek to leave

upon the shore.

we only hope,

they stay above water.

balanced on the line

where ocean meets sand,

where recollection

tiptoes safe above

our demons.

but we can't look back,

because

we still believe nothing

has fallen.

and our escape

seems a lot brighter,

If labeled as an adventure.

when darkness comes.

we escape.

still human.

grateful to forget.

When darkness comes

And you find no light

In the space around you

Have no fear my dear

Know I’m always there

Even in the midst of

The absence of (any) light

When darkness comes

The demons begin to laugh

They think you’ll be shaking

In terror of what they’re planning

They’re ready to pounce on ya

Itchin’ to hav’ an ounce of your flesh

Don’t let them scare you darling

When darkness comes

Stand tall and be ready to face it

Show it who’s Boss!

It will have to face you with all it’s got

The darkness reaches closer & clos’r

Tryin’ to reach inside for your soul

Raise your arrows of light ‘n’ fire!

#Quand #l'obscurité #vient

19-06–2020.

And suddenly the election of Donald Trump makes sense to me. The night he was elected I was so horrified, although I am as anti drug as one might be, I took an unprescribed xanax, not caring if the little blue oval pill would kill me. And for three and a half years, each and every day, I have tried like hell to come to terms with not just his election, but more so, a reconciliation in my mind over the thought process possessed by those who voted for him. It was Hillary that called his supporters The Deplorables, not me, and I still believe her use of that phrase might have been one of the biggest political blunders of all time. Is Donald Trump a racist? Is every person that voted for Donald Trump racist? Does every racist consider themselves as racist? No one knows what is in another’s heart, but we can make educated assumptions by examining an individual’s past behavior.

I was born and raised in NY. As you know, so was Donald Trump. He was always all about promoting himself, so if you lived in NY, it was impossible not to know who he was. From the get go, I viewed him as obnoxious, narcissistic, misogynistic, materialistic, and considered him suspiciously racially biased when I found out Fred and Donald Trump were sued for real estate discrimination in the 70′s. He was not someone I would want to associate with. Then I read he spent $85,000 on local ads condeming a group of teens who became collectively known as The Central Park Five, headlined “BRING BACK THE DEATH PENALTY. BRING BACK THE POLICE”, two weeks after the crime was committed. At the time I read between the lines. It seemed to me he was convicting these kids in an attempt to garnish support in the court of public opinion, before their due process. They were all found guilty, and in the end, they were all exonerated after spending many years in jail. The taste in my mouth for him went from bad to worse and that trend continued especially in reading about his business practices, his bankruptcies and the icing on the cake for me was his phoney birtherism attack on Barack Obama.

Before the election I assumed incorrectly that someone with his character would be elevated to the highest office in the world. But now it all makes sense when I see where we are now. Donald Trump has drawn a line in the sand creating two different Americas. Those for him. And those against him. How so? By condemning Colin Kaepernick and calling people who kneel for racial justice, sons of bithches, by putting children in cages, by calling African countries shit hole countries, by calling himself the Law and Order President, by saying “There were very fine people on both sides,” by banning Muslims from entering the country, by embracing police brutality on live tv in front of law enforcement officials at a ceremony on long island on July 28, 2017. Apparently Derek Chauvin, George Floyd’s killer made a deadly move right from that play book, and the list goes on and on. And then yesterday in the rose garden, he actually invoked George Floyd’s name saying “It’s a good day for him,” with reference to our economic numbers. I think even my eight year old grandson would understand that statement is moronic and compassionless. ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!

How can we know exactly what effect Donald Trump has had on current events? We can’t but, what we do know, what is happening today is happening under his watch, and although he is not a buck stops here kind of guy, ultimately as president he is responsible for the state of the union.

Finally, once and for all, largely or partly, aided and abetted by Donald Trump and his minions, our country is facing the ugly stain of racism that has been a source of injustice in our country for 400 years.

So thank you Donald Trump. I can finally say I see the good that can come from your presidency. Not the good in you, not in spite of you, but to some degree, because of you, on your watch, racial justice is upon the horizon.

Even when darkness falls on you,

and night seems eternal

and the flame of hope

seems to flicker

and smolder

so that you

choke

on the

darkness

as it fills you,

know that

a light still shines

somewhere

and it’s fire

will blaze

again

dispelling

the darkness

so that you

might bask

in its glow

once again.

when darkness came

she painted the walls orange.

hoping for the sun to return.

the one that had kissed her hair blond.

the one that had touched her skin and it went

honey.

the one that filled her head with light,

her heart with

warmth.

the one that disappeared

so suddenly.

When darkness comes

I

devour.

Corrosive disgust wounds

my

stomach.

Dire cravings wake

me

up...

What does denial

secure?

No monsters hide

deep

behind talking walls

I turn my

head

despite talking heads

Telling

me

where to look.

I’m gone with the void…

I’ll take a

callous

leap;

Even if wide

jaws

bite my feet.