You have such beautiful skin.

Well, help yourself, love.

Don’t mind if I do...

That night everything fell into place. Me, him. The time. The place.

My hands searched for him, I wanted to get him as close as possible, and he let me, with eagerness. The way he touched me, where he touched me. It messed up with my mind. His fingertips sliding against my skin set everything on fire. I couldn’t have stopped him even if I wanted to. And I didn’t. If it was up to me, we would have stayed in that room forever. But we didn’t. Time was running out and he would soon leave.

So I took whatever I had left with him and made the best of it. I made it good. I let him play with me, amuse me. I let him make my dreams come true. I was losing him soon. So I also had to lose myself with him. It wasn’t a hard thing to do. He was my everything.

The way his fingers traced the lines of my body, the way he followed the map of my thighs. He knew exactly where he was going. I arched my back and closed my eyes.

Ready to experience all that he had to offer. All that my senses were ready to take... and so much more. I screamed that night with a fire that smoldered me up, that turned me to ashes. I was his completely, and enjoyed every minute of it... right until he was gone and all I had left, were the sweet, sweet memories of him and the things he could do to me.

He left and I already wanted him back.

Maybe, just maybe, one day I would have him again.

anger it fills my veins

anger it sips through my arteries

anger when it reaches my heart

I can't deny it

I can't control it

it overflows me

even if I know the tidal wave

will soon disappear

it clouds my brain

it weights on my head

it overflows me

like the rain

that threats to be a flood

I am underneath it all

I am under the sea

the waves clash against me

as I hit the rock bottom

I am tired of being

scorned by the same things

over and over again

I am the tidal wave

I am the shipwreck

I am the last straw

and yet I breathe

and yet I conquer

I emerge from

the dark depths

of my prison

I survive

no matter how tall

are my waves

I don't fight them

I embraced them

the anger fades from my system

and I calm my monsters

from the depths

I inhale as I once again resurface

I live to see yet another day

It's alright... it's alright

I will be fine once more

just not today

hello, darkness

I embrace you with kindness

I touch your heart gently

as the ground shakes and swallows me up

I don’t fight your strong arms

I let you run your fingers down my spine

your kiss is madness

yet it soothes my senses

your love may seem cold to others

yet it warms my insides

I embrace the darkness

because it’s a part of you

I pull you closer

because I feel the light breaking through

it lights my path

as I stumble with each step

what you have

makes me whole

so come closer

yes, closer

I do not fear the bad in you

I accept this pleasure

and take my time

so I can experience

all of the good

that you always hold back

but baby, I got time

and I see all of you

even when darkness pretends

to cover it up

I fear nothing

when you hold me close

My sweet savior

with a black soul

but darling haven’t you heard?

black is the new white

so let’s share this light

as you hold me close

because I am yours

and you are mine

come closer

yes, closer

I wish my anger was of the healing kind,

not a force shredding my soul

a sharp blade piercing my skin

every time you forget

your bruises

and bones broken

happily falling off a cliff

of what you think is real

I can feel the rage clouding my mind

and the sharp pain under my ribs follows,

makes my eyes tear up,

the blade goes in deep

I'm tired of picking you up

from the ground,

I am tired of being the glue

to your heart

What's the point?

What's the meaning here?

and yet,

after all, said and done

I can only find my way to you

I would leave

but I can't,

I struggle to keep you warm

but my body is so cold

It falls apart

every time you jump off that cliff

hands spread out,

a smile of hope on your face

Can't you see that there are only

rocks there waiting?

there is no flow of love

to keep you intact

please don't go there again,

please stay here,

with me

I'm tired of being the glue

to your heart

when my own started to fall apart

I tried to convince her_ I tried to make her see

but it's no use

she ain't gonna love you no more

you talked so much about your lonely days_ that you didn't notice

no, you never even saw

how broken up she really was_ and that she needed a home

you should have invited her in,

make her stay

warm up by your fire

and dream

instead of yelling_ how cold you felt inside

you should have made her your home

instead of leaving her with the frost

_

.

should I pull you away from my thoughts?

should I I hold on to the weak strings until you leave my heart?

the cords ripped_ the memories cut

or should I just scrape you away with a wooden spoon?

until I am empty_ hollow_ with the bottom visible and left raw

all the signs of you pushed

to “nomore”

and then when there will be nothing left_ and my spirits will hit the glass surface

and the walls will break_ I will cover myself in the pieces

that no longer hold meaning

I will build an armor_ I won’t feel the pain

no you_ no us_ no pain

I lusted after you

even if I never expected for it to be true

I visualized how it would be

the taste of your lips

the touch of your skin

the smell of your wounded soul

in my warm embrace,

I didn't want to share

I wanted you for myself

my mind filled with pictures and sensations

of my fingers against your thighs

and your hands against my back

nails digging in

and passion filling us both

the unseen bruises under your skin

felt like bonded courage that only my soul could respond to

I lusted after you

and when I close my eyes

I know that I still want you like that

I am full of this sin that burns so good

red flames, guiding me your way

flash against flash

sin against sin

those soft lips of yours calling me in

but is it a sin to love you like that?

in that way?

maybe... perhaps

but sinners are just like that

remind me, how soft, did you say they were...?

= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =

written words

of the love that came

and swept the ground

from under my feet

all those lines in between

the lyrics of us

of me and you

a warm touch

a soothing caress

when I don’t feel you in my arms

I am no longer here

all is left are those simple words

everyone has different opinions

on my_ state

but none of them really suspects

the actual cause of my demise

and I think I prefer it that way

but then again, what else would a coward say

because let's face it, my bravery does not apply_ to you