I'm in love with a you that doesn't exist

I'm in love with the person I fell in love with

I'm in love with the thought of you

But I'm not, I'm not in love with you

Day dreaming bout what used to be

Seeing things I shouldn't see

Wishing we could turn back the clock

To when I was her and you were him

Cause I'm not her and you're not him

Note:

I know I've been gone for a long time but I want to get into writing and singing again. This is a song I'm working on along with a couple others. Hope you guys like it!

breathe

count backwards in three's

don't let yourself spiral

don't let yourself hit the floor

feel the panic

let it happen

and let it go

don't dwell on it

don't go down the rabbit hole

you're gonna need to breathe

count backwards in three's

find a spot to focus on

in the room

when it starts a spinning

look at the colors of the wall

can you find something big

find something small

can you tell me the colors of it all

close your eyes

acknowledge what's going on

reroute your thoughts

think of something happy

reroute your thoughts

away from this place

5-4-3-2-1

Lets start at the top of the order

Could you look

around the room

look at 5 different things

you don't even have to move

Now close your eyes

could you listen to the sounds around you

what are 4 of them?

Touch 3 different objects

feel the different textures

are they hot or are they cold?

Identify 2 different smells

What are they?

Do they smell nice?

Now what's one thing you can taste?

Does it taste sweet?

5-4-3-2-1

don't forget to breathe

count backwards in three's

new song! wow I haven't posted in a while, sorry about that, I'll have to post some previous writes soon! Hope everyone had a good turkey day!!

Soooooooooooo "The Coronavirus" has kinda been shutting everything down recently. I'm pretty upset with it and angry but I can't exactly be like die coronavirus so I guess I'll try to make a little song out of it. Anyways just FYI it's COVID-19, also the title of the song so yeah:

Hi I'm Corona

It's nice to meet you

I've been knocking on your door for a while

It's kinda hard to remember my full name

So here is a fun jingle

To remember me

I'm COVID-19

C - I'm Catchy

O - you're Optimistic I'll leave

V - I'm a Virus

I - I'm Interesting

D - I'm Deadly

times 19

Cause I'm COVID-19

I'm knocking on your door

I'm ready to replicate my evil DNA

I'm knocking on your door

Are you ready for this

I'm COVID-19

C - I'm Catchy

O - you're Optimistic I'll leave

V - I'm a Virus

I - I'm Interesting

D - I'm Deadly

times 19

Cause I'm COVID-19

Cause I'm COVID-19

I'm Corona

P.S. I don't recommend

touching your face

I'm COVID-19

There are people on here. People that I really want to push out of my life, to be angry with, to never see or speak to again. But I can’t, I care about them, I love them, and I want what is best for them. That being said, I’ve acted much like the childish mom friend of the group. Trying to get them to do what they should and be ok all the time. This isn’t possible, people have to grow, and learn. These people I will always care about, even if we are no longer friends, even if they hate me, heck even their parents hate me, but that’s fine. I know that I once opened my heart to these people, and I can’t stop caring. I’m sure they thought that I was awful, that I did these things out of hate. I hit a rough patch in life, not knowing what to do, I bottled it, and it came back. That’s where I’m at now. I want to say I’m sorry, if you thought I didn’t care, when I tried desperatly to stop talking to y’all. I cared. So I’m sorry. I’m not sure I can forgive what has happened, on my side or theirs, but I still care, and I will be here for y’all, no matter what, even if your forbidden from talking to me, whatever the case may be, just know, I don’t care, screw rules, they were meant to be broken anyways..

I want you to know that I'll be ok

I want you to know that I'm just dealing with stuff right now, but it will pass

I want you to know, that you don't need to worry about me

I want you to know that I'm not trying to space out, to not do my work

I just can't help it right now

I want you to know that I'm trying

I want you to know that I'm here for you

I want you to know all of this

But I also want you to know what's going through my brain

I can't have both even though both are true

I don't want you to worry

So I'll sit over here

And continue trying

Am I terrified

To go back

Am I terrified

To see the diffrences

Am I terrified

To feel the pain

Am I sad

Still penting it up

Am I sad

That there is no going back

Am I angry

At the people who did this

Am I angry

At the world

Am I sad, angry, or terrified

Scared to death to go back

Crying oceans of tears

But screaming my anger on the inside

Am I sad, angry, or terrified

Can it be all at once

Am I sad, angry or terrified

Can it be all at once

You don’t seem to understand

That it is all at once

But I’ve been denying

That I’m scared

I’m scared

Not because of what happened

I’m scared

To feel the pain all over

I’m scared

To live without them

I’m scared

That no one will think it’s important

But it’s so important to me

Am I sad, angry, or terrified

Scared to death to go back

Crying oceans of tears

But screaming my anger on the inside

Am I sad, angry, or terrified

Can it be all at once

Am I sad, angry or terrified

Can it be all at once

You don’t seem to understand

That it is all at once

But I’ve been denying

That I’m sad

I’m sad

But I’ve been putting it away

I’m sad

But I’ve been holding it back

I’m sad

But I don’t want you to see

Am I sad, angry, or terrified

Scared to death to go back

Crying oceans of tears

But screaming my anger on the inside

Am I sad, angry, or terrified

Can it be all at once

Am I sad, angry or terrified

Can it be all at once

You don’t seem to understand

That it is all at once

But I’ve been denying

That I’m angry

I’m angry

At the person who did this

I’m angry

At the world

I’m angry

That I didn’t get to say goodbye

I’m angry

That I’ve denied these feelings for so long

Am I sad, angry, or terrified

Scared to death to go back

Crying oceans of tears

But screaming my anger on the inside

Am I sad, angry, or terrified

I know that it’s all at once

I’m sad, angry, and terrified

I know that it’s all at once

You don’t seem to see

That it’s all at once

But it’s all at once

Am I sad, angry, or terrified

Yeah, I’m sad, angry, and terrified

What if I told you the world wouldn’t end

If you started showing what’s under your skin?

What if you let ’em all in on the lie?

Even the homecoming queen cries

Yeah, what if I told you the sky wouldn’t fall?

If you lost your composure, said to hell with it all

Not everything pretty sparkles and shines

And even the homecoming queen cries

Oh yeah

Even the homecoming queen cries