Pockets, oh pockets

You make life so easy.

I thank you with my poem

(Though it is pretty cheesy)

Set in my pants,

You warm my cold hand.

You stick by my hips

And your function is grand.

Holding a ring or a rock

Or a small wad of cash,

I love my pockets-

They're the perfect stash.

Plus, they make pants look cooler,

And they have genius design.

All should wear pockets-

I really think it would be sublime!

Durable, cool, practical.

Pockets are great- I vow! I swear!

Though I hate when they get holes

And I pray that they don't tear.

In short, I love pockets!

EXCEPT THOSE SUPER SMALL POCKETS IN WOMEN'S CLOTHES!

THEY SUCK!

WHOEVER THOUGHT THEY WOULD BE A GOOD IDEA-

SCREW YOU!

They won’t let my cheetah in the Home Depot,

but they let in dogs, so I told’em so!

”Why do you hate cats, I’d like to know?

Is the manager here a feline-a-phobe?”

”No, no no!” They said. “He’s a helluva guy.

Who would never make cheetahs wait outside!

We don’t discriminate against those with a pride.

That sign on the door is meant as a guide.”

”Ah,” I said, and in we went,

my cheetah and I, for a shopping stint,

with the aisles to ourselves, but for one old gent

who called “Rita” pretty, then smiled and bent…

He reached out a hand, to scratch her head.

A mistake by him that hurt and bled.

”I’m gonna sue!” This geriatric said,

as he asked for my name, number, and creds.

”Why do you want them?” I asked the man.

”You can’t write them down with only one hand,

besides, you are addled if you think I can,

afford to settle up to your demands.

No, what you should do is to sue the store.

A jury would give you so much more

if you told them the sign was removed from the door

that kept out dogs and cheetahs and boars.”

The old man’s eyes went wide with delight.

Endless possibilities dangled in sight.

What good is a hand, when money is tight?

Better to lose it, and sue for your rights!

But before the man made it out of aisle two

Rita devoured the rest of him too.

Her aptitude losing to her attitude…

I think on our next trip, we’ll go to the zoo!

You wish away

The ticking time,

Your working life,

Your daily grime.

Still unfulfilled

Motivation killed

Enthusiastim spilled

No job as it was billed

You're wishing time away

Until your dying day -

When you will wish it back again.

International Astronomy Day

Great Poetry Reading Day

Kiss Your Mate Day

National Superhero Day

National BraveHearts Day

Worker’s Memorial Day

National Blueberry Pie Day

What a mix. From super hero’s to pie. But being a super hero doesn’t mean you can be a Flash, Iron Man or Supergirl. It means showing your child the importance of having heroes and being a hero to others. That may even include baking a blueberry pie and giving it to a complete stranger.

Let me get started.

National BraveHearts Day

Fighting cancer is extremely hard at the best of times; imagine if you were doing it alone! Now imagine how much worse this situation is for a child who is affected. Families dealing with pediatric cancer need all the support and love they can get.

Amy and Jeremy Jacobs knew how lonely this fight could be; after all, they had been through this exact situation when their toddler was diagnosed with a medulloblastoma brain tumor. To help and support others like them who were faced with a pediatric cancer diagnosis, they launched the BraveHearts For Kids organization. They offer help, support, guidance, and resources completely free of cost and use all the money from individual contributions across various support programs.

This organization founded National BraveHearts Day to help people recognize the kids, parents, loved ones, and others who care for these heroes. Now, each year, April 28 is observed as National BraveHearts Day.

International Astronomy Day

Grab your telescope, look for a dark place and pray for know clouds, as Astronomy Day is upon us. It is a day to look up to the stars. It was established to promote astronomy to the general public. Astronomy clubs and groups use this day to help teach the people about the stars, and other celestial bodies in the universe. These groups take advantage of this day to offer people a view of the stars through a telescope, if possible.

There is also an Astronomy Week. It begins the Monday before Astronomy Day.

Today is truly an Astronomical day.

Astronomy Day was created in 1973. It was started by Doug Berger, president of the Astronomical Association of Northern California. His reason in creating this day, is to promote a greater education and understanding of the wonders of the universe.

… and I would imagine even the wonders in a universe yet to be discovered.

"Astronomy compels the soul to look upwards

and leads us from this world to another.”—Plato

Kiss Your Mate Day

Today is a perfect chance to smooch with your partner, as if you need an opportunity to share a kiss or two with the one you love. With spring in the air, April is an appropriate time for Kiss Your Mate Day.

Some people may ask "why do you need a holiday to kiss your mate?" Others say "every day should be Kiss Your Mate Day." Unfortunately, researchers tell us that kissing, an important part of romance and intimacy, is the first thing to go in a relationship. If you don't currently kiss your mate every day, use today to re-establish kissing in your life.

And guys, after you kiss her, read her some poetry.

"You can't blame gravity for falling in love."—Albert Einstein

Great Poetry Reading Day

Yesterday and now today, and already I see another challenge forthcoming.

Today is in honor of some of the world’s really great verse.

There's lots of poetry out there. Some good, and some, not so good. Today is intended to read the world's greatest poetry.

With so many forms of poetry to choose from, no one is limited. You can choose from the sonnet, shi, villanelle, tanka, haiku, ode, and ghazal. There are also different genres of poetry including narrative, epic, dramatic, satirical, lyric, elegy, verse fable, prose, and speculative poetry.

Some of the well-known, great poets include William Shakespeare, Edgar Allan Poe, Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, Maya Angelou, Robert Frost, Mark Twain, Emily Dickinson, and T.S. Eliot, just to mention a few.

Who will you read today?

More Strange Holidays Coming!

Old Stuff Day

Dr. Suess Day

National Banana Cream Pie Day

The swing on the amount of so-called holidays fluctuates rather quickly.

If you like banana cream pie, enjoy. Myself, I prefer to peel one and eat it straight away, but that’s me. I’ll do the other two and because the list is short, this would be a good place to highlight the events that happened in March.

And here we go.

Dr. Suess Day

Today is the birthday of Theodor Seuss Geisel and the National Education Association to endorse the importance of reading. A lesser-known fact about Dr. Seuss is that he created the word nerd. The first documented use of the word was in the 1950 book he wrote titled “If I Ran the Zoo” about a boy named Gerald McGrew who visits a zoo and ponders what it would be like if he ran it. So In a way, Dr. Seuss is partly responsible for nerd culture.

Dr. Suess was born on March 2, 1904, in Springfield, Massachusetts and his grandparents were German immigrants. He grew up around a wealthy extended family during World War I which helped shape his patriotism. As a scout, he sold War bonds and as the story goes, he sold so many that he was to be honored by President Theodor Roosevelt. When the award ceremony took place, however, Roosevelt only had nine medals leaving young Seuss without a medal. Teddy asked, “What’s this boy doing here?” and ever since Suess suffered from stage fright.

Seuss attended Dartmouth College where he joined a humor magazine called the Dartmouth Jack-O-Lantern. He would eventually become editor-in-chief of the publication, but when he was caught drinking he was forced to resign. This was the time of Prohibition and there was a zero-tolerance policy.

He drew over 400 political cartoons during World War II for the New York Daily newspaper called “PM.” Many of them were politically charged against the dictators Hitler and Mussolini and Japanese Americans were depicted as latent traitors. In them, he also showed his support of President Roosevelt and critiqued Congress and he wrote films for the U.S. Air Force.

By the 1950’s, he wrote children’s books after the war in La Jolla, California under the pen name Dr. Seuss. Some of these were “The Cat in the Hat,” “How the Grinch Stole Christmas,” and “Green Eggs and Ham,” and he continued to write until his death on September 24, 1991. His legacy lives on as his beloved children’s books continue to sell well and inspire young people to read. In 1997, the National Education Association chose his birthday to celebrate reading and the first Read Across America Day was held the next year in 1998.

Old Stuff Day

When asking someone "What's new?" or "What's happening?", how often do you hear "Nothing really, same old stuff."

Well, today, is Old Stuff Day, in recognition of this all too common response. It is suggestive of a boring time period, or a boring life style, how sad.

Old Stuff Day is not a day to do the same old stuff. Rather, it's a time to recognize the boring nature of your daily routine, and make some exciting changes. Find new and different activities, projects, and hobbies. Attend an event. Do something, anything, different.

And regarding stuff, this is a classic from George Carlin on—stuff.

https://youtu.be/dn1u6tzwRxA

“Stuff” that happened in March

1 Yellowstone becomes the U.S.'s first national park. (1872)

2 Texas declared its independence from Mexico (1836).

2 Wilt Chamberlain of the Philadelphia Warriors scores 100 points in a basketball game. (1962)

3 The Star Spangled Banner becomes the National Anthem (1931)

4 The Constitution of the United States of America goes into effect. (1789)

4 Mrs. Charles Fahning of Buffalo N.Y. is recognized as the first woman to bowl a perfect 300 game. (1930)

5 The Boston Massacre occurred. (1770)

6 Silly putty is invented. (1950)

6 Well known and loved Walter Cronkite signs off as anchorman off the CBS Evening News (1981)

7 Alexander Graham Bell patents the Telephone. (1876)

7 Monopoly board game is invented (1933)

8 President Ronald Reagan calls the USSR an "Evil Empire" (1983)

8 Baseball great Joe DiMaggio dies (1999)

9 Ironclad ships the Monitor and the Merrimack battle in the Civil War.

10 The U.S. government issues paper money for the first time. (1862)

10 Alexander Graham Bell places the world's first telephone call, to his assistant in the next room. (1876)

11 The most famous storm in American history begins.... the Blizzard of 1888.(1888)

12 Girl Scouts were founded. (1912)

12 Baseball great Joe DiMaggio agrees to a new contract with the NY Yankees, and gets a $6,250 raise. My, how times have changed. (1942)

13 Senate begins impeachment trial of President Andrew Johnson. (1868)

13 Greenwood patented earmuffs, originally called the "Champion Ear Protector". (1877)

13 Harvard University is named after clergyman John Harvard. (1639)

14 Eli Whitney patents the Cotton Gin (1794)

14 George Eastman, founder of Eastman Kodak Company, commits suicide rather than facing the ravages of cancer. (1932)

15 "The Ides of March" Julius Caesar is stabbed to death by Marcus Junius Brutus. (44 B.C.)

16 Professor Robert Goddard launches the first liquid fuel rocket. (1926)

16 The Mai Lai Massacre takes place in Vietnam. (1968)

17 On this day everyone is a little bit Irish on Saint Patrick's Day

17 The rubber band was invented. Can you imagine life without them? (1845)

18 Soviet Union cosmonaut Alexei Leonov becomes the first person to take a spacewalk. (1965)

19 Congress approves Daylight Savings Time. (1918)

20 Harriet Elizabeth Beecher Stowe publishes the book Uncle Tom's Cabin . (1852)

21 The infamous Alcatraz prison is closed. (1963)

23 Patrick Henry declares "Give me liberty, or give me death!" (1775)

24 German scientist Robert Koch announces he has discovered the bacillus that causes Tuberculosis. (1882)

24 Elvis Presley joins the U.S. Army. (1958)

25 The European Economic Community (ECC) is established by the Treaty of Rome. (1957)

26 Ludwig von Beethoven dies in Vienna, Austria. (1827)

26 Dr. Jonas Salk invents a vaccine to fight polio.

26 The Eastman Dry Plate and Chemical Company manufactures the first motion picture film. (1885)

27 The biggest earthquake ever recorded strikes Anchorage, Alaska. It measured 8.3 on the Richter scale. (1964)

28 Nathaniel Briggs patents the washing machine. (1797)

28 The city of Madrid falls to the forces of Francisco Franco, ending the Spanish Civil War. (1939)

28 Three Mile Island nuclear power plant accident occurs in Middletown, Pa. (1979)

29 Ice jams stop the flow of water over Niagara Falls. (1848)

29 Coca Cola is invented. (1886)

30 The 15th amendment goes into effect, giving black men the right to vote. (1870)

30 Jeopardy debuts on television. (1964)

31 The Eiffel Tower opens in Paris, France (1889)

More strange holidays are coming!

Dear God, Gods, Goddess, Great Omnipotent Being (allegedly),

I want to stand on Mars please,

the only occupant.

Look up at the red night sky pregnant with cosmic beauty,

a universe naked in the absence of human-made light,

your great masterpiece of twinkling diamonds.

I want to watch a black hole feast on a star

and

fly too close to the Sun.

See dust swirl and float as I skip across the moon.

I want to view with my own eyes

the magnificence of life on another planet.

Discover the infinite possibilities.

White dwarf, dark matter, red giant,

I want to behold wonders unseen!

To witness a supernova

unleash its awesome power.

Glide through a nebula, yes please.

Gravity,

Mortality,

Hold tight.

Chains of known reality to bind me.

For now,

I shove my feet into comfy slippers to start the morning coffee.

Change to the cold familiarity of my gypsy boots,

brave the snow, ice and mud to free the tiny raptors.

Clucking away in ignorant bliss,

they scratch the earth for sustenance,

content to be free.

Feed and walk the dogs,

muddy boots painting a trail punctuated by pawprints.

Is life just a long series of shoe changes to fit the current terrain?

The secret knowledge of Mr. Rogers revealed.

Maybe I’m suppose to learn something and my reward for leveling up will be a tour of the universe? I'll learn anything you'd like for a prize such as that.

For now I drink my bittersweet coffee,

wiggle my toes back into soft slippers,

and daydream.

Futile musings of a curious mind.

Is science yet another religion?

A desperate need for answers,

to comprehend mysteries never meant to be decoded in this reality.

Too heavily encrypted for mental consumption.

Why did you give me such an inquisitive mind

then shackle me to the paperweights of others?

It is painful to think this much,

a dreadful neverending ache.

I am certain that ignorance really can be bliss,

but fear even the thought of not craving knowledge.

Knowledge is my addiction.

Devouring books and the knowing of others,

like a greedy black hole gobbles innocent stars.

Inciting the poetic chaos of my thoughts to birth their own galaxy of mysteries.

If you really do exist, why would you create an insatiable mind without the ability to process the data?

Perhaps you could simply share the password with me now?

I’ll wait as patiently as possible.

Password required: |

Carly fixed my bowtie. "You good? You seem a little distant."

"I'll be fine when I get out there," I replied.

"Well, they're waiting for you," she said, standing on her toes and giving me a kiss. "Go break a leg."

I left the dressing room and headed for the stage. Everything was quiet. The stage was dark.

POOOF!!

A cloud that glowed blue appeared on stage. Lasers shot through it, dazzlingly dancing through the dust.

I walked through, my hair slowly becoming peppered in blue. "Evening, fellas and… fellettes. Welcome to Pen to the Paper Six's announcement! We had some good ones…

"In third place, we have fudo's 'hot sauce over dried pork.' I loved the rhyme schemes. It was great.

"In second, we have Danceinsilence's 'Which Way to Go.' Chilling, intriguing, well-written, and creative only scratch the surface of why this made second place.

"In first we have an entry that I believe is very, very, underrated. Whisperer's 'The Seasons Personified' was masterfully crafted and it shows her incredible ability to personify inanimate objects/abstract ideas.

"An honorable mention is 'I hate summer' by crazyquiller. You made me laugh.

"GLD's post, 'Never Saw It Coming' was a beautiful read. I'm always looking forward to your posts.

"And, finally, blobfish's 'Clock' was an interesting read that I enjoyed from the beginning.

"Thank you, everyone, for entering! And congratulations to our winners!"

Parents:

- parent

- responsible adult ("RA" for short)

- meal planner

- diaper dealer

- warden

- DNA donor

- spawn point

Siblings:

- sibling

- wombmate

- anklebiter (if younger)

- yardstick (if older)

Polite Pronouns:

- kind soul

- fellow stranger

- air sharer

- dear (works for everyone)

- love (works for everyone)

- young one

- elder

- cohort

Other Pronouns:

*Cheat: Steal them from other languages

Navajo: bí

Hawaiian: ia

Malay: orang, kawan

Azerbaijani: o

Pipil: yaja

Umbundu: eye

Bengali: সে (şé)

Telugu: -ది (-di)

Chechen: иза (iza)

Mapudungun: fey

Tahitian: ’oia

Bashkir: ул (ul)

Kazakh: ол (ol)

Mongolian: тэр (ter)

Aymara: jupa

Chichewa: iye

Lakota: iš

Tlingit: hú

Tagalog: siya

Uyghur: ئۇ‎ (u)

Uzbek: u

Turkmen: ol

Turkish: o

Taos: ą́wąn

Wolof: moom

Chuukese: iiy

Tatar: ул (ul)

Georgian: ის (is)

Fijian: koya

Quechua: pay

Tibetan: ཁོང (khong)

Malagasy: izy

Guaraní: ha’e

Swahili: yeye

Haida: hal

Persian: او‎ (u)

Havasupai: nyihá

Cherokee: Ꭰ- (a-), Ꭴ- (u-)

Comanche: iʔ, maʔ, oʔ, uʔ

Yapese: qiir

Pitjantjatjara: paluṟu

So English lacks the gender neutral options other languages have already. Just pick the ones you like and "borrow" them like the English do with everything else in the world.

Other Options:

- Use their name (and work on remembering it!)

- Use their nickname (with permission)

- Use their title/profession ("doctor" "professor" "student" "cadet")