The high tides are rolling in;
The familiar sounds playing from a perfectly etched violin;
The melancholic music set on repeat;
The melodies playing on the loop of the downbeat;
Can this song not be rewritten;
To signify what has appeared to be forbidden;
To quiet the mind and open the heart;
To live ones life without being torn apart;
Look closely you will see;
Invisible to most, but accessible in those moments when all worries have been set free;
Imagine yourself flying through the night sky;
Your wings fully developed;
The air on your skin, tiny little goosebumps formulating, each hair end on end;
The feeling of pure electricity flowing through every fiber of your being;
Bare naked, lucid, yesterday's worries no longer existent, no thoughts edging forward;
A constance of everything but nothing;
In one moment of lack;
The veil quickly assumes its position keeping you at bay and sidetracked.
Life is an intricate circle of monumental and trivial events that shape ones universe and existence in this world.
Some maneuver as if they are part of a broadway show;
Others prefer to stand outside of the circle watching those inside;
Some blend in like a chameleon;
While others revolt all that is basic.
My secret place where the darkness forms;
A simplistic place where most decide to roam;
Indecisiveness finds its home here;
Fear circulates behaving like a puppeteer;
Visors replacing clear sight;
Strength slowly taken, no longer able to fight;
Fleeting thoughts of possibilities;
Quickly rushed away by illusions of stability;
Distant echoes of a life that once was;
The slow painful injections of the bitter sweetness that now, is and always was;
The darkness is my friend;
It follows me at every turn;
Light makes its plan to free me… but the dwelling has other plans to keep that consistent burn.
No emotion, your words calculated and cold;
The affects on my heart are often threefold;
The feeling of breathlessness;
Each day longing for a hint of gentleness;
The hurts bind to me like a chain with no release;
Underwater, drowning with no possibility of peace;
Your hand holding me under;
You cast your spells magnifying the lightening and thunder;
I beg for solace;
Instead given a endless string of broken promise;
You pretend it's in my head;
You act as if I misread;
I lay in the dark;
Trying to put back the pieces of my broken heart ;
The water flowing over the hills and crevices;
Making its way to what was but never is your true presence;
For moments I feel hypnotized by your screens;
Giving into the illusion that I am your queen;
It's not too long before it wears off;
The stench of I am sorry, please forgive me,I didn’t mean it, I just love you so much;
I am exhausted by your charades and disguises of a soft touch;
Stuck in this continuous cycle;
Each day hoping for my survival.
My exterior shows no signs of wreckage;
I am a master at concealing my defects and self afflicted bondage;
Do I dare ask is it now my time to enjoy the intricate vessels of my story;
Taste the sweet waters till I am intoxicated with no more worries;
Piece by piece like a puzzle the beginning of metamorphosis finally begins;
The posers expunged from my psyche end on end;
The revelation of my golden light;
The illumination of the shades that have settled in as squatters no longer shining as bright;
As my cocoon departs ways and my true form comes to be;
My one goal now is to find my perfect tree;
My wings now full grown riveting colors often found on the most perfect noon day;
Maybe more like a raindrop hit with the mesmeric light of the suns rays;
Soaring proud with only love to exonerate any presence resembling what could have, should have or may;
My sites now set on planting my seeds;
There is so much to choose from must I only choose one way to be freed?
Who is this I see standing alone?
Why does her heartbeat sound like a hollow hole?
Her tears dating back to ones before her
Carrying their burdens as if she is the rightful owner;
The river no longer running towards her
The separation becoming further and further;
With no thought or apprehension my wings begin to spread , and surround this dimmed light , nourishing it, feeding it and keeping it warm;
Ensuring the growth and ultimate ignition of a flame so bright no one can detour;
My perfect tree on this perfect day
Embracing the oneness many keep so far away.
I saw you coming and tried to run the other way;
You were an angel of light who had been casted away;
Your words sweet like a drip of honey;
Your touch gentle knowing it's exact journey;
You are the perfect combination of innocence and sin;
The obliteration of a well kept garden of the light within;
Even your sweat, cold and unkept;
Aroused my inner silence that has now become inept;
In your presence I am wild and untamed;
In your world my grace and elegance can no longer be sustained;
You have released the hidden darkness within;
I now enjoy the taste of sin.
The Silent Knowing
Through our upsets we become aware how life can be;
Sometimes much like the undercurrent that resides in the blue sea;
We are aware what we need to do;
But choose a different path out of ease and a false sense of subdue;
But what if I told… you can have what you dream?
A perfect life filled with contentment without any need;
Would you believe?
Or remain in disorientation following the other dimmed lights lacking the faith to achieve?
What if I told you life can be simple?
Appearing impossible at times to smooth out the ripples.
Think of it this way;
You can intentionally place yourself on the wave;
Blending, colliding with others who share your silent knowing that you are saved;
Enjoying the elegant perfection of
Embracing each sensation of serenity;
Breathing in the crisp air; feeling it run through you while providing a protective blanket of tranquility;
Upon your destination you land,
Now able to feel each kernel of the warm vibrant sand;
Looking ahead ,strong and equipped knowing how to withstand , writing ones own script;
A difference, a subtlety, no longer obscure
Settling into yourself and being absolutely sure;
To be grateful is a work of art
Just know its never too late to start.
It's that place I call home;
Dark, damp and lonely;
No place anyone would choose to roam;
The outside scares me;
But inside I don't want to be alone;
There is a struggle within me that needs connection but fears being left out in the cold;
I get out of bed with plans for days ahead;
Instead find myself immobilized and under my bedspread;
Searching for my cloak of disguise;
Keeping up this charade letting no one know the battle that pulls me from inside;
The life force of energy fills me but the world depletes me;
They all don't know the ghosts that haunt me secretly;
The pain, loss, insecurities that coexist under the surface;
The strength it takes to keep them at bay it's like managing a circus;
They don't know how one misspoken word can put an ache so deep in my heart that I question my own purpose;
The one thing I do know… is I am more than this darkness.
There's a pull and push between us;
A perfect synchronization of immeasurable love and animalistic lust.
It's like that feeling one gets when at the edge of a mountain about to fall;
The breath shallow and quickened
Heart pounding, nothing else in recognition.
Sweat forming like magical crystals
Cooling and electrical;
Everything around blurred only linear vision;
In that moment there has to be a decision.
Do I fall in or pull back out of fear of attrition? My fears float away like strings of musical notes and I fall right into you.