I wrote this in response to an Emerald Author Challenge that I saw. Although I wasn’t able to post it because I am not an Emerald Author yet, I like the prompt.

Prompt- supPOSEDLY (November play #2) Destroy something you feel is supposed about you… and tell me why you think it is, in the process.

Created by Plexiglassfruit, in the Emerald Lounge.

I sat there trying my best to listen, as my mother-in-law continued to chastise me. I should have never answered this god damn phone.

“Kennley, this isn’t the first time you acted like this. Rachel is offended and there’s no reason for it”, she yelled.

Squeezing the phone, I did my best to not come undone, “She’s always offended. Don’t you think it’s weird that Rachel will wait until the room is empty, to start conversations with me? She’s always done this!”

“You have no compassion. The way you act towards her is cold and I’m not the only one who notices it. You act the same way towards me, too. You’re very cold and to many people”, my mother-in-law claimed.

“Well, maybe these people who think this, should reflect on the moment that led up to my cold behavior. Beside you, Rachel and your friends who you talk to… who else thinks this? When you’re controlling the narrative & complaining to your friends and siblings, that kind of sets a tone. This is so stupid! Rachel started complaining about her bills and money like usual. She then throws her passive aggressive comments into the conversation. Then if I disagree or I become offended, she plays the tone deaf card and says she didn’t mean it negativity and if it came off that way, she’s so sorry… come on. This is why I do not talk to her and when I do, I keep it very surface-level”, I tried my best to explain myself in a calm manner.

“…And what did she say so negatively? She’s overwhelmed with finances and you tell her to just start paying her bills and she wouldn’t be dealing with this. That was insensitive and cold like I said.”

I let out a laugh of aggravation. I tossed my phone onto my dresser and continued straightening up. I can slowly feel my anger building and building, as if it’s going to shoot up through my head like a geyser. Once she finished her sentence, I ran across my bedroom so fast, you would think I was competing in a track meet.

“I did not say that! Rachel slipped a comment in, saying not everyone is lucky to have their parents and Poppy paying their bills like me. She mentioned that all my money is okay mone, which is why my kids have so much. She’s wrong and I have no idea why she keeps saying that! That’s offensive I pay my bills. All I did was telol Rachel to cut out unnecessary expenses like going out to eat or buying lottery tickets. That $40.00-$80.00 here and that $5.00 that is spent every day on lottery tickets, adds up and that money could be put towards her bills”, I explained.

“Oh come on Kennley! It’s your demeanor that’s offensive. She’s venting and you’re being rude”, my mother-in-law spewed.

I’m done. This right here is exactly why I am short and disconnected… or cold as they all have claimed for years, now. Nothing I say is right. When nothing you say or do is right and constantly used as ammunition, this is what causes my emotionless responses. If I don’t react after the constant picking and harassment, then I’m cold. If I do react, I’m unhinged. It’s not fair to me!

“Dawn, if you cannot see why I act the way I do around you and Rachel, then you both need to open your eyes. How I carry myself around you people, is for my own sanity. The way you describe me is so far from the truth and your son, my friends and everyone else who knows me, will tell you that. I am so emotional, but I‘ve learned to water myself down because If I didn’t, I’d be sick to my stomach everyday because of you people“, I yelled!

The phone went silent. Dawn didn’t say a word, so I continued.

“You‘ve told people that I’m scorned by my childhood, in the past. All because I didn’t agree. I’ve been talked about by you, ever since I stuck up for your son when you caused problems between he and his brother. I am not the cold one. It‘s you who is cold. It’s a problem to you all, since I am who I am. You’re embarrassed that I don’t act the way you want me to act, as you frolic within your wealthy friend group. I’m over this shit! I didn’t do anything wrong. This is why I try not to speak with you guys!”

Before I can finish my statement, I heard nothing. I looked at my phone and of course, my mother-in-law hung up. I launched my phone onto my bed and watched it bounce onto the floor.

“This seriously cannot be my real life”, I said to myself.

I continued my cleaning, so I can calm my nerves. This is the last time I allow either of them to do this to me. I’m nothing they say I am.

Backed against crimson colored brick.

These city lights are blinding, not aiding while I falter—

Ironically, so inebriated;

I’m probably just as lit.

Staggering through these vile streets.

Focused on the fact I’m a modern day nomad—

failing to fit in with the fakes, freaks, addicts, morally guided or the elites.

Too many nights I find myself here.

Damning the has-beens, what ifs, stockings torn, heels in hands—

alone, wishing to trade the urge for risk, in for fears.

Fishing around my purse for my keys, I did my best to keep both eyes on my surrounding. The three seconds that it takes to find my keys, can make a huge difference in this neighborhood. It’s dangerous here & like an idiot I keep coming back.

I quickly got into my car, locked the doors & took off.

“I hate this part…I have to get out of here”, I said to myself.

Once I crossed the bridge leading me out of Slocum Hollow, the anxiety melted right away. Coaltown is nothing like the Hollow. People know me here, police know me here. I don’t have to worry about being pulled over like I would across the bridge. I doubt anyone would try to rob me here or any of the craziness that happens in the Hollow.

Everyone knows the car I drive & for as visible as I am, I’m also looked over & invisible when it comes to legal discrepancies. All thanks to being the granddaughter to whom, once was the most favored mayor in the history of Coaltown. My family is well-known & respected. Although my mother didn’t follow in her father’s political footsteps, she built a successful career as an actress. My mother holds a main role in a soap Opera called, “Little Town Lies”, she is Bailey & is the center of the plots. Ironically, we have our main residence in our own little town of lies. My mother never wanted to call any place home, except Coaltown.

As I open the door to my house, my phone starts to ring. Of course, it’s Tate.

“What’s up Tate?”

“Nothing. I thought you were going to call me & let me know everything went good“, he questioned.

“It did go good. I literally just got home.”

I put the phone on speaker & tossed it onto the countertop, as he continued to talk. I really like Tate, but there’s something about him that seems weird to me. We haven’t known each other that long, so we are still learning things about one another. There’s just something that keeps creating that gut feeling. You know, the feeling that is trying to tell you to abort mission. Talking to a guy like this, who I never had a prior friendship with or anything, it’s all new to me. I feel like that could be the reason behind this gut feeling & the nerves. I can’t lie, it’s been nothing but good vibes with Tate. Plus he’s extremely attractive & a lot of fun! I don’t want to jinx a good thing.

“So you going to come over”, Tate asked?

“I guess. I mean it would be even better if you come over here”, I tried to sway him.

“I’ll come over there Wednesday & stay the night… or two. I promise you Allister.”

Reluctantly I agreed, “You’re lucky I like you & think you’re kind of cute. I’ll head out in 20 minutes.”

“Perfect! Oh don’t forget all the stuff, either. It’s going to be another good night”, he said excitedly.

“Wait, I don’t want to bring everything. I don’t know why you even need me to bring that much”, I questioned.

He let out what sounded like a sign of aggravation, “Allister… you’re good. You’re the only one who doesn’t have to worry“, he finished the call & hung up.

“This is too much to bring, especially to Bentley”, I said to myself.

Fishing around for my keys again, I had a moment of doubt. Standing there with the car door open, I watched the cold turn my breath into a frigid cloud.

“Agh! Why do I feel like this”?

I started my car & followed the directions of the GPS. The closer I got, the worst I feel. You would think there’s impending doom cast upon this world, if you could measure this feeling.

I grabbed my phone, I have to call my best friend.

Praying she answers, I finally hear her voice after the fifth ring.

“Hey, Hey”, she greeted me.

”Dev, I don’t know what to do. Tate’s basically begging me to come over… & I am. I just have the worst feeling. I don’t know what to do. My nerves are on a hundred“, I cried.

“Girl you better take note of that feeling. I like Tate & everything, but he seems sneaky, don’t you think”, she asked?

“Yes! That leads me to this next part. He told me he’s an accountant in West Bentley, but not to sound like a stalker, I cannot find any accounting firms on Google. I wish I met him from a friend so I could feel better that someone knows him & can verify things like this. Who meets people at a damn gas station? Me.”

Devin went silent for a few seconds, “Alli, you’re making me nervous now. Maybe take a breather tonight. You guys have been hanging out a lot the last few weeks. I don’t think Tate is a murderer or anything crazy, but maybe we need to do an investigation on him”, she suggested.

“Hold on… he just texted me & again he made it a point mention that I need to bring all the stuff I just bought. Something isn’t right, Dev.”

“Stop over here & drop it off. Reply to him & tell him you’re good. Alli, you have to stop with this shit… let alone Tate. Tonight, I’ll hold it down. I really don’t want to do it again though. I feel like he’s constantly talking about it.”

“Good idea. Meet me at your door in like 10 minutes. Thank you. I owe you”, I hung up the phone.

I grabbed the half-ounce of cocaine out of my makeup bag, as soon as I pulled into Devin’s driveway. I quickly flew out of my car & met her at the front door.

“Allister… what are you doing with this? You never did this shit like this. Tate really seemed like a good thing, but this is a lot. Half an ounce, come on”, she said after I handed it to her.

“Listen, I promise no more after that’s gone. It’s not all mine anyways”, I said as I hurried into my car.

Within 15 minute, I was pulling in front of Tate’s apartment complex. Normally, it’s rare to see people parked on the curb, beside me. However, someone is definitely having a party because there are a ton of cars. Maybe that’s why he wanted it so bad.

I texted Tate to let him know I’m here. As I grab my purse, I turned around to see Tate walk over & he had some guy with him.

“He‘s so fine…” I said as I walked over to them.

“You have that half ounce Allister”?, Tate asked as soon as he saw me.

“Yes for the tenth time, Tate”, I lied for some reason.

His friend reached into his back pocket, looked at Tate & grabbed a pair of handcuffs.

“Allister Redd Jawor, you’re under arrest for possession of a controlled substance & a series of other drug charges for possessing cocaine“, he informed me.

“Tate you’re kidding me, right? What the hell? Are you kidding me”?, I yelled as my legs began to feel weak.

I cannot believe my gut feeling was right. I cannot believe I gave that shit to Dev, I cannot believe I been falling for a detective who was investigating me the whole time.

“Allister, I’m detective Kevin Barnes & clearly you know my partner Tate Ferg. I’m going to sit you on the curb. We have a warrant to search your vehicle, so please make this easy for all of us & let me know where the cocaine is & any other substances or paraphernalia”, he instructed.

I will lie to Tate like he lied to me. Let’s see how long & how far this goes before they realize I have nothing in my possession. I have nothing.

“I would like to call my lawyer. Don’t expect answers from me until then”, I yelled.

Tate looked at me, almost like he felt regret for doing this as he & his partner opened the doors to my BMW. I knew it deep down, something wasn’t right. I am done with all of it. The partying is over & I am done dabbling. Too much of a good thing, is a bad thing… & this was too good to be true, too fun & too much too fast.

Silence cascaded upon us like a heavy rain.

Though with nothing to say at the moment—

both, his & her expressions are saying everything we need to know.

Although I, myself & the couple nearby, weren’t enthusiastic about wanting to know anything. That’s when she spoke one sentence. A line so simple… one could never imagine it making the hair on Zack’s arms stand up or anyone’s arms, at that.

“Oh how those god-damn tables turned”, Arlie stated.

That sentence shocked Zack, his eyes grew big & his face contorted, as if he was hit with an electrical current. Not a word was ushered in response to Arlie. Like this wasn’t uncomfortable enough seeing two people argue the way they were, just minutes ago, the moments of silence made it more unbearable. I’m not sure if I should sneak into the shadows of this house & make a run for it or just stand here with the other two people, while they naw at their nails with nervousness.

“Wouldn't you know Zack, I was right… I wished this wouldn’t ever pan out to be true. Every day…I wished this shit was just me creating crazy scenarios in my mind like you tried to make me believe. This whole time you fucking lied. You stole-

Zack interrupted her, “I never stole the amounts of money you blamed me for stealing.”

“I don’t even care about money right now, Zack! What you stole was so much fucking worse. You stole hearts from two different woman. You demolished a marriage… & not even to me, to your poor wife! The fucking worst part about this, you ruined the chance for two innocent babies from being able to see both parents together! Your nephew & your niece, nice cover story! They’re your kids! My dignity is stolen & now I’m the one standing here feeling the guilt for everything that you put your secret family though! All while you lived a double life the past year. You smiled, laughed & truly acted like you didn’t have a whole life in another state. You traveled back and forth from work and it was you going home”, she yelled.

Trying his best to act like he had no idea what Arlie was saying, he shook his head back & forth, “I can’t do this with you. Brent, let’s go. I‘m not getting into her car” he said, as he pointed at Arlie.

Before Zack could put one foot in front of the other, Brent walked towards him.

“Go fuck yourself, Dude”. We might be friends… were friends, but that’s because Arlie introduced us. You can burn in hell for everything she is saying you’ve done.”

Do I look at them? My mind is ready to explode over everything happening. This is what you see on Lifetime movies, not in real life with a friend, I thought to myself.

Arlie’s eyes looked like half moons, glowing with anger as she clenched her teeth together, “See how these tables turned? Well, I hope you find a comfortable place to sit, here or in hell, since you created a forever shit-storm for yourself. I’m just one woman whose life, you stole for a year. I clearly can’t turn enough tables in your life to make… or should I say your two lives to make it equal the pain you caused for two women & the pain you’re going to cause for your children, I’m sure! When karma turns tables, that means you will get what you deserve.“

That’s it, I can’t stand here wondering what I should do. I ran to Arlie, grabbed her arm and walked her towards Brent & Foresst. She was powerless and if I wasn’t holding her by the arm, I think she would have been on the floor.

Her eyes reminded me of two water fountains; the pools of the fountains filled up with tears, just to stream down her face. They kept flowing, as if the water was being recycled, over and over.

“Fore, take her to the car. Brent can you grab Arlie’s stuff from the kitchen, I think it’s on the table or the countertop, while your girlfriend gets her out of here?” I ordered.

I turned around so fast, I didn’t have time to calculate the use of my word arsenal from that point, moving forward. Walking towards Zack, I took one breath in & couldn’t even remember if I let it out. I was pissed.

“You made people…not many people, but some people, actually believe you were this great guy who’s new to the area, who happened to fall in love with a girl that acted one way in public & another way in private. Arlie is who she is, she’s a lot smarter than anyone of us because she figured this shit out. You screwed your self. Arlie & your wife, will find happiness & live a good life when they get over this. You will never be happy. You will never have a good life, since you want to try & live many lives. It won’t be long until everyone finds out. There’s no such thing as secrets being kept around here.”

I turned around to walk away, grabbing my purse off the table I heard him mumble under his breath. I stopped in my tracks about to turn around, but I decided against it. I need to get out of here.

Tailored to withstand the storm that you were.

Laid broken, confused to witness the hate in your heart.

The hands that beat me down, were the hands that picked me up.

The challenge was trying to figure out how to avoid all this hurt.

Paranoid that I’d never escape your inflicted torture.

Shards of glass catching light, that’s all you’ll see glimmer—

Because I don't have hope anymore.

The challenge was trying to believe I had the strength to leave.

Which I did & you tried so hard to make me concede.

I fought to pick myself up & carry the little bit I had left of me.

Convincing myself, I didn't deserve that life or your brutality.

The challenge is, I’m reminded that I’ll never be the person I use to be.

Once you feel hate, it takes over & lives within you, for eternity.

Tears trickling down my face,

as glimmers of hope remind me

of what I overcame.

The challenge is, finding it possible forgive you for your evil deeds.

Tailored to withstand any storm or shortcomings.

Laid broken, I‘m not—

For I will never allow someone to clip my wings.

The hands that pick me up, now hold me lovingly.

The challenge is, ill never forget what you’ve done to me— but, damnit my life is good, finally.

It all became so bright.

A lightning bolt, Illuminates the sky.

As quick as it came, is as quick as it left.

For a short moment—

it was like looking at the world through another lense.

It reminds me of us.

Just a bout of time, you come back again.

Like thunder and lightning, we’re a catastrophic match.

But that’s just it, until next time

You’re here & then your gone.

It all happens so lightning fast.

It’s almost like an illusion to love someone who loves you—

but yet something stands in the way.

To never get past a certain point after all these years,

after all these moments and memories you’d create.

Between the two, you know in your heart that it’s real.

Just until the world tries to tell you, if you’re not together—

then it’s fake.

Spend everyday with one another,

our connection grows—

These feelings scare us, we run & take a break.

There‘s never closure, we pause this love, knowing what’s at stake.

Forever leaving it where it is.

It’s unfinished, but it’s always there for us—

A life time, you & I—

connected with invisible chains of fate.

Backed against crimson colored brick.

These city lights are blinding, not aiding while I falter—

Ironically, so inebriated

I’m probably just as lit.

Staggering through these vile streets.

Focused on the fact I’m a modern day nomad—

failing to fit in with the fakes, freaks, addicts, morally guided or the elites.

Too many nights I find myself here.

Damning the has beens, what ifs, stockings torn, heels in hands—

alone, wishing to trade the urge for risk, in for fears.

This is a far cry for attention… it’s the opposite in fact. In five years, I’ve lost my father-in-law. I watched my best friend seize to death on life support for six days. The next year I watch my Gram die from being tortured by sickness & cancer. Eight months later, three days before my birthday, my mother is found dead at only 51 years old.

I need to experience the feeling of being lost, physically… rather than mentally. Please, just understand that I need a break. I need silence, rather than chaos. I need to feel the calm of shade, given by trees and not people, so to speak. I need to figure out who I am. To sit and type all day, emptying my mind of the tornado of thoughts, always spinning.

I understand that you may not understand, just know that this is something I need To do.