Can’t find

The feeling I've been looking for 

My whole life

This emptiness is all I’ve ever known

Seems like

I've never really needed what I never had the time for

Never really alive

Can’t say

I've always had the feeling that it’s 

Past me

Now I’ve seen the light it’s never

Okay

To feel the way I feel

And now the feeling that I've lost my chance is 

All I ever think about 

And you

frequently

the man says to himself:

this will be the day

he straightens his tie and fixes his hair

this will be the day when I do something right

the door closes,

the car hums,

the phones ring,

and the man sleeps

this will be the day

feature like a grand hotel

with banisters of polished brass

and stairways that go all the way up

and all the way down

what is it like to know that everything you do is the stars bleeding out into the emptiness of space and that all of those things that they say just don’t matter if you close your eyes and breath in without moving or ever feeling for one second that you can’t do what you’re meant to do and that you can’t ever believe it without the cold hard truth of what you were before all the stars died away before your eyes

and what is it like to feel the warm arms of love and to be a sweet secret that no one has uncovered like an uncorked bottle that floats dismally through the ocean waves and never comes to dry ground where the sands of time slowly and tenderly wear it away like a bird in an empty attic that’s been left for all the other bright and shiny things which glimmer and rattle but are all so cold

wouldn’t it be great

if

all the world went deaf

for just a moment

and all was still

;

sometimes

i wonder what would

happen in that

instant

if the world went deaf

1

Living off of dreams and drinking cold water

With a little bit of luck and not much else 

2

Instead of this once, there is an un-timeless

Nests are for birds, but men like to share

3

Figments and fractures that take all the courage 

Seem like a dust that never says never

4

Wish there was love in the depths of the circle

But prophecies come and never go far

5

They fill in the gaps with stardust and glitter

Sometimes waking up things that don’t breathe

6

Figurehead spirits and flea market treasures 

Get it all wrong with nothing to keep

Gift wrapped bones

And 

Birthday parties,

Melted dolls

With 

Blackened skin

It’s a long way down.

blurry faces

scented like 

cotton candy 

and cigarette smoke

bustle past

as i sit

and listen to

the rain.

ten wooden birds

lined up on a perch

with

beady glass eyes

and

plastered on feathers

A man walks, (hands in pockets)

Along an icy sidewalk,

Shivering from the cold.

With brow furrowed and head bent down,

He thinks of things that should not be

Thought.

Doubts and insecurities writhe within,

Seeking release,

but

The snow

Calms his demons, and eases

The worst of his pain.