There are opinions everywhere

Written, sometimes printed

On scraps of paper

Littering the ground we stand on

Even a slight shifting

Of the direction of the foot

Initiates a massive disruption

To the paper-ground

Revealing a not-so-tough

Unfinished spot of floor that when

Properly stepped onto

One willfully falls into

Every time

an

⬷arrow⤐

-----shoots-----

out

of

your

{ bow, }

a little piece of her

c

h

i

p

s

a

w

a

y

.

You always loved the sea

(I cried you an ocean of tears)

You longed to reach the stars

(I shared a galaxy of shattered dreams)

You gave up sleep for youth

(Every night I thought of you)

You were an army against the world

(I never stopped fighting for you)

You found beauty in the broken

(I saw the world through you)

But as your passion for tomorrow waned

(I burned for you)

And as you sunk beneath the water

(I breathed for you)

You paid me back in broken promises

(I kept your lies in a jar)

You locked your heart up in a cage

(I cannot be your key)

You faded into tired greys

(I couldn’t help but love you)

|With all the colors of my heart|

my fingers

intertwined

with yours,

just like

our

past,

present

and

forever.

26.08.20

It still hurts

to know that you’re not

here.

It does.

Even though you’re happy now.

It hurts

to think

back to that day.

It used to be filled with happy memories

lots of smiles

the sound of laughter.

Now you’re gone.

And I wish I could keep

making happy memories,

keep smiling,

or maybe even laugh.

But I can’t.

Its a d

o

w

n

h

i

l

l

s

l

o

p

e.

A

f

r

e

e

f

a

l

l.

I can’t get up.

I just can’t.

People still think i’m the same person.

I’m not.

I can’t.

I scream.

and scream.

(not aloud at least.)

it’s painful.

it hurts.

but

i hate myself

for being so weak

when you were

so strong.

I want to be like you.

You were strong,

you bore the pain.

Everyday.

So why can’t I?

Just why?

Why am I left

to die

to drown

to dive deeper

into the darkness of my mind.

Why can’t I pick myself up,

and tell myself,

nothing I do will get you back.

And I need to start living

like you are there.

Because you wouldn’t

want to see me in this state.

You would wrap you arms around me

like you always did

in a warm embrace.

You would tell me to

make new memories

happy memories

on my own

or remember

the old happy ones

(but they’ll tainted with sadness and grief)

I’m trying to be strong

for you

and

everyone else.

but I can’t seem to be strong,

for me.

ღ. wasn’t a

heart l

ღ w

Her a

y

s

::so::

g

o

l

d

&

p

u

r

e

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

It

::::simply::::

was

tried,

(again and again)

by

fire,

▂▃▅▇█▓▒░in the fiery furnace░▒▓█▇▅▃▂

called

LIFE.

She

:::::simply:::::

emerged

brighter.

stronger.

purer.

Not cynical.

Or jaded.

☆:*´¨`*:.•.¸¸.•´¯`•.♥ She was merely refined. ♥.•´¯`•.¸¸.•..:*´¨`*:.☆

From

.: : ...’..:

:.;.‘dust.:.;’.

: : .‘:’ .: ’.; : :

to

⋆ ✧✵　 + · 　 ✧ .

+ ☆ *　✵ * ⋆.☄

★ * gold. * ★

* . *　✦ +

☆ ° ✧　 · ✵ *

(And that’s the girl I wanna be.)

~Ernaline, 22.08.20