I am Voidkin. At least I think so.
I’m just like all of you.
Yes, I remembered my password.
I’m not here to write a joke.
Not here to write a meme,
Or a quote,
Or a scene/story.
I am here because I won’t.
I looked back at my other posts,
Posts that me and some other people like to call “garbage”
Posts that make 0 sense.
Nearly all of my posts were nonsense,
Most about my toxic friends and mental health.
I still feel sad. I’m only now starting to accept the fact that there are billions of people here,
And no matter what I do,
I’m just one of them.
I’m trying to make my life mean something. Like I’m worth the world’s time.
I’ve found new people though. People who care about me.
I left my toxic “friends” and moved on.
I’ve gained confidence and found a rush of excitement when outside my comfort zone.
For a comfort zone is what kills us.
I don’t write. Not anymore.
I make artworks.
I post my art on an app called “Artfol”
If you ever want to see it.
My username is voidkin_killer. You’ll know it's me because I’m following literally everyone on the site.
I started making YouTube videos again!
And, my channel got popular, which is cool
People really like my work,
And I love making it.
I’ve tried new things lately and discovered wonderful outcomes.
And I think,
I think the war is ending. Our battle against a virus is ending?
I think so. Yet we have other things to worry about,
climate change, war in Ukraine, other shit I don’t want to mention.
I don’t know where I’ll go from here, but…I’m glad I passed through.
I was going through some stuff during my time on this site…
And I’ve gotten better!
I just want to say,
These words will never be enough to say how happy I was to have met everyone on this site.
And though writing ending up not being my interest,
I’m very happy I tried it,
And what better place than here, right?
I guess this is goodbye lol.
Feels weird to say that.
I don’t know who’s still here and active on this site,
But if you see this, thank you :3
I am learning so much now, and back stronger than ever.
I don’t think I’ll forget any of this
And this is where it's time to leave.
I wish everyone here success in their future.
Tis has been a journey.
And I probably will not be back.
But I will miss everyone. Thank you.
Thank you guys so damn much.
But dear, you don’t have a past.
Endless words, all of which I created. Something filling my senses with agony, and in a way only someone like us could make.
“I don’t care,” they’d say. “I don’t care what you did. I don’t care what you said. I don’t care what happened. All I care about is who you are now.”
The sun beamed heat down upon the Earth in waves, the sun starting to set behind the trees, making the tips of their leaves look like a golden flare upon the sky. The warm night was starting to settle as the birds nested into the undergrowth and the nocturnal animals started to awake.
I skipped along the sidewalk, prancing through the neighborhood to come back to my house after a long walk. My feet bounced over the pavement as the darkening sky awoke me inside, adrenaline wanting to come out. I trotted past one house, and then one more, one familiar turn after another until I reached the street my house rested upon. I stood at the other end of the road and made my way up the small hill to get ready for the night.
“Isn’t it beautiful at this time of day,” I asked my brother while I moved my long hair out of the way to see him better. He grunted quietly to himself, as though my question was silently amusing to him. He never responded and I skipped in front of him on the sidewalk, feeling the urge to run as the night crept darker, the air around me growing more still and cold against my skin.
For a short few seconds it was quiet, nothing but the wind moaning as it curved its way uphill. Some of the lights in the houses we passed were off, others still on, as though a family finishing up dinner was inside. There was no sound, such a peaceful feeling spiking up my mood. I closed my eyes, taking in the beauty from darkness, all other senses at their height, and when I opened my eyes again, I was not in the same place. The air felt more thick, and eerie, almost as though the world around me was abandoned. Suddenly the peacefulness and comfort I had felt before seemed to fade into a lonely and silent movement as I continued walking towards my house.
I passed one house, then another, until I had almost reached the end of the street, this time, my heart wanting to hurry back before dark. But rather not, something stopped me, catching my eye against the shadows. A figure was standing on the hill at one of my neighbor's houses. It was slanted upon the pavement of their driveway, seeming to mix in with the trees behind it. It was some kind of animal, looking into one of the windows of the house it stood before. Too small to be a dog.
I stopped on my feet before running forward at a safe distance. As I sprinted closer, the figure came into view, it was a cat.
“CATTTTT,” I yelled with such excitement, cats had always been one of my favorites. I could almost feel my brother roll his eyes from behind me, his heart longing to hurry back without any distractions. I stopped at the end of the driveway, the cat a few feet ahead of me, I looked at it from behind before looking back at my brother who seemed unimpressed that this had caught my attention.
“Can I pet it,” I asked him excitedly, as though I needed his permission before touching someone else's cat. He stood with his arms crossed and shrugged, it was clear he didn’t want to waste time on this.
“I don’t care,” he lied, and I made my way slowly up the driveway and towards the cat, trying to be cautious so I didn't scare it away, and so that the people inside of the house didn’t see me. The closer I got the more I started to realize that this wasn’t a cat, or at least not like the ones I was used to seeing. I stopped in my tracks and backed up a little bit in fear.
The cat had a pure jet black coat, its fur looked silky, but at the same time, it was ruffled. The fur on the cat's back didn’t come through, it was missing huge patches of fur near its back legs and on its shoulders. Its tail looked torn apart, like something had attacked it and wrapped its jaws around that area. Its ear was slightly torn and it's paw and coat was very dirty. Its eyes were green, enchantment Illuminating within them, the small slivered pupils ran down the center of its eyes, which seemed like the only part of its body that wasn’t broken. Near its left eye was a bulging scratch, swelling badly, cutting off some of its eyesight.
I stepped back, startled by what I was looking at. The cat saw me, its eyes looking too feminine to mean anything else. Her pupils dilated and she tried to walk towards me, a small limp in her back leg. She let out a small cry, nothing like I had ever heard before. Her voice sounded sore and horse, almost like she was losing her voice or drained of water. She tried to walk towards me but I stepped back as she walked forward, not wanting to get too close. I normally would’ve pet any cat, but that rusted hairless spot on its back was nothing I wanted my fingers to meet. My eyes looked down upon her, empathy stinging inside of me, it was going to be impossible to take me from this cat, no, I could not leave it, not without helping it first.
Perhaps it was a stray, for it meowed again, limping towards me, clearly affectionate and friendly, but I once again took a steep back until she stopped trying to rub against my legs. It killed me to turn down the companionship of this dying animal. I knew I had to do something, I’d fix her until she was so beautiful that I wouldn't back away when she wanted me to pet her. I knew my brother felt differently.
“We should be heading back now,” he said, ignoring the cat and taking in the noticeable eeriness within how dark the sky was growing.
“We can’t just leave her here,” I said, looking back at him with eyes that spoke of both empathy and fear for the cat. He walked by my side with his arms crossed and stood in silence, taking in the details of the animal that stood before us falling apart. He stared at it, I knew he had already made up his mind, but he still seemed to consider the animals fate if she stayed out here by herself.
“We’re going,” he said as a final and confirmed verdict, and he walked past me and up the hill. I turned away from that cat who now looked at me with loving eyes and looked at my brother’s back now turned to me.
“I don’t really wanna to just pretend like I don’t see what I do,” I said to him, my voice still, as though I knew he wanted nothing to do with this animal, and I nearly begged him to change. He turned and looked at me.
“No, we should go inside now,” he said again and he started back up the hill. It was clear that he wanted to get out of here as fast as possible before I became too attached.
“Are you serious,” I announced, a little more fire in my voice than what I had wanted. He stopped walking ahead of me and stood still with his back turned.
“Please let me do something,” I continued, more helplessness in my voice, a crack of weakness showing through. My brother turned back around and fast-walked in front of me.
“And what do you wanna do about it,” he asked, annoyed with my need to help the cat, a voice saying all it needed to, sounding too demanding at someone who only wanted to help something that couldn’t help itself.
“We can take it to the vet,” I said, “They can help, they deal with this stuff.” he shook his head in disapproval, I didn’t understand why he was so against helping this creature.
“Look, it's probably someone else's cat, and if not, they seem to be doing fine on their own,” he stated, more assertive this time. I backed up for a moment, him getting too close to my face. I glanced back at the cat.
“What do you mean she’s doing fine on her own,” I yelled, “She’s literally limping!” My brother rolled his eyes as I stated the word “she.”
“It’s not what,” I yelled, fury in my voice, “It’s not our problem!?”
“I was gonna say it's not our cat,” he said, silence falling between us. I stared into his cold eyes as he put his hand on his head, taking in the rising tension between us and sighed.
“Look, whatever diseases this cat has on it, we can’t just take it home and risk giving it to our pets,” he said, his voice calming. I stared back at the cat, noticing that I had never seen it around my neighborhood before. Her eyes looked up at the two of us like she was trying to piece together what all the yelling was about.
“I’m not saying we keep her,” I sighed, “But we shouldn’t leave her here. I can’t just ignore something like this.” My brother’s eyes lit up again.
“What do you even think the vet would do about it,” he yelled again, breaking the stillness of our conversation. “I’m not ignoring the problem, I’m just being realistic, there’s nothing they would do about it, and if you're seriously going to force me to interfere with this cat, I think the best thing to do is stop it from suffering.” My eyes widened as I looked back at the cat, now laying on her side against the cool pavement.
“You want them to kill her?”
“I think that’s the best choice,” he replied, straightening his poster. It was clear what he was trying to do. I can either leave the cat here, or help it by killing it, neither of which I wanted to do. I sighed, accepting that my help was not coming from my brother.
“She won’t make it,” I whispered just loud enough so he could hear me. I crossed my arms, shivering as a cold breeze floated across the now pitch black sky, the sun vanished behind the horizon, the moon in its place.
“Let’s go home,” I said, already walking up the hill and to my house. My brother followed closely behind me.
Why have I been gone Lately?
Sorry I’ve been offline lately everyone, it’s a mix between writers block and lack of interest in writing. But I still dearly appreciate everyone here :D
The device I used to check Prose on stopped working for some unknown reason, so I’ve been checking Prose off a different device. I haven’t remembered as much to check Prose as before, but I’ll still try to stay somewhat active. Even if I show no activity for a month, just know I’m still here, and shall return every now and then :)
I haven't had as much motivation with writing as much as I used to, but know that I'm ok and doing well :3
Narrator: It's now month 3, and Voidkin still suffers from writer’s block.
Me: Shush, you’re not helping me think!
Narrator: She sits and stares at the blank pages, trying to stay active *just* enough on Prose so she’s not forgotten.
Me: Shut upppp
Narrator: Hoping to look back at her other posts for some ideas that have long been used.
Me: You just announce the obvious, stupid narrator...
Narrator: And there she is, getting distracted once again, yelling at the voice in her head. Her mouth at a loss for words and with a mind that is running out of storage.
Me: I WILL THROW A BRICK AT YOUR HEAD!!!!
*Bangs head on keyboard*
I’m sorry, I’m out of ideas.
Life means nothing
So there’s nothing.
Yet everything knows there should be something.
If there is no winner, why play the game?
Because it’s fun.
If life has no meaning, then why live?
But it’s nothing.
I can fight and win nothing.
Through all the tears, the pain shapes who I’m becoming.
But I’m still loving,
I’m still hunting,
I’m still something?
But it’s always meant nothing.
To you I was something?
To all the peasants he was something!
To all the knights who fought for his rough things,
Even for the ones in jail,
The queen impacted something.
And now it’s coming,
Coming, coming, coming.
The end is coming and I’m not ready to die.
But if life never meant anything to me before, why does it now?
Why shall it mean something when before it meant nothing?
Because now I’m dying and I missed loving,
Through all my judging, cussing, and hunting.
Looking for something, something, something.
But finding nothing, nothing, nothing.
And now I have to leave and walk away with nothing,
When I really did have something I just couldn’t see
So now I’m sad because everything is now something,
And it’s too late anyway,
So I missed all the sunshine waiting for the storm,
Only to find nothing.
It’s all so loving
I must return to nothing.
For I missed the few years where I got to be something,
Trying to find a meaning within a life that means nothing.