Falling into a black hole the way I want to go out.

Not a small black hole, though. If you fall into one of those, your body will stretch into a thin line like a spaghetti noodle, and you'll die instantly. Instead, I want to be thrown into a supermassive black hole.

You can survive for much longer in a supermassive black hole, and what you'll see in the hours before your death will be incredible.

As I fall, I'll look up to the stars. Tens of millions, even billions of years will pass before me in an instant. If I die in a black hole, I'll be the last person to ever live, since time inside it passes so much slower than the outside. Who knows, you might be able to experience the entire age of the universe before you croak, watching stars explode and seeing space expand until there's total darkness, and then silence.

To me, that's the best ending I would ever be able to see, and that's why it's my go-to death sentence.

My Amygdala-hippocampus connection is buffering and my hypothalamus is wondering why im not running?

Get the fuck out! My adrenal glands’ adrenaline now agrees. But my occipital lobe can no longer see a path to relax or escape this haunt of memory. No rest from the stressful regression to my tragedy of yesterdays. My cerebellum sought out for a silver lining like it plays to my general gray matter, and to me. While my thyroid sits indifferent watching its wristwatch silently. My vocal chords wincing is the only clue exteriorly; this sigh existing doesnt hide and comes to light aside the littony of grumpy glitched knitted-brow-twitches and what is undoubtedly a paled and blotchy epidermis.

My right seeks the purpose;

My left wants to cope,

From the top of my head to the tip of my toes all the way down to the end of my rope..

**this is written describing the onset of an episode of my PTSD. **

I breathe.

I'm trembling,

'It's ok. It's ok. Just delete it.'

My fingers shiver, my body quakes.

Tears squeeze out of my eyes.

The few teardrops turns to violent, distraught tears.

I breathe harder.

I feel cold, yet I'm sweating.

The phone is operating antagonisingly slow

I bite my fingernails

'Please'.

5 more likes, 4 more comments.

I whine- animal-like.

I hear worried whispers downstairs,

However, the quick-paced pings coming from my phone overpower them,

I cradle myself. My fingers wrap around my toes, my head falls to my knees.

I shudder, I cry.

Enough.

My sobs slow down.

I lift myself off the floor.

I try to delete the photo once more,

It works.

My voice cracks as I pray.

The damage is done though.

I see the nude image reposted,

Falling to my knees once more.

you see yourself as a single drop of blood upon the freshly-fallen snow & Horror holds your body as your Hummingbird soul finds Home in your Heart and your Body is a mirror made extant By existence and you might as well be hung because the two of you frozen just

stare

Click

Oh shit

Someone pulled the trigger

And here I go

Mind racing

Speeding to a halt

Never going fast enough

Yet no one can keep up

My emotions

Out of proportion

Battling critics

Out of control

Heart pounding

Breathing stops

Soul in tune with darkness

Expecting the worst

Right from the start

Body aching

Terror overtaking

Actual reality mistaken

Hope and faith escaping

Those I love

forsaking

This is what happens to me when I get triggered in to an emotional flashback, they are much different than an anxiety attack, but also can have a lot of similar symptoms. hope that you will still accept my entry.

Blood filled the streets.

Ariel looked down at her stained hands, horrified by the very tools she used to bludgeon a sinful mortal.

Black wings sprouted from her back. She then heard the voice of the Seraphim speak to her. “Welcome, sister. You are, at last, one of us.”

#horror

I’m in class trying to focus and my mind continues on an impulsive loop. Obsessive and unobtrusive hypotheticals fill my mind and I try to breathe through it and fail until I realize my sight is blurred and I havent been breathing at all. I start to feel nauseous and dizzy and tell myself I cannot have a panic attack or faint in class. That would be way to embarrassing and my subject of panic is only hypothetical which makes it even worst. My vision becomes laser and I think I have to get up and go to the bathroom before I pass out but I’m too scared I will fall before I get there so I choose to stay in my seat. Everything goes quiet around me and I focus on breathing and nothing more. My heart begins to slow down and my breathing becomes more regulated. The instructors voice comes back as a whisper then actual volume. I refocus and begin to take notes.

don't touch me. don't touch me SQUEEZE ME UNTIL MY RIBS CRACK but dont come near me, i'm having a heart attack and i'm going to throw up.

i'm dying. is this what it feels like to die? my heart is pounding and i can barely think straight and the ad i saw on tv tells me this is a heart attack but i can't move from this spot to chew aspirin, because i'm dying and HELP ME WHY WON'T SOMEONE HELP ME PLEASE i can barely think straight i'm dizzy.

i'm surely dying. my heart is exploding, blood or maybe spit is dripping down my lips and my hands are wet with sweat, i can't even open this door to call for help.

so here i'll sit, on this bathroom floor, waiting for the terror to end.