I love this thing
I know a lot about this thing
This thing is so cool
I want to know everything about it
Look at the small details about it
I have to analyze all of it
I need to know everything about it
Because I love it so much
I can’t wait to tell you about it
I need to teach you everything I know about it
I need to explain why it’s so amazingly perfect
It’s extremely hard to focus on anything but this thing
It’s hard to talk about anything else but this thing
Ballroom Garden: Hyacinth
Orchid was relaxing in their room listening to music. They didn’t have their binder on because they had worn it for the whole waking day already. A chest didn’t look right on them anymore but there was nothing more they could do besides binding. A loud knock made Orchid jump up from their seat and freeze.
“I know you’re in there, aren’t you done pushing me aside?” Hyacinth screamed from the other side, he must be very angry at this point. Orchid had been pushing him away out of a fear they couldn’t name.
“Don’t fucking ignore me, I know you can hear me now let me in.” Hyacinth pounded the door as Orchid hesitantly went to unlock the door. Hyacinth immediately opened the door as Orchid backed up. “I knew you’d give in soon enough.” He slammed the door shut and locked it. The bulky flower looked down at Orchid with disgust and eyed their chest. “God that’s pathetic isn’t it?”
Orchid crossed their arms over their chest to hide it, “It has to be like this sometimes you know this.” They didn’t make eye contact with Hyacinth and shook out of fearful anticipation.
“Whatever. We need to talk-“ Hyacinth grabbed Orchid’s shirt collar and threw them on their bed. “Don’t you have any damned self control with your body?”
“I- I don’t know what you mean-“ Orchid knew exactly what he was talking about but they didn’t want to talk about it.
Hyacinth got on the bed and held Orchid against the wall by their shirt. “One hell of a ballsy liar you are. I know you’re too much of a slut for the other flowers.”
“That isn’t true!” Orchid grabbed the hand holding their shirt.
“What do you not love me anymore?” He took a hold of their neck and held them higher up, choking them. “Trying to get rid of me? Abandon me again?”
“No- Not at” Orchid tried to speak through the lack of oxygen. “I lo-ve y-ou”
Hyacinth let go of them and took on a completely different demeanor. “Good lord- what have I done.” Orchid gasped and hyperventilated as the flower leaned them in to embrace them. “I shouldn’t have done that- I’m horrible to you.”
“It’s ok- you were just angry.” Orchid wrapped their arms around him and started to cry silently.
“How could I have done this- I shouldn’t be living at all.” Hyacinth started crying loudly.
Orchid took his shoulders and looked up at him. “Don’t say that. You need to be here as much as anyone else.” They reached up to brush his hair with their hand. “I need you here.”
“Thank you Orchid. I know you love me still.” Orchid smiled and hugged him again. “I should go now-“ Hyacinth got up suddenly and left Orchid’s room.
“What happened?” Orchid traced their fingers over their neck and sat on their bed alone. “Why am I like this...” They looked down at their hands and pondered.
Memes I made about Eternally Pactful
CW: suicide/death mentions this webcomic is not for the easily bothered
BDG OOC Memes
Darby proposing the suicide pact: I couldn’t give a shit about death.
Shaw talking himself into suicide with Darby and Arie: And that is no good is it. Is it? I’ve actually- I’m a little confused now-
Darby in general: MORTAL KOMBAT!! DADADUN DA DUNDUNDUN DADADUN DA DUNDUNDUN CHS CHS- There’s red bull in this mug- HIYAH!!
Shaw when Darby hands him a bottle of pills in the park: Am I safe?
Darby towards Shaw when he says they shouldn’t stab themself: I’m not your friend, and you have no say in what I do with my body.
Shaw’s first reaction directed at Darby to being dead: YOU PIECE OF GARBAGE-
Shaw’s second reaction to being dead: My second reaction was What the fuck? Hey Todd- What the fuck?!
Arie who lived through his suicide attempt and his partners didn’t: Is life quantifiable?
Uriel the archangel showing up: You’re wrong- and here’s why.
Uriel explaining that the main three shouldn’t be using their powers unless it’s absolutely necessary after they have all used their powers willy-nilly: You cannot get blood on the jeans during this or any step of the process- I cannot stress this enough. The consequences are dire.
Arie reacting to Shaw and Darby physically fighting: Yikes-
Me talking about the plot that I am creating right as I explain it: I haven’t necessarily figured out how this connects but I’ll get there-
Me figuring out how to fix the plot hole: REGGIE TAKE FUCKING NOTES-
Darby: We all die, you either kill yourself or get killed-
The main three: Whatcha gonna do? Whatcha gonna do?
Darby: Mom- I have something to tell you...
Darby’s mom: What is it sweetie?
Darby: I got an a-bor-tion
Arie playing Sail on the keyboard
Darby: SAIL! *kicks keyboard*
Shaw recording looking upset
Arie clapping the beat
Darby: Bop it! Bsh! Twist it! Nuughhr! Pull it! euoooh!
Darby arriving at the park where Arie and Shaw are waiting for them: You better watch out! You better WATCH OUT! YOU BETTER WATCH OUT! YOU BETTER WATCH-
Shaw trying to find a liquor store: I don’t even know which way the quiznos is-
Shaw: Throw down the keys!
Copy machine smashes to the ground
Shaw: I said keys!
Darby: I thought you said copy machine!
Shaw exasperated: Why the fuck would I say copy machi-
Darby talking Shaw and Arie back into the suicide pact: I saw you hangin out with Kently yesterday!
Shaw: R- REBECCA ITS NOT WHAT YOU THINK-
Darby: I won’t hesitate bitch- *stab themself in the throat*
Uriel: Sure you may be verified on Twitter, but are you verified in the eyes of God?
Also Uriel: I am disgusted, I am revolted, I dedicate my entire life to our lord and savior Jesus Christ, and this is the thanks I get?
Shaw: Hey bro can I get a sip of that water?
Darby: It’s not water
Shaw: Vodka! I like your style-
Darby: It’s vinegar
Darby: It’s vinegar, pussy.
Arie: And just remember- no one will ever be able to hate you more than you already hate yoursel- *sobs*
Shaw physically fighting Darby: STUPID ASS BITCH NAMED ELMO CANT BE-
Shaw towards Darby: Alright let’s tell each other a secret about ourselves- I’m gonna go first: I hate you.
Darby: I have no soul! Have a nice day!
Shaw: I don’t have one either.
Classic YT Animation Shitposts
Darby: Everybody’s seen the new tie-dye bagel trend!
Shaw: Yeah I have!
Darby: So tomorrow’s breakfast is about to get colorful-
Darby: It’s time to die!
Shaw searching for Arie after realizing he’s not with him and Darby in the afterlife: Timmy where are you baby? Mama wants to go home to get dr- go to sleep! Has anyone seen my son? Oh god- Timmy! That mother’s adrenaline is kicking in- TIMMY! I can see every equation! SCUZE ME MAAM HAVE YOU SEEN MY SON? He’s about this tall- clearly gay- but we haven’t had the talk. TIMMY ARE YOU IN THERE?
Shaw’s previous partner: Mark! I can’t believe how drunk you are!
Shaw: I am not drunk!
Partner: Yes you are!
Shaw: I am not fucking drunk!
Partner: Can you tell the time?
Shaw: *points at the clock* I am not fucking drunk!
Shaw realizing he killed himself: Just did a bad thing! I regret the thing I did! And you’re wondering what it is. Tell you what I did- I did a baaad thing.
I explain my webcomic so shitpost-like you can’t tell if it’s a good idea
The main cast consists of:
Tired angry dad
I am DISGUSTED I am REVOLTED I dedicate my ENTIRE life to our lord and savior, Jesus Christ, and THIS is that thanks I get?
God but she’s a rude high schooler
Tired angry dad is broke and sells himself to date Chaos and Smol. Ends up dying and is now in purgatory with Chaos and Smol is missing. Crisis
Things I’ve said on Discord
“I can already feel my snaity sliping aay”
(From a Homestuck server)
“HOH IT’S ANOTHER FRIEND IN MY STEW”
(From a server named “The Jew’s Stew”)
“WAIT WHY IS THE GROUP PHOTO SIMON COWELL”
(From a group that is named “hello lgbt fandom”)
“i am shaking at the fact that in the future i will be one of the few million people in this world who knows of a horrific trilogy that consists of urine”
(From “The rats”)
“BRO YOU WEARIN ARACHNID JIZZ”
(From “The Moonlings”)
“what good is a story without religious fascism”
“WE SHALL RISE TO THE TITLE OF GOD”
(On the opinion of study groups)
“upload the boy patch”
“what a good day to be a f*ggot”
“there is no context just babies saying death is inevitable”
(On Jack Stauber)
“god is a rude high schooler”
“idea: a d20 but it only has 6’s and 9’s. the twist? none of them are specified as either a 6 or a 9”
“ah yes witchcraft, the hobby where i can cast a spell using the power of Chuck E. Cheese”
“i am approaching”
“you owe me that soul, ilu mwah”
“i fucking jazzwalled that adopt”
“t!8ball gf da tiddy big?”
Ballroom Garden: Poppy
The lounge was empty, except for Orchid staring at his phone. He had been in there for hours, all by himself. He was so bored and tired, he hadn’t seen any flower at all that day. Just a full day without any sort of trouble, or positive stimulus. Orchid opened his contacts and started scrolling. That’s when his thumb hovered over her. Trumpet Flower. His face was blank, but all he could think of is how he missed her. It had been so long since they had talked. It’s not like she could talk anymore. He kept scrolling and saw Poppy’s number. His eyes lit up with curiosity.
“It’s been a while since I’ve been with him.” Orchid had broken off from Poppy just before Trumpet Flower had passed away. He remembered how lively Poppy was so he decided to sent him a message.
“Hey man, you wanna meet up again?” Orchid didn’t even have to think about the message or sending it.
Poppy responded immediately, “Hell yeah! I’ve got something new this time, you’ll love it man. Get to my room asap!!!” He was just as eccentric in text as in person.
Orchid smiled, excited to see what this new activity was. He got up and put his phone in his pocket. He walked out of the lonely lounge into the secondary dance floor. Everyone was standing around since there wasn’t a DJ up by the music set up. Orchid bobbed and weaved through the motionless crowd with ease and waltzed into Flower’s Hall. At the end of the hall was Poppy’s room, the door had all sorts of teen spirit crap on it, posters and stickers galore.
Orchid didn’t even knock as Poppy opened the door. “Bored or pissed?” He grinned at the shorter flower.
Orchid shrugged, “Bored mostly.”
“I’ve got the cure to what ails you regardless!” Poppy took Orchid’s hand and closed the door behind them. The room was atmospheric in a sense, the lights where colored dark purple and nearly every inch of wall had been plastered with some poster.
Orchid took a deep breath. “Whatcha got this time man?” He looked at Poppy with a smile.
The flower walked over to the beanbag chairs in the corner and fell back into one of them. “Have a seat and look at the table bro.” Orchid took a seat, there was a pill bottle on the nightstand between them. He picked it up and read the label.
0.5 mg, 100 tablets
“Dude this is just my anxiety med.” He put it back on the table.
“Oh it’s not just your anxiety med, it’s a benzo dude!” Poppy opened the bottle and got four pills out. He handed Orchid two of them.
“Wait really? I have a fucking benzo?” Orchid felt excitement creep into his mind as he looked down at his hand. The tablets were tiny, way smaller than the average flat lithium battery.
“Yeah man! Come on let’s pop ’em.” Poppy took the medicine and sank into his chair, waiting for Orchid.
The other flower didn’t hesitate to follow him. “Takes like half an hour to feel anything right?”
“Yup, but it lasts about 5 hours!”
“Damn and we have 100 in there?”
“Well, 96 now.” He laughed.
“Oh shit yeah.” Silence followed them until Orchid felt his eyes grow slightly heavier, his heart seemed to flutter and slow down, his mind calmed down. He laughed lightly, “Oh shit! That hits different!” He leaned back into the beanbag and giggled.
“Hell yeah man! You got the good shit!” Poppy was more reserved in his giggling.
“Dude, this fuckin rocks the boat, man.” Orchid put his arms up above his head. “This is so good.”
“Yeah man.” They both looked up at the ceiling for a while.
“Bro, you know what’s weird?” Orchid broke the silence.
“My aunt is dead. Like she fuckin-“ He made a face with his tongue sticking out to the side and laughed.
“Yeah that’s so fuckin’ weird! How’d she do that?” Poppy laughed with him.
“I don’t know!” Orchid kept giggling. “You know what else?”
“I’m gonna die too!”
“We all do!”
“Oh my god! What?” Orchid cackled.
“I wonder what that’s like dude.”
“No idea bro.”
“What about like the fuckin’...” Poppy got lost in thought.
“ Put some music on.” Orchid pointed upwards.
“Oh hell yeah!” Poppy got up and played a random playlist from his phone speaker. “This shit man.”
“Oh damn that slaps.” Orchid nodded to the slow beat of the song and closed his eyes. Nothing could be any better right now. He nodded off to sleep as Poppy sat back down.
Orchid woke up in the lounge on the couch. He checked his phone to see a text from Poppy.
“Carried you out to the lounge man after you fell asleep for the second time. Nice ass btw ;)”
“Oh shit-“ Orchid couldn’t remember being with Poppy at all. He got up and ran to the bathroom and looked in the mirror. His hair was a mess. He pulled down his shirt collar and his neck was decorated with hickies. “Fuck.” It happened again. It fucking happened again. He pulled up his collar again and stared into his eyes. “It’s what you asked for dumbass.” He knew what he did, but he couldn’t make himself regret it. At least, not this time.
Yes, I have problems, who wouldn’t in this world? But should I be crucified for such a hinderance upon my mind? I believe not- has this state of mind of mine halted the grievances of my peers? Of course not! We are a self preserving breed, we seek out our lives continuity above anything else. It is only natural for this healthy dose of selfish behavior to be present in each creature we call human.
“Your peers, so you see yourself without the company of platonic companions?”
None in the here and now, I may have met a few souls who were kind enough to hear me out on my personal perceived objections- but none who have taken the time to challenge me on the cognitive level. I believe a companion to be a soul that matches your own to a degree. A creature that can challenge you- and conversely- you to challenge them. Do not confuse my words here for constant confrontation- I speak of playful banter that causes one to exert their strengths- or to transfigure weakness into strength.
“Do you see yourself as misunderstood in this world?”
Misunderstood is quite the understatement- I am seldom perceived as the character that I am. Like a blind shepherd among his herd- he is, in many ways, more apt than the sheep- however he is only misfortunate in one area of his senses! The sheep assume he cannot lead because of his unfortunate ailment- for they have one quality he lacks- even so, the sheep have not reached his level of comprehension. They often reside inside their realm of comfort- the known- yet the shepherd desires to reach beyond that realm- he wishes to explore past what is amidst his psychology. The sheep fall short in the vast sea of his passion to learn. He wishes to find solace among another beast akin to him. The only way he can find those like himself is to pay a hefty price just to gain access to knowledge and souls.
“Ah, and the shepherd, he is not capable of conjuring up this cost?”
He would spend the rest of his life in such a debt.
“I see, and the shepherd is you?”
“It must be rough to be you.”
Rough? No no no, boring? Yes, that would make much more sense in my case. I am an active mind surrounded by passive people.
“I could only imagine that blessing often confused to be a curse.”
My mind goes untrained as I seek the right person to challenge. Reading gives me the unvaried pleasure of speaking to a companion.
“So you have stopped searching?”
No no no, I still search for the flesh of the minds I read about. Any one creature that embodies the very essence of the brilliant perceptions I have seen. From Mary Shelley to William Shakespeare- I desire to see a donnish mind in the flesh! Someone who matches my abilities and possesses the passion to go further. I will unearth this soul, or perish trying.
“With that psyche, I have faith that you will find them!”
“Ah, this concludes our time together. I look forward to hearing you again, you are a very intriguing beast indeed.”
Farewell for now, I shall return to speak again.
Hey- can you hear me?
I hope I’m using this thing properly, I’ve never had to before.
I suppose I should start before anyone wakes up.
It’s November 2nd, 3am.
Do you remember me?
How you ruined my life?
All I wanted to do was escape you.
But you kept me in your arms.
And mistook that for love.
You never listen to me.
So I’m hoping with what I’m doing here you will finally hear me.
You’ve put me through hell.
I feared when you came home.
I feared your disappointment in me.
I stayed away from you, so I wouldn’t have to be tormented by your rage leftover from work.
Also because of how you gaslighted me all the time.
Right... you probably don’t know what that is.
Gaslighting is when you make someone question reality.
Pretty shitty thing to do huh?
Especially to someone who experiences delusions and psychotic episodes.
Let’s see an example of what you did, shall we?
There was that one time where you tried to tell me I felt better off my meds.
In reality, those pills do nothing to aid my mood.
Being off of them is the same as being on them.
Horrible mood swings, impulsiveness, outbursts, psychotic breaks, and uh suicidal thoughts and or self harm.
Yeah I never told you about those.
I never told you anything because I knew you wouldn’t listen to me.
Last time I opened up about my feelings you said that you thought I was faking this for attention.
Bet that seems pretty stupid to think now doesn’t it?
Hopefully you’ll find this before you find me.
But yeah you’re a lot like my dad now that I think about it.
You two really tortured me the entirety of my life.
You said you’re bad with procrastinating.
I bet you wish you didn’t procrastinate with my mental issues now do you?
Yeah I hope you wish you could’ve known me.
But you were too stubborn to get to know a child you never wanted.
You probably think that I just ran away don’t you?
Do you even know what this is for?
You’ll probably find this in the morning before you’ve realized that I’m not at the house.
So let me tell you if you couldn’t figure it out already.
You’ll find out soon enough if I failed this time.
But yeah you did this.
I want you to live with the fact that you directly contributed to this.
You remember when you said that my problems weren’t as bad as yours?
Well because after you said that I prayed to all my deities to be raped by somebody.
So that maybe you would listen to me.
And take me seriously.
I’ve told my friends that I wished my dad wasn’t such a coward.
That I wished he had violated and beat me.
So that then maybe, just maybe, you would help me.
Instead of pushing me further off the edge.
You are a horrible person.
You’re just as bad as your ex-husband.
I hope you live with my death.
I hope I’m always in your mind.
I hope you always hear this when you see pictures of me:
I hate you, you did this to me.
You helped kill me.
You’re the reason I’m dead.
You’re the reason I went ahead and walked all the way to the highway and ran out into the cars.
Why I decided that getting struck by a hunk of metal going 70 miles an hour was better than living in the same house as you.
You did this.
This is your fault.
I hope you never forget that.
Seeking for reasons
Reasons for why I can’t tell what you’re feeling
Why new information about myself makes me mad
Why I think everything I see and hear is anger
Why I can’t tell what you want me to do
Why I struggle with some things that are so easy for people
Why I get so emotional over my senses
Why I focus so much on little details
Why I fantasize about my mind
Why I see myself as a villainous monster
Why I have trouble drawing facial expressions
Why I have a hard time making friends
Why I can’t make simple small talk
Why I can’t tell if you’re joking or not
Why I get so frustrated with people not understanding me
Why I have trouble imagining other’s emotions
What is wrong with me?
“Get up Bird Song. Beast is about to wake up again.” Creature prodded me and I quickly opened my eyes. The other wolf named Beast was stirring on the floor.
“What do we do Creature.” I looked into his pure white eyes with fear in my voice. I started to shake at the thought of Beast being simply awake again.
“There is no running from him, just don’t cave to his demands. He will not go out of his way to hurt you physically remember?” Creature embraced me, wrapping his arms around my back. He had a gentle demeanor at all times, never using his claws to hurt me. I place my arms under his.
“I know, I’m just scared.” I could see Beast’s eyes in the corner of the room, red the color of the aggressor.
“Bird Song,” Beast growled as he approached me and Creature. He ripped Creature from my arms and stared right into my eyes. “Feed me. Feed me!” He pinned me down onto the floor and snapped his powerful teeth at me. “Give me your blood, your life, your blood! Feed me let me take over. Feed me let me become stronger. Kill yourself for my hunger, Bird Song feed me now.”
“No.” I looked away from him. He wasn’t going to get my blood or life tonight.
“Good, just ignore him.” Creature was very faint but I still heard him.
Beast opened his jaws and placed them around my neck while growling. “I will take it myself, just do it already give it to me!” His teeth pressed onto my neck and it got harder to breathe. I knew he wasn’t going to kill me. There was no way Beast was able to hurt me that badly. I said nothing as he kept drooling and growling. “Just kill yourself already you need to feed me.” I still said nothing.
After a few long moments later Beast let go of my neck and went to sleep in the corner again. Creature came back up to me, “You did well.”
“It gets easier the more he wakes up.” I take up a seat in the far corner away from Beast and Creature. I wasn’t sure how much longer I could do this for.