Taped Up Orange Bottles
Popping pills to see what would happen, maybe the pain will lessen or soften. Deep slices on delicate flesh, cordless ropes around innocent necks. Swallow the fear so no one hears the faded tears blended into fake cheers. Wanting to die to figure out if life is real, never the effort, this is how I feel. The voice is all it is, sometimes the thoughts are hard to resist. Struggle to find why I exist, often seeking refuge in my inner abyss. Tired of what’s in my head, the lies I was fed fills me with so much dread. Destructive paths are where I was led, wishing I was dead prevents me from moving ahead. Pain is what you brought, filling my head with ludicrous thoughts. Help is what I sought, hope is why I fought. Everything is rushed, every word is hushed ; I lead to forgiving the ones who left me crushed. I search for what makes me complete, often questioning if things are truly concrete. Trial and error ; hatred has occurred, I reach out for my voice to be heard. I will prevail, you will be shocked at having failed to make me become something i’m not. Hell is where I was led, heaven is where I ended up instead. Left broken from all the times they lied, I finally realized it’s about the beauty inside. I realized all I bottled up in jars, learned to escape from toxic mental bars. To finally accept that all my scars are what makes me a superstar. A hug smile or kiss could do, a simple little gesture from me to you. Learn to live, laugh and love again, the mind is our friend and the world is our heaven.
Lovely Broken Minds
Broken, crushed, shattered ; pieces of the mind lay scattered.
Searching for the precise desighn, near or far it's hard to find.
Flooding thoughts turn into tears, making the screams hard to hear.
To play a toxic game that isn't fair, drowning, suffocating & lonely, it's scary up there.
Racing doubts of was I right or wrong, fool me to think I would ever be strong.
Fighting demons in my head, the voices and laughter slowly spread.
Sometimes the thoughts are hard to resist, upon action pleading cries of "it doesn't have to end like this".
A little change to notice how we feel, spoken out, we start to heal.
Crushed and scratched, this is me ; my broken mind is truly lovely.
Kayla, you are my best friend, I know you'll stick by my side till the end.
I love you more than I can ever express, having you in my life I am truly blessed.
I love your laugh and your style, even your smile spreads happiness for miles.
So, will you be cool and calm, go with the bomb.com (whisper that's me) and let me take you to my prom?
Your heart is my home
I lay my head on your chest, the beat of your heart being the only sound
I look into your eyes and sigh, you make my world go round.
You wrap me in your arms and hold me tight
You let me know everything's going to be alright.
I lightly brush my fingers through your hair
As we sing not having a worry or care.
We laugh smirk and giggle
Never had an obstacle too big or little.
We share a hug and a kiss
Hoping it'll always be like this.
We live laugh and play
Dear you, I will love you today and everyday.
I love you down to my very last bone
Your heart is my home.
The search within
I danced under the brightness of the moon,
the soft whistle of the wind being what I hear as the only tune.
Intruding thoughts of did I give up too soon,
barely leave any room for me think I would be immune.
It is tonight that I sit here allowing my mind,
to decide what is wrong and right.
Despite the constant fright that leaves a dark stain on my sight,
I delicately lay my body down in the pasture which soon fills me with delight.
The drops of rain gently trickle up my stomach and back down the length of me.
I come to find myself halfway submerged in mother nature’s pool.
I feel the breeze lightly rock my body in the shallow pond that has been created from the tears the gods shed.
I start to invite the blades to have a tingling bite of my delicate flesh,
in hopes it may ignite myself to feel my lungs grow tight.
I feel myself slowly sinking, in the toxic pool of my own thinking.
As my body delves into the drinking of the sins,
I begin the dance of shrinking in the pool of toxins.
I float downwards to the dark depths of the earth to soon find what I was worth.
I feel fucking dead.
I just wanna stay in bed.
All the lies I was fed, leaves me with so much dread.
I'm tired of what's in my head.
I hate the non stop thread.
The things they said, the tears I shed, destructive paths is where I was lead.
Heaven is where I fled, hell is where I ended up instead, death allows it to spread, preventing me from moving ahead.
The necklace that is in use, around my neck the beauty of the noose.
Never too tight, never too loose, sometimes the temptation brings misuse.
The lies that they produce cast it out as an excuse.
The beauty is used to induce the signs to years of abuse.
Snap, crack the body hangs flat, dripping from the mouth is juice, resulting from the final use.
I wear my noose like my necklace.