I smiled at you.

It’s always my first reaction.

Trusting.

Innocent.

Stupid.

In response, you rushed at me, pushing me back; clawing at my shirt; tearing it open; scratching.

Like the world does.

Your urgent kiss pushed me against the wall. Your tongue invaded my mouth.

Internally gasping, I responded; weak; powerless; shocked and excited.

Taken by surprise as usual.

Innocence overwhelmed by passion.

Immediately.

I kissed you back, pushing my excited body to yours. You felt my response and gasped at my desire.

I tore off your dress and threw you to the bed. My own clothes seemed to disappear in a whirl of motion and I was naked on you.

Biting my shoulder, neck, nipples, you pulled me down. Our eyes flashed as I entered you.

In minutes it was over.

You lay gasping and shocked; shocked at the intensity; shocked at the rapid response; shocked at what lies behind my smile.

Like the world is.

You should have just smiled back.

But the damage is done.

For I am Scorpio.

My real life cat loves demolishing cucumbers so, I think this is the cucumbers perspective-Ah...its nice and cool in the fridge, as long as no one eats me or takes me out of the fridge I'm safe. Oh no, the fridge is opening...I'm being captured! Wait, the human left me on the counter, wait a cat is approaching me. Ow, I'm getting scratched and I fell of the counter, my skin is getting bitten and then I saw the light, of the cat glaring at me. I am still alive, but then I got thrown away.

Death.

Even the word makes a room go quiet.

Falls on fearful ears and awkward hearts

They extend their arms in sympathy.

In the abstract they want to be there but in reality they run.

Who wrote the rules for grief anyway

Why are we so uncomfortable in its presence?

Instead, meet me boldly where I am and take a leap into understanding

Placing yourself on the same playing ground as I

Do not flinch and reach for a solution

Bare yourselves naked to it’s power

Grief is gripping

We must not run

We must not hide.

Embrace it as part of you

Just as much as it is part of me.

i see your fingers tremble.

i’m here, i’ve made it back

but i fear

my arms are too weak

to pull you here

to safety.

for years i watched you

up on the stage

under the lights

hoping

that you'd turn around

and see me

on the wings

you never did

oh, sure,

called me best friend

but you never saw me.

i was just a means to an ends

and when i put down my foot

you fumed and angered

and told me to leave.

i loved you, i think

in hindsight, more idolized

your pointe shoes and picture perfect grades

skinny jeans and house on the hill

dazzling smile and elegant pirouttes

how could i help

but be enchanted?

you moved on so easily

slid between worlds

but i was stuck

pretending to have friends

when i barely cared for them

for two years

i dreamed of you

silently pining

for the perfection you promised

my ballerina

who danced into my life

and just as quietly

slipped offstage

Yay! It is another grand coming out day.

Yet, remember anytime it's okay to be gay.

Each and everyone deserves to follow their passion,

Not just today to follow the latest fashion.

Please only come out if you feel safe.

You don't want to become a street waif.

One day we won't have to come out.

I am who I am we will shout!

What do I know, I'm simply a weremonkey,

But today we all deserve to get spunky.

She said

“Darling, I love you.

Yet I don’t know what for.”

I said

“Angel, I love you.

Yet I don’t know what for.”

She said

“Darling, you’re hurting me.

Yet I don't know... what for?

You’ve broken

My heart

In two.”

I said

“Angel, I have.

Yet don’t know what for.”

~Cotton Candy

Here am I

My job is done.

Children raised

The race is run.

I’m tired of this

Stagnant place

So tired of loneliness

Of empty space.

Tired of hurting,

And hurting ones

I value the most.

Tired of caring

And loving past ghosts.

Tired of being restricted

Tired of all the medications

That keep me constricted

I want to see the ocean at least

Once more

To walk on sandy beaches and play on the shore.

To be loved truly

To be home but I’m

Bound.

1. I have never, ever kissed a frog.

2. I don’t own a washer or a dryer, so I’m currently sitting in a public laundry room waiting for my spin cycle to reach its end. There are three women sitting diagonally to my left, and one man on my right.

3. In second grade I woke up one hazy morning, trudged into the bathroom, and screamed when a frog jumped up at me from inside the tub. My parents told me they found it at the public pool and brought it home for me. I wasn’t sure I liked their gift. A few days later, I released it in my elementary school’s garden area. I bet a snake got it.

4. There are posters all over the laundry room advertising how you can “Pay with your phone!” I would rather pay with quarters if the machines let me. Whenever I find a coin on the street, I only take it if it’s heads up. If it’s tails, I flip it over and leave it for the next person.

5. I wish I had been the kind of kid who was willing to kiss a frog at least once.

Let’s kiss scars and compare our contrasts, whispering of new things remembered - old things forgotten and all the bullshit in between while fucking ourselves silly till we no can longer speak. Share lungs just to breathe then fall asunder to keep dreaming to keep waking for better things to come and come and

sleep.

We’ll wake hand in hand taking long walks edging all those middle of nowheres, turning down dirt roads riding each other top speed through the bush to show Mother Nature the full belly of our beasts...

we'll frame memories in heartbeats and lost breath

but first

Shhh...

be silent a moment

and just lay back,

give me

a chance

to react before

I become your prey

those eyes, hypnotic

they mesmerize me

and I need to

develop you within

fully completely before

I give in and let you

devour me whole

animal and all as

You howl and I crawl

and the night evolves

into all that follows