Life Story

I recently read an Atlantic article by Julie Beck called "Life's Stories" wherein the writer claims that "Any creation of a narrative is a bit of a lie." We all need these creative lies to make sense of the world, to find meaning, and sometimes to just make it through the day. I have been a voracious reader since childhood, and so when asked to share one story that most impacted my life, looking back at my 51 years, I am unable to pinpoint just one. When I reflect, the multitudes of narratives I've read throughout my life bubble forth much like a kaleidscope reflecting constantly changing patterns from the small bits of each story that I can remember; and there's the rub: My lack of long-term memory embarrasses me. Even with books that I've read more than once, sometimes I can't even remember the main plot! That being said, if forced to choose, I would pick Proust's In Search of Lost Time as probably having the longest-lasting impact on me overall. Besides details such as the infamous Madeleine scene and the young Marcel longing for his mother in the darkness of his room, more importantly, I remember the impact of Proust's long-winded sentences and paragraphs leading to a great reward: such beautiful language! Some insight! Now that it has been over a decade since I read Proust, I am still a lot like the person I was when I read In Search--melancholy and ruminative much like the fictional and factual Marcel. But I've come along ways in recognizing that it is getting lost in rumination that causes the most suffering: longing for what was rather than savoring the present. I still have a ways to go, but mindful meditation practice along with solid experience with life struggles, has helped me to grow and mature and to finally achieve something like happiness.