Keeping darkness away with a candle

Staying warm with only embers

The candle is almost done

The embers almost out 

Blackness awaits

I go to the bar looking for a buzz

I gulp down one beer, quick

Order my second beer, sip

Absorb the surroundings, shit

I hate everyone here, fuck

I wonder if she wants to talk

"Hello, how are you?"

Her eyes roll

"I was wonder..."

She walks away

Yes, one more beer. Thank you.

Silence. 

Silence.

Silence.

I am tired of jerking off

Pleasuring myself for the sake of itself

Tired of striving to impress

Exhausted from effort

And resigned to the fact of loneliness

I've done what I can

Shown the skills I have acquired 

Told the jokes I have learned 

And have thoughly come up empty

How do others make it seem so easy

I am afraid I dont know how

The days keep rolling 

Day, night, day, night

Seemingly nothing changes

Until it does, inevitably 

A longing for the past, familiarity

Substances are becoming abundant

Fogging mental clarity

Emotions are running rampant

Sometimes I just can't stand it

I wish I was happier, more joyous

The guy I project to the public

Of that guy I'm jealous

It's the moment I'll never forget

But never really quite remember

The push, the pull, crunch and crack

Across the lake they heard the snap

Arms broken, bent and misshapen 

In a delirious state I was left in

Pitter pat the mouse ran fast,

But Peter the cat would have little and less to do with that.

Pitter patter the mouse ran faster, but

Peter purred for food from master.

Peter doesn't partake in chase after measly morsels such a mouses.

Only after laser dots in houses. 

All this is fine for this feline

known fondly as Peter the benign.