A family is around grieving their loss of their granddad as he passes away. The grandfather sees them grieving from what looks like a portal. But he is well aware that he has already pass. His body slowly floats down and his eyes stay glued to the portal until he can no longer see it. He settles on a puddle. And lays in the puddle still staring upwards but looking at nothing. Slowly it feels not that he is sinking, but the puddle is pulling him down. Pulled under water he is now being slowly pulled deeper and deeper into the water. But the water is strange as it isn’t blue, it isn’t clear. It’s dark as if you are watching the tide at midnight. A darker water that you cannot see out of. As he gets pulled deeper and deeper eventually he falls out of the water. And begins to free fall. As he is falling multiple beings that seem to be floating keep coming to his side. What is your name? Every being that he seems to pass asks him this question. At first he answered quickly and very resolute. My name is Albert Page. Another being asks What is your name? my name is Albert page he answers quickly. He keeps falling and more keep asking. What is your name? My name is Albert. What is your name? it’s Albert. He continues his decent and yet more keep asking the same question. What is your name? It’s Al he states. What is your name? It’s Al. His plummet continues and it seems to be never ending. Finally, he smacks against a surface. But strangely he’s not hurt, even after falling for so long. He gets up and is greeted by someone. He has trouble making out his face. Then the person asks him again. What is your name? My name is Ah ah…… The A sound keeps coming out but he can’t say anything. It feels as if it is on the tip of his tongue yet he cannot say it. Finally he gives up, I don’t know what my name is. The person hugs him and invites him in. It’s ok none of us have names either. He follows the person through a gate and he see’s a flurry of people in this area. He continues to follow and is in awe, of all the people gathered. All of them greet him as he walks through the town? Village? City? He wants to call it all of these things. But realizes he has no idea what any of them mean. So he ignores it and just continue to walk through. He stops for a moment and sees a man and a woman sitting together. Tears start coming to his eyes as he stares at them. The person turns and tells him that he should go greet them. The man slowly walks over and says hello to the two. They greet him back and he asks why are they sitting together away from everyone. They say that they feel more comfortable when it is just the two of them. He asks if they know each other and they both say no they can’t remember if they have ever met. The woman said she arrived one day and saw the man sitting alone. She felt drawn to him so she went and sat next to the man and they have been there ever since. She stares at him and puts her hand on his cheek and said “I don’t know why, but speaking with your has put me at ease as well. I hope you have been well”, she said with a soft smile. “Yes, I have been. Thank you.” The person then beckons him to follow. The man says goodbye and leaves to follow the person. The person then explains, that is just the type of world this is. A world of nothing. Nothing is known and there is no need of it. He explains to the man that he has passed from his world to this one. The knowledge of one world cannot be brought to another. Do you remember when falling, being’s asking you questions. Yes. Yet you cannot remember the question they asked nor your answer to it. Other’s have strong attachment to the world they come from and often retain some of the information. They are sent to another area. Here there is nothing and everything. There is no pleasure here, it is not needed because pain is not known. Starvation is impossible if no one knows hunger. Here all the plights of the world you knew is not known. But what of my name. What of me. Why do you need a name. Well for other’s to call to me. They can just walk up to you can they not. But how will they recognize me. I look the same as everyone else here. Must you look different. When being’s are different they are ostracized regardless of how small their differences are. Even in the world you came from those who were different was persecuted and treated in horrible manners. Even as your world grew to be more connected and equal, still those who were different are still thought of negatively are they not. Simply because of how one looks they are thought to act a certain way, think a certain way. They are never seen for them. Here you can be seen as yourself, because all that is left is you. Ok, Fine fine. But even then the structures I see, the beings running on four legs, I feel as if I know everything, but I cannot. If you have need, we have a gathering. They are named ADAM. Created to try and name those beings and structures that you see. You can join them if you see fit. The have decided to collectively call the animus and will begin to start naming individual members of the animus. Animus, yes, yes, that sounds quite ok. That may be correct. Well continue your journey. I have things to attend to, don’t be afraid to come to me, if you see me walking around. How will I know it’s you, we all look the same. As he put his hand on my shoulder. Indeed. That was all that was said. The being then walked away.

I continued my walk around. I stopped by ADAM, the group of beings attempting to name the animus. As they discussed, it seemed to be more confusion than anything. After all they don’t recognize anything here it would be hard to name and differentiate them that way. While they are clear different from us and different from each other. We have no idea why. One animal walked up to me tongue out, tail wagging. I kneeled down and petted it. The animus then jumped on its back and exposed it’s mid section, which I then rubbed it’s belly. “Dog” I said. Can we name this one a dog. They were impressed by me. “We did not expect a new member to come and bestow such a great name on this being.” “This being and those who are similar to this being will now be a dog.” Once again I felt a hand on my shoulder and it’s a being. The same being I met when I first came I believe. “Great job, they have been struggling with that for a while now.” “On your first day, you have contributed greatly.” Is there anything else you could think of a name for.” “For some reason I felt like I should not say anything more.” “No, I guess I just got lucky with this one.” “Hmm, it would seem so.” The being then walked away from me again. What a weird encounter that was. I decided to distance myself from ADAM and walked away. Dog followed me, made me feel a great relief? But that doesn’t seem like the word. There was something else near me. A being moving around on it’s stomach. It spoke to me. “Hey, your new here right. You must have been really attached to your world.” “What makes you say that?” I asked. “Well that thing next to you, the dog that you named. That is the exact name that it has in your world.” When he said that it’s as if my mind cleared a bit. “NO wonder it just felt right. Maybe this dog in my world had a sort of relationship with me. Same with that couple that was sitting on the bench.” This world I’m in is so hard to get used to, if feels like I know so much yet, everything disappears as soon as I’m about to vocalize it.” The serpent then asked me if I wanted some help. “Help with what” I asked. To remember some of what you loss. I know your not supposed to, but I can’t bear to see someone so lost like you. The being then led me to an area that had an altar. There was a round object on there. I was confused. The being then crawled up and rested on my shoulder. It whispered to me to eat the object. “Why”, I asked. The being explained, “This world is connected to yours in a way, which is why you ended up here. It’s impossible to stop all knowledge from another world from entering this one. So instead that being, the first you encountered when you got here. Stored it all in this object.” This object here, I picked it up. It had a nice smell to it I thought. “Too bad there’s only one I can’t be the only one feeling this way.” “There is more than one, but that being leaves this one here as a sign of trust between it and the others.”

So what do I do I asked. It’s simple you pick it up and take a bit of it. “A simple bite” “yes, All it takes is one and your mind will be clear.” I believed the being I don’t know why and took a bit of this object.” As I chewed I realized, hmm this fruit is really good.” “This what the snake asked.” “Fruit, it’s probably one of the best I have ever had in my life.” “You didn’t know what the name of this was just a moment ago, now your saying it without a second thought.” I realized the snake was right and as I looked around I noticed that I recognized everything now. I realized that snakes can’t talk in the world that I’m from. “Well this is a different world”, the snake explained. “Now what”, I asked. “I don’t know”, the snake answered. But it’s best if you don’t let that first being know that you eat the fruit. Could spell a bad end for you.” Is that being the God of this world” I asked the snake. “Yes, but he’s more than just the god of this world. Hopefully you never find out.” The snake slithered away after saying that. I still don’t understand what he meant. I began walking back to the village. I’ll go to the ADAM organization and help name the animals. Well animus here. We can name them the same as animals from my world, it’ll help everyone move on. Though there are some I don’t recognized, extinct animals maybe. As I walked back to where the gathering was. I saw the people still standing there. But something was strange, they weren’t talking and instead looking at me. Then I saw the original man in the middle that I spoke to when I first arrived.

Is something wrong sir.

Yes, I often like to stand here and watch the people. I wonder what they think of me. Then I wonder what I truly think of them. Funny I can't find the answer to either one. Getting in their heads is impossible so it's understandable I don't know what they think of me. But I'm in control of my own mind at least most of the time. Yet I still don't know.

Well I'm sure they think fondly of you sir. You do your upmost for them.

Yes, yes, yes, thanks for the pointless flattering . I don't want you to stroke my ego. I wanted input. I mean look at them l, they don't know what I do for them. At least not really. When prices go down I'm praised. When they're increase I'm ridiculed. I mean a 10 - 20% increase and they’re damn near ready to revolt. Regardless of good I've done it only takes a couple bad things for them to completely turn. Makes sense most of them live a busy life. No time to think of the broader things. Why it seems as if they have more money lately, why things have been moving more smoothly in their life. They just think it's been a good couple of years. The most they hear from me is from their news networks and they hardly explain anything properly. If they explain it at all. Half of the news is meant to kiss my ass. The other is meant to try and cut my head.

Has the job gotten too stressful sir, perhaps a break would do some good.

No it's not that I just need to think things through. It's unfair is what I'm getting at. Leader of a country in any form. President, Emperor, Councilman, Congress. The benefits are just as great, but unfair still. At least when your someone who tries. But I can't deny I often make bad decisions. I make them purposely knowing they are bad decisions. The people don't know what you need to go through to keep them satiated. Invasion of country, international turmoil or pressure that needs to be aided or ignored. All to keep the peace. The peace here of course I could care less of others. Sometimes I think dictators have it right. But I can't shake the uneasiness of dead smiles. Could I explain why I started that war. Could I explain why I'm allowing it. When it all gotten so complicated that even I am starting to forget the reason.

Then people question my morals. I stopped making decisions on my morals a long time ago. Morals don't feed people, protect people. Everyone and again I get to make the moral decision, but because it's a savvy move. Not because of some stupid moral compass. I came into the game too late there are too many systems already in play. I feel as though my decisions are premade before I even get a chance to think.

If I could suggest something sir, you are the one in power now. Why not simply break the system.

Breaking the system would take a lot longer than I will be here. Even if I make a couple cracks in the road. The one after me, will find it easier to simply fill the cracks in than pave a new road. I would have to become something we vowed not to have. At least temporarily. Then I'd have to trust myself that I'm able to give it up when the time comes. But still that's more likely than someone similar to me coming in and continuing my work. Sigh, maybe it's better being a puppet, at least I know the decisions aren't mine. It's like customer service worker, it's easy to deny someone in need when you know the decision isn't yours. But the CEO of said company wouldn't be able to say no as easily if they were in that position.

How did they do it in the past. It was so much easier then. Less people, less money, less things to care about. You could generalize more things and more people. But now there's too many of everything, to many different ingredients to try and throw them all in the same pot. It'll just end up tasting like shit.

If I could interject here Sir. You say things were much easier. Do you mean easirer to manipulate. There was indeed less of everything and less education as well. The people could get manipulated into believing almost anything. Now there’s more information avenues, more education, more individuality. The people now need clear reasons for actions, unlike those of the past. Such reasons such as, they hate us because we’re free would not work anymore.

There’s never a clear reason in this world. To try and give it a generalized reason will make it sound worse than what it is. Simple answers always sound heartless and while they are the core of the reason ball. The outer layer of the ball is the reasons that will be tangible for the everyday person. But explaining those reasons are more difficult. To say we are invading another nation, because it will decrease the price of certain products, bring in jobs, bring in money, and ease a mountain of other things. Would need further explanation, which would lead to the simple answer. At the same time beginning with the simple answer and expanding it to the outer layer would need more explanation inbetween. Which is why we need the trust of our people. But those before me been lying for too long and peeling back all those lies will make the government look worse and lose more trust. I have to keep the secrets for the good of the nation. Once their trust completely collapse, what would we be? I don’t know the answer and don’t want to know the answer.

There’s a distrust that’s been created between the government and people. Clearing the air to ease that distrust, would cause more distrust. So, you choose to keep the secret. Keeping the secrets, doesn’t allow you to give clear reasons, and so you must manipulate the people causing more distrust. You seem to be in quite the paradox sir. When did it all start you think?

Probably once we gained real power. Once you are the top of the food chain, you reasons become unnecessary. But you must have them for the people to follow you. Nietzsche said morality is for the weak. The strong has no reason for it. We simply started imposing our will onto others. Gained control and now that we are weakening a bit, we are adverse to releasing even a fraction of the control that we have. Spreading ourself too thin. Our country is Young, by the world standards. Maybe we feel we cannot make a comeback from a defeat. Or don’t want to find out if we can.

So what will you do Sir?

I have a meeting at 3, a press conference at 6, and briefing at 9pm. I quick nightly workout, shower, and sleep. Wake up in the morning, I’ll still feel the same as now, and I’ll carry on. Because I’ve already gotten the job that’s all I can do. Maybe I can make a few minor changes that they will keep, but if not I’ve already given up. It won’t matter much to me.

Robert returning to bed after a mid sleep bathroom break heard a knock at his door. He paused for a moment and looked at the clock on the night stand. “it is very much 3am the man thought, I am not answering that. It is probably the wind anyway.” Robert ignored the knocking and went back under his covers to return to the dream he was having about his job burning down and getting tomorrow off. But there was another knock, he continued to ignore. And then more knocking, getting louder and louder until finally he thrusted the covers off his body and ran downstairs to see who the hell bother’s someone at 3am. As he reached the door, some sense finally came to him, it’s 3am and someone is banging on my door. He paused for a second and went to grab his gun from the top of his coat closet. Maybe someone’s in trouble or maybe it’s someone looking to cause trouble. Robert hid the gun on his side and opened the door. But darkness was all he was greeted with. He peeked his head out the door and looked both ways and nothing. No one, no wind, no animal, just darkness. He closed the door and went to put his gun back, then he heard a knock, this time it sounds like it is coming from the kitchen window. Now he begins to get nervous, before he was bolden by his sleepless state, but now he’s aware of what’s going on. All the lights are off in the house and he slowly creeps to the kitchen, to the window where the knocking is happening. He opens the window and yell, “Who the hell is it”, but no answer, just a branch blowing in the wind. He closed the window back and stopped to take a breather, his heart is racing now. The fear is starting to set In so he goes to the fridge to grab some water to calm himself, as he goes to take a sip. Another knock, this time from the back door, the man runs to the back door and quickly throws the door open, causing it to hit his back light and breaking it. But still only darkness is there to greet him. He quickly closes the door and goes to sit in the living room.

Fear is starting to get a hold of him and his hands are shaking. He lives on the outskirts of town, nothing but nature around him. The knocking could be anything wind, animals, he starts to think this and calms down. So he heads back upstairs to go back to sleep, anxiety just happened to get the best of him this time. As he goes to lay down, a shiver goes down his spine, knocking, knocking, sounding as if it’s coming from everywhere. It’s getting louder and louder, he falls to his knees putting his hands over his hears. But still it won’t drown the knocking out, he goes to scream and suddenly. Nothing, silence, no knocking, no wind, no anything. Only the sound of the doorbell. The doorbell is a welcoming sound, it must be someone from town. His doorbell is ringing at this time at night, HIS DOORBELL IS RINGING AT THIS TIME OF NIGHT. Who would be ringing the doorbellat this time, is it the same person who was knocking on the door. He doesn’t want to answer, but it rings and rings and rings again. “FUCK”, he yells as he grabs his gun. I’m coming, I’m coming just wait a moment. He gets to the door and takes a second to take a deep breath and gather himself. Then the ringing stops and instead another knock at the door. Once again the door flies open and what standing there is darkness and nothing more. He grabs his head, “what the hell did I miss”, because all he sees as he looks out is darkness that’s it. “Fuck this someone is playing tricks, so closes his door and walks out into darkness abyss.

He begins walking down a dark path and there’s a misty rain outside, as he crept down the path. He jumps out of his skin as he sees a silhouette. He stares at it, but can’t make out what it is. Slowly one foot in front of the other he creeps up. He cocks his gun and begin’s asking questions. Hello, was it you that knocked on my door. I didn’t answer because it’s late and I was trying to fucking sleep. Then you pressed my doorbell and kept knocking, but when I opened the door no one was there. Why are you playing games so late at night. As he got closer and closer he clenched the gun tighter. He pushed some branches out the way and pointed his gun, but there was nothing there. But there’s a light in the distance, another house with it’s porch light on. The man didn’t remember another house being there. He swears he was the only house in this part of the town. Could it have been them that was toying with me. Even if it wasn’t maybe they saw someone out here. Enough thinking he goes to the house and begins to knock. The man knocked twice and waited a moment, the light is off now, but it was definitely on as I walked up. They must still be up. No way they fell asleep that quickly. He knocked once more, still no answer. They must be up, so the man makes his way to the side and then knocks on the window. He waits a moment, still no movement. The rain is starting to make him feel cold and he looks and sees a back door. He quickly rushes to the door and knocks twice more, louder than usual. They surely heard that, even if they were sleep they have to be awake now. But still no one, so he makes his way back to the front. Why won’t they answer whoever my neighbor is, must be bastard. Anger got the best of him, but he took and breath and calmed down. The events of the night just has him on edge. As he walks bout to the front, he sees a door bell. How lucky he thinks, how did I miss it the first time. He rings the doorbell a couple times and no one answers. And then knocks once more. Still ignored. Well whoever lives here I must have missed them and he turns back to walk into darkness abyss.

Terrence and Holly a couple just getting back from a game night with friends are heading off to bed. As they begin to slip off their clothes to get ready for bed, there’s a knock at the door. Holly did you hear knock, Terrence asked. Holly still a little buzzed says she didn’t hear anything and may Terrence is drunk. Terrence doesn’t think much of it, it’s late and maybe the wind’s just blowing. Then another knock and another, each one louder than the next. Now Holly notices and is a bit worried, Terrence thinks maybe, they forgot something at their friend’s house and hey brought it. He goes down and opens the door, but no one is there. Maybe I really am drunk he thinks. Then makes his way back up the stairs to bed, but then there’s a knock at the window. Now he’s getting creeped out, Terrence slowly creeps towards the window and flashes his phone’s flash light, but no one is there. Now a knock from the back door, Terrence, annoyed dashes to the back door and once he gets there. Once again no one’s there just darkness to greet. Ding dong, he hears the ring of the door bell. Terrence doesn’t know what to think, he grabs his bat in the hallway closet and slowly approaches the door. He swings it open with a shout, but still there’s no one. Holly now comes down stairs asking what’s wrong, she heard the doors opening and closing. Terrence explains someone is playing pranks and he’s going outside to see what’s going on. Terrence rushes outside, bat in hand and begins to walk down the path.

Soon Terrence realized his mistake of walking into the darkness with just a basebal bat and nothing else. He lives out in the woods and there’s no lights just pitch black. He could start wildly swing his bat, but all he will hit is a tree and not much else. Still he continued walking down the path and he sees a silhoutee in the distance. He slow approaches and yells. Terrence Raises his bat and Robert raises his gun, Terrence drops his bat and now just his hands are raised. “please don’t shoot”, terrence pleads, then Robert lowers his gun. Was it you who was at my home knocking on the door, the window, ringing my door bell. Terrence tells him it wasn’t him, but someone just did the same at his house. Robert explains that it was him, that did it at his house. He didn’t know someone else lived out in the woods and wanted to ask if they saw anyone. Terrence as well thought no one else lived in these woods and that he had never known another house until now. But there’s another problem.

Robert told Terrence he should have made it back home by now, he’s been walking the path for 10 minutes yet has not gotten any closer to his house. Terrence, suspicious asked Robert what way did he walk. Robert explained that he only walked straight the entire time and yet he cannot get back. Terrence said he will bring him back to his house, but he has to give him the gun. Robert untrusting as well. Simple takes out the mag and tosses it Terrence and empties the bullet in the chamber as well. Reassured Terrence starts to lead the way back to his house. They walk for what seems like 30 minutes, but never make it back to Terrence’s house. It’s weird Terrence only ran a short distance, he should have at least seen the porch light by now. But nothing, just darkness no matter how much they walk forward. They both begin to worry and Terrence takes his phone to call Holly. There’s no signal, the call won’t go through. They both begin to worry, but suddenly they see a light and a house in the distance.

Robert and Terrence creep up to the house, the light is on and you can see through windows. There’s no one there it’s a empty house. Robert explains he already been through this twice and tells Terrence that they should look around first. They go to the side of the house and look through the window and see a kitchen. Robert looks confused. Terrence asks what’s wrong, Robert explains that this kitchen looks exactly like his. Having similar things isn’t that uncommon I guess he thinks and ignores it. But still they see no one in the house. Then they walk towards the back of the house. To which terrence sees, a kayak and a couple bikes in the back. Terrence explains the bikes and kayak looks the same as the ones he has at home. There is only one outdoors shop in the town, if he bought them through the same shop then it makes sense. Still they see no evidence that someone maybe home and why would they leave the lights on. Are they scared of the dark then why live in such a dark forest. Even if they are afraid the waste of energy is ridiculous. The two make their way back to the front door and Terrence goes to knock. Robert Grabs his hand and waves his finger. Told you I’ve been through this a couple times. Robert looks and sees a doorbell. He presses the button and hears a loud ding. But it sounds as if the ringing is coming from outside the house as well as inside. They wait a moment and hear someone walking towards the door. Then the door slowly creeps open.

Lucius Collantinus : Don’t ask me what’s right or wrong. Ask me, “what’s the better story.” As of now I’m just a man. A man of war, a man of great love for his wife. I’ve been sick of this regime for years. I’ve been so tired of leaving my home and pledging loyalty to a idiot, that can’t control his own urges. I’ve always believed in my wife, believe that when I’d return she’d wait for me. During the last tour that fool Sextus had the thought that he could bed my wife and then decided to turn it into words said in my direction. He thinks himself a prince, just because his father wear’s a crown. But he is no King, I’ve heard the people speak, there’s no love, there’s no respect for Lucius. He’s a Tyrant and he needs to be dealt with. And you my loving wife gave the reason to rip the crown from his body, even if his head must come with it.

So I will give you a chance, one chance. You can be tried and convicted as an adulterer, maybe your lover Sextus may spare you. But trust me you are simple a dime a dozen, his harem is as expansive as the flowers in the royal garden. However, you can die a faithful, loving wife, that was brutally assaulted by a beast in human clothing. How would you rather be remembered, what would your Father, your brothers, your Mother think of you. Could you bring such shame on to them and on to me. Even if you don’t care about shaming us, what about our son, will you allow him to grow holding such shame. Take this knife in your hand and think about what you truly care about. If you even have an ounce of love for this family, you will drive this into your heart. The same way you already drove a knife through my heart when you decided to allow that man into our home.

Lucretia: So what would you have me do Collantinus. Kill myself. What would you have me done, he is the Prince. Refuse him and then what. Do you truly think he would have kept me pure, if I said no. You don’t say no to Sextus, you don’t say anything. You grit your teeth and wait for it to end. You think the other wives have been spared. Those who refused, husbands have never return from war. But fine, you want me to die your faitful wife. Spare you the shame of having to come to this home. And spare you the fact you don’t have the balls to kill me yourself.

Lucius Collantius: Nothing comes If it’s my sword that impales you. I just become another a husband who couldn’t take the fact that Sextus, bedded his wife. That means nothing, even if I attack him, they will just look at me as a disgruntled husband whose wife was taken. Lucretia you were always seen as the wife most committed to their husband. Those who enlisted with me often spoke of their jealousy. Sextus will not hold is tongue, he will brag to everyone, that none is safe from his sword. Even one considered the most faithful woman in Rome, fell to her knees in my presence. Even she laid on her back to gain my favor.

Lucretia: Is that what you think of me?

Lucius Collantius: It doesn’t matter what I think of you, it matters of other’s perception.

Lucretia: We could run.

Lucius Collantius: I will not abandon my country. It’s the land that birthed me and raised me to a man. Either we live in shame or you die a faithful tainted wife and I live as a vengeful husband.

Lucretia: If that’s the story you wish to tell. Hand me the knife, I’ll do what you wish. If you even have a ounce of love left for me. You will ensure that bastards head ends up on a spike. Know that I loved you and I hated every moment. Goodbye, my love.

Spurius: Was this truly the right thing to do.

Lucius Collantinus: It doesn’t matter what was right. History will start from this moment. Sextus caused an innocent married woman to commit suicide because of his actions. My next course of action is to kill that bastard. The death of his son will cause the King to turn his attention to me. The only course of action is to overthrow the king. The price of assaulting my wife, will be the death of the Royal family. I’ll burn their damn castle to the ground. I’ll usher in a new era of Rome. One where those who protect the country don’t have to worry about coming home to their wife being Tainted by a spoiled man child.

Spurius: But you know it’s a lie. While Lucretia did not want it, she did not protest.

Lucius Collantinus: AND WHAT DOES THAT MEAN! She didn’t protest because she couldn’t protest. Sextus knew this as well. I didn’t want her to die either but it had to be done. Everyone knows what the truth is. Everyone knows what kind of woman she was, no one will belive Sextus. And those who do will resent him even more. Now go announce her death and gather the men. We ride to Sextus mansion tonight. There will be one less prince in a matter of hours. I will no longer be a good man, but what I build will be Great. I will ensure she will be remebered fondly in history and I’ll build an empire in her honor.

I wanted to be something once, something more than what I am. Now as I look out in this snow covered world I just wonder whose next. I see the mother’s being strung along by their children and I don’t even feel envy anymore. For me to bring a child into this world, would be to throw them into a pit of snakes, not knowing which will bite you next. I still remember the incident that made me this apethetic shell, dressed like a human.

What is fear, I always thought that I didn't know the answer. That was until I took a step back, I always had a fear of killing which took precedent even over my fear of death. The thought to kill another was too much for me to bare. Then my fear of death became a fear of loss. That fear didn’t last long because I already lost everything. I never realized what I was truly scared of until he killed everyone that I care about. Until I was locked in this wardrobe with two knives in my hand praying he doesn't find me, hoping he doesn't hear my breath. As he rummaged through the house he came up to my hiding place and swung the doors open. At that moment my will to live over came my fear of death and drowned out my fear of killing. With those two knifes, I stabbed them in his chest. Again and again and again until I finally opened my eyes. If you’re wondering how the cops showed up. A teenage girl, running and screaming down the street covered in blood. May cause a few concerned neighbors to dial 911. A mid summer night, yet I never felt colder. They wrapped me in that rough blanket and still it felt as if a cold wind was blowing my way. I couldn’t stop shivering. I killed one, I never thought I’d kill another. A man who was forcing himself on me, I blacked out and next thing I know a knife was in his chest the same as that night. Once again the shivering would not stop. After him was another and then another and honestly that feeling went away and it became commonplace though I'm not a mass murderer unless you consider it murder for killing those who harm another. The first time I killed was fear of death the second time I killed was in protection of my self. The third time was in protection of another. I'm not a hero but I may have been called one that night. I saw a man in the early morning in a alley near a local bar. As I looked at his build he is stronger than me clearly but there's no need to fight only a need to kill. I rushed over and grabbed the man off her. He threw me off in a drunken rage, I hit my back on the brick wall behind me. I slid to the ground and the man focused his attention on me, how confidence he must’ve been towering over a helpless woman. But no one ever expects a knife in their abdomen. His look of shock as he fell to the ground was orgasmic, as I looked over to the women. She covered her mouth and ran off. The bitch could’ve at least said thank you. Act like she never seen a dead body before, I’m sure she lies flat like one with every guy she’s been with.

After that kill, my third kill it seemed to all stop mattering. If the police catches up to me so be it, who am I free for. No family to cry for me and no life worth living. But I continue for my family who couldn’t that night. Instead I walk the street, but for what. Maybe I was looking for an opportunity like the one that happened. A reason, any reason to unsheath my sword. Methaphorically speaking. At least I still need a reason. Suddenly my reasons for killing came fast and in a hurry. Someone followed me back to my apartment. A knock on the door as soon as I walk in, I opened it and it’s a woman. Older yet beautiful, high heels, opened toes, white coat, long brunette hair. I’m not a lesbian but I’d listen to the offer tonight. Sadly, she wasn’t here for that, she showed me a picture and asked for me to assassinate a man for her. I was flattered, but I explained I’m not in that line of work, but she stated she saw me kill the man from earlier. As I went to grab my knife, she said she wasn’t going to blackmail me. That man was a piece of shit and the man in the picture is another piece of shit. That shouldn’t be in our world anymore. She just left some information about him and went to walk out. I didn’t even get to see what’s under her coat, hopefully it was nothing. I did yell to her, why ask me. She saw my face after killing that man in the alley. She could tell it wasn’t my first kill and it won’t be my last. Our thoughts coincided I also didn’t think that would be the last time I kill. Her number was on the back side of the photo and I decided to hold on to it. I mulled it over for a long time and called her. I received his information where he likes to go, if he’s married, what has he done in his life. I may become an assassin but I’d rather not kill someone innocent. He turned out to be a bastard, a frequent adulterer, scam artist, and a couple skeletons hanging in his closet. Someone I won’t feel bad for if he’s gone. Once again I asked her why me. She told me that he knows a lot of the people staffed by her and would be difficult to get close. But me, I’m a fresh face, he’d never see me coming. I accepted her contract.

I bumped into him, outside of a bar called Donovan's a fancy place. And I was there outside looking helpless. I know I'm pretty and nothing is prettier to a man than a helpless, broken, little girl. He helped me up and couldn't take my sad face, he invited me in for drinks. Laugh at few jokes, touch his arm a few times. His engine just couldn't take it. He took me back to his where we began kissing on the bed. And as he kissed my neck, he felt my knife kiss his. As I sat there hugging his neck, with my knife inches deep on his nape. I noticed a mirror on the ceiling and caught a glance at the expression on my face. Nothing, a look of nothing. I layed there with him in my arms for a while staring at myself. I knew this was the life that was meant for me. Perhaps the murder of my family was God's way of pushing me this way. What does it matter now. I pushed him off and gather’d myself before calling Valkyrie. That’s what she told me her name was. More of a medusa if you ask me. She told me that people will come soon to clean up the house and my job is done. The payment arrived as quickly as she hung up. That was the beginning of our relationship. From then on was a blur, I went on a killing spree. Contract after contract sometimes multiple a day, I was bored with nothing to do. And this beats walking the streets hoping to find a victim. Some guys bigger, some smaller, a couple women, but at the end of the day no matter how well trained you are, you can’t protect what’s truly vulnerable. I had Valkyrie set me up with some fighting lessons. Might as well look cool while slashing, next thing I knew I became a machine. Never failing a hit and becoming Valkyries number 1 go to. Not to mention a couple $100,000 dollars richer.

But we became more than that, me and Valkyrie became more like sisters. I visited every night at the bar she operates out of. Often telling stories of my jobs. I told her of my past. Of that fateful night that turned me to this life. Of my Parents and siblings being killed, of me hiding like a coward. Only fighting back when my life was in danger. How I killed him and the reason I only use a knife. After that night, she really took me under her wing. I think she saw something in me that reminded her of herself. She became protective of me only contracting me with people she trusts. Thoroughly doing recon on my jobs to give me the most information on the target possible. It felt like I had a family again with her. I truly loved Valkyrie. Loved, because she left me as well.

A regular bar night. Me and Valkyrie were sitting in her back office drinking her favorite wine, it was a cheap $20 - $30 wine. I brought it with me every time I visited. For someone who runs such a fancy place, her taste were like those of a soccer mom. I often made fun of her for it. Valkyrie told me she has no siblings, no children. When she met me, she never thought it would be the night she gained a little sister. Always so sentimental in her drunken state. A knock came to the door, that Gus was coming soon and wanted to meet with Valkyrie. I never trusted Gus, his name and look suggest he’s a sleaze ball, but Valkyrie always put up with him. She wanted a moment to gather herself, It was getting late anyway, I told her I’ll say goodbye to everyone at the bar and then head home. I’d rather not be there when Gus arrives anyway. As I walked out. “Delilah.” “It’s Lilith. So drunk you forgot my name again.” “No dumb ass. Delilah, that’s my name. A name I long forgotten. Call me that from now on. Code names between sisters just seem silly.” “Delilah? A delicate name for a Valkyrie, what would Odin think, I chuckled.” “Get out dumbass. I’ll see you tomorrow.” “Of course send a contract my way if anything comes up.” I walked down to the bar and saw a couple regulars that I’m fond of. We sat at the bar for a while chatting and that’s when I saw Gus walk in. Seeing his face ruined my mood, I said goodbye to them and went to leave. As I began my walk to my apartment, I stopped for a moment. I looked up at the building and thought about what they could be talking about. Then suddenly the room Valkyrie was in exploded. I stood in shock for a moment then someone grabbed me. “Lilith, Lilith!, you gotta get out of here”. I snapped out of it and ran in to the building. I just remember screaming, “Valkyre, Valkyre, Valkyrie.” When I got to the room, I just saw Valkyrie on the floor dead and Gus standing above her. I grabbed my knives from my side and lunged out him in a fit of rage, that’s when one of his guards knocked me out the way. I fell next to Valkyrie. “Delilah, how could this happen. How could I lose another sister as soon as I gain her.” Gus ran out of the room. And I sat there with Delilah’s head in my lap. Surround by fire.

People like us don’t get funeral’s, not really. A couple people we were close too comes around and we burn their body in a secluded area in the forest. “Valkyrie sat there, wrapped in cloth sitting on top of our made up altar.” I threw the torch onto her and began the process. As she burned I made a promise not to Valkyrie, but to my sister Delilah, that I will find whoever did this to her. And I will cut them for everyday we can no longer spend together. I hear Lillith is the name of a demon as well, that’s perfect, from now on I’ll be the demon that seeks a Valkyrie’s revenge.

I’m a jokester, a fraud. I’m not sure I have ever shared my true feelings. I allow them to peek out with a sarcastic tone.

Do I truly love her, do I truly need her, what do I think of her. I don’t even know if I love her or if I love the fantasy in my head. Have I ever looked at her clearly.

My reality is different, I’m charming in my head, I trip over my words when I speak. I can make her smile and laugh, but I can I make her smile at me

I met her at a bar, as I sat their for a drink. A shot of peanut butter whiskey over ice give me relief.

She smelled it from my left shoulder and asked what it was, called screw ball I think. I think but I know did saying it make me seem cool

She wanted to try it, so I got her a shot, it’s a little sweet, but it’s good, let it chill over rocks

We chatted for a while, but I can’t spend all my time at a bar. We go to leave, I enjoy her company and would like it again

Her number, instagram, maybe a friend request I ask for none and let her walk in the wind

I’m a man, but I’m frail, and failure again just seems to be the end, I wonder if I will see her again

Next weekend, same bar, same seat, same shot, same girl comes, sits down and asks for it on the rocks

I’m nervous, I’m cool, I’m not, I’m a fool. She gets it on the rocks and I raise my glass for a toast.

A clink of the glass, sip of the whiskey, I start up the conversation, jokingly, “Did you miss me”

A joke, but a answer I want, even if it’s a jokingly of course there’s some truth in that trope

No answer to the question just a slight chuckle, she said it was fun talking to me last time and glad she introduced to her new drink. Screwball on the rocks.

I pointed at the seat and she sat and we chat, it felt like a fantasy that once again I have chance at failure.

But a chance at failure is a chance at success, but she came here to meet her friends, but their not here yet, say less

Please say less, end the sentence right there, hopefully they don’t come, but she told me their near

Hear bell singing from the bar door, yep there they are. She didn’t have to tell me I know my luck. I looked over to her.

One more on the rocks, she smiled grabbed my shoulder, now I’m feeling cocky. And said sure

She took it, said thank you and went to walk over to her friends. I called to her she stopped, my brain stopped working.

Still to scared for a number, so maybe a friend request. She said she doesn’t have social media, a lie to make me not feel so much regret.

Here take my number, she said, and call me and we can some peanutbutter whiskey on the rocks of course.

Where do the women get it to be so confident. Not like I never gotten a woman number before, but definitely more no’s than yes.

More fake than real and then I stopped asking and it became less no’s more regrets.

But she’s fun, she’s the best, now I’m smiling like a idiot, and the bar tender is dancing to some kanye west.

I’m glad people are paying more attention to her than me, because right now I’m the epitome of embarrassing.

She looks at me and gives me a nod, I raise my glass and give her a smirk, next time it won’t be her meeting her friends

It will be her meeting for a little conversation and some peanut butter whiskey. On the rocks.

I could tell you the entire truth

And you would hate me for it

Or I can lie to you

(Continue to lie)

Then you would love me

I can ask you which would you choose

I'd choose that you love me

Will you accept my lie

Then lie to yourself it's the truth

Is our love strong enough to accept the lie

Maybe not, Afterall

I didn't think our love was strong enough

To accept the truth

Did you choose a side

Then be careful to adjust your vision

Once a side is chosen

Half of the view becomes cloudy

And the other half

Becomes much too clear

So clear you start to see

Things that aren't there

Excuses for one comes in a flurry

And we are slow to question

Excuses for the other are condemned

And we are quick with our disapproval

Then in your arrogance

Your side must be correct

You couldn't have chose wrong

Maybe you didn't choose wrong

But in your quest to justify your choice

That side that was so clear

Is now just as cloudy as the other

So at the end of it all

What did you really see?

I never feared my people so much

Then when they called for the death

of another

It made me realize that they

could call for my death in the

same manner

Such a thought terrified me

To my core

If i could make them lose

their minds from a few baseless

accusations, a couple scattered lies

One could do the same to me

It made me even more of a Tyrant

So I turned my iron hand

into one of tungsten

So that my people may never

Rise up

No one will do to me

What I've to them

That is how i live my life

In fear

Why are you still laying there

It looks as if you'd awake at any moment

But when I touch your hands

They're cold as stone

Don't worry I'll hold yours in mine

And warm them

As you would do mine

When I'd run in to escape a winter's day

Are my hands warm

I put them by the fire

Yet yours continue to be blue

To think I'll never see your eyes again

I waited by your side

But they remained closed

I guess that was the final page in your book

And from now on it will remain close as well

But i took a few notes

So forgive me if I circle through them

At times