A Dialogue in Space
The table shakes as the first person pushes their hands against the table with an odd maniacal laugh. The second person scoffs at the reckless but comedic deed.
Person 1: "There's no way of knowing the entire world all at the same time! Some answers to life aren't meant to be known. The mystery is what carries human existence."
The first person finally sits back down and sips their coffee with a certain look, a smug smirk on their face, and an air of victory over the second person.
In reply, the second person looks at the first person in the eyes.
Person 2: "Yet we can only move forward by knowing more things, by the very attempt at it. It's human nature you know? Discovery? Tell me, friend. Have you ever been willing to exchange your soul for more knowledge? Faust-style? Don't all humans give themselves to a higher deity? Anything higher than existing itself is considered a deity. And some, if not all, give themselves to the global consciousness rather than their miniscule lives to feel whole."
Person 1: "But isn't the global consciousness rather too overwhelming for the ordinary mind? You'd go absolutely mad! But then again, isolation also drives you mad. Where do you think we should stand? The day-to-day mind, though, only cares about the life that they are living and the day-to-day occurrences. Yet, there's nothing inherently wrong with that. You don't need to be amazing to live."
Person 2: "It's still essential though, isn't it? Both a global consciousness and isolation. We breathe the same way this earth breathes. And to go on, to feel like we're doing something, we should be capable of creating a life where people feel like they have a purpose. Some realize it through solitude and isolation, and some by interacting with the external reality and accessing the global consciousness(or collective unconscious)."
Person 1: "Purpose isn't something for us to really decide though. The only reason why this world goes around is because everyone believes and lives with different things."
Person 2: "Which is exactly why we're having this conversation right now, isn't it?"
The second person laughs.
Person 1: "It's still obvious to me that there's no way of knowing the entire world all at the same time. We live with what little beautiful life we have and the limits that were set upon us. The world changes every day. There's isn't necessarily an end to knowing things. The more you know, the more you go mad."
Person 2: "It's probably why I'm mad in the first place, huh? And you, with your life in the mountains with your birds and all, seem to be satisfied with existing."
Person 1: "That is correct."
The first person sweetly smiles to the second person.
Person 2: "But limits, huh? Why don't we talk about that instead. I'll give you the win for that previous debate we had just now. I do agree that life is only comprehensible by what our minds can technically work with."
Person 1: "Hahah! See?! You do agree with me. I was able to conjure all that up on my own. It makes logical sense right?"
Person 2: "Surely. Now limits, have you ever read the Picture of Dorian Gray? It's a novel by Oscar Wilde. A quite interesting one at that."
Person 1: "No, I haven't. I have heard of it though."
Person 2: "Well, right. Anyways, there's this lovely quote that Alan Watts paraphrases and expounds from the book. The initial quote said that 'To define is to limit.' Alan Watts, on the other hand, says something very intriguing to add to it."
Person 1: "What does he say?""
Person 2: "He says, 'To define is to limit, to set boundaries, to compare and to contrast, and for this reason, the universe, the all, seems to defy definition....Just as no one in his senses would look for the morning news in a dictionary, no one should use speaking and thinking to find out what cannot be spoken or thought.'"
A silence creeps between them.
Person 1: "Hmm, that is quite intriguing. I'm pretty speechless actually."
The second person laughs.
Person 2: "Read that quote again and think about it more deeply."
Person 1: "What you're saying is that we basically do need certain limitations in life? As if having something at a limit makes it a lot more reachable and achievable. About the matter of the universe though, I would have to agree with Mr. Watts, everything seems to defy definition yet we somehow end up limiting it with definition anyways. But because it's necessary right?"
Person 2: "I would suppose so. In your case and in mine, so as not to go mad."
Person 1: "What is madness anyway? Do you think it's a good thing?"
Person 2: "There has always been that famous quote that goes around ever since a long time ago about how madness is quite a rational conclusion after living in a world that's already gone mad."
Person 1: "And do you think the world is mad?"
Person 2: "I think we live reality according to our own self-created delusions."
Person 1: "Hm."
Person 2: "Yes, and mass beliefs on the other hand are just mass psychoses and mass delusions. Either way, we really don't have any objective sense of reality. That's what I believe. I think every human sees life through a glass mirror, but you can't blame them. When you look at reality the way... say... 'God' sees it... you brains would flip and your mind would turn inside out. That's what I've concluded."
Person 1: "That's a strangely odd and yet logical conclusion to make."
Person 2: "It surely is. With regard to the delusions that we all live in, this has somehow forced society to progress and move forward in time from history itself."
Person 1: "I would say that every age and decade just means living one delusion after another."
Person 2: "We're all mad and living in wonderland."
Person 1: "A wonderland existing lonesomely in space-time it seems."
Person 2: "Now that's a topic we can discuss with another cup of coffee. But not today, I still have to wear my human suit and mask and attend to my duties of coexisting with other human beings..."
"...despite the fact that I'm an alien of course."
Person 1: "Yep, It's strange why the 'galactic federation' sent us on earth to experience the simulation."
Person 2: "Don't talk about that in public."
Person 1: "Oh! Right."
Both of them look at each other, and each burst out laughing.
Person 2: "Well! See you fellow alien colleague!"
Person 1: "May the force be with you."
Person 2: "And with you as well!"
- End -
There's an inevitable attraction to being alone sometimes. But being alone is different from being lonely. Loneliness is the void that you feel when nothing makes sense in the world but your own experiences do. And those experiences sometimes seem to make more sense than your own existence.
You watch as life slowly moves forward; the grandiosity of it all astounding you. But sometimes the mere lack of "life" itself leaves you preoccupied with a dance towards darkness. At that point, you are blind to your own path.
Loneliness is getting out of bed ready to start the day, but realizing that no one's going to be there, caring about what you do. Yes, this is that feeling. The feeling that you alone are the audience of your life.
You go about life, being a wandering soul out of the several other humans in the world who watch as the days fall back.
Are you any different from them? From those who prowl about the earth seeking for a purpose? Seeking for meaning?
Sometimes, I often wonder why nothing makes sense in the world. But even though this is true, I wonder why I was brought out here in the first place. If nothing makes sense, then doesn't my own existence seem quite ridiculous?
Yet here I am; experiencing the all of nature and the universe while experiencing nothingness at the same time.
Here I am, being one with everything, and feeling like nothing at the same time.
There are rare moments that exist out there in the world where one is happy being alone.
That's the significant difference.
When you're lonely, you need people around you.
Sometimes, it's often like being an empty hole. You don't really have an identity, you let others fill you with their emotions, their happiness, and like an addiction, once you lose them, you feel like you've lost a part of yourself forever.
People begin to live through you, and you experience their humanness.
This is the strange thing about being lonely, it's the fact that you actually love other human beings.
If you didn't, then being in solitude would give your complete and utter joy.
But that's not the case.
What I do hope for sure...
...is that in these feelings of mine.
I'll learn not to depend so much on other people for my validation.
I'll learn to smile in the face of the emptiness of it all.
And like a dove signaling the signs of life, I'll hum the symphonies that reflect the mold and depth of my true being.
I... alone... are just as vast enough... to fill the gaping hole that drowns me.
A Love for Life
Life is simply a surreal art. A double-edged sword. A two-sided coin. An enigmatic soul.
But who am I to speak about dualities and images?
Life isn't about those limiting things.
When you look at a surreal painting, it's not a direct output of a single idea. It's a multilayered, philosophical and existential work of art. And that's exactly what humans are at the core, we're multilayered philosophers and existentialists.
In between these lines of words, I'd like to stand for defense.
I'd like to defend the rebellious act of loving life. The act of loving being alive, and how this might be the one thing that could save our world.
From the moment that we are born, the most beautiful thing that we learn to do is the love the act of being alive.
Children wander about and their eyes glimmer at the sight of our wondrous world. If all truth lies in the nostalgic evidence of our childhood, then isn't truth actually so simple and beautiful?
If there's one thing I've learned from the Little Prince story. It's that growing older has distorted the way humans can look at life.
It is essential to go back to that nostalgic ephemeral state of child-like wonder and love for living.
The most difficult things we tackle in life are actually the simplest. And children understand this.
It's not necessary to know everything there is in the universe. The process and act of consistently being, existing, and loving; these three things keep a human soul at bay.
Three adversaries: suffering, non-existence, and indifference. These three things keep a human soul at the floor and deathbed of the galaxy's sea.
That day, I felt the way you danced to life.
That day, I knew you would be mine.
But you are not an object, not even a person.
You are an abstract thought, that my soul cannot hold.
You are the wind swayed by love's symphonies.
You are the sky I have yet to reach.
You are the heartbeat that passes like a fleet.
Still, I've fallen for your swirls.
The way your hands interlock with mine.
My dream, my ghost, you... my unsung lullaby.
There's no deader sound than that of our parting.
There's no sweeter ignorance than that when you used me.
We both realized that love was a blinding myth.
We both knew that nothing would come out of it.
Still, we loved like there was nothing else in this world.
We loved like existence never counted our 10,000 words.
I love you, I hate you, I'm horribly infatuated by you.
Our lives began depending upon the other.
The breath of life could only be fulfilled by you, my lover.
You soon became my oxygen tank meant to suffer
We were both getting used to emptying out the other
I love you, I love you, I no longer need you
When we spoke those words, the world began to darken
I could hear pain in every corner that I could bitter fully hearken
We knew that not too long our souls would begin to harden
There was nothing in this world that would give us mercy and pardon
I hurt you, I hurt you, I'm sorry that I loved you
I write this letter in hopes that our death can remind you
The word "we" and "you and me" is too far from what's true
That our sins against each other will never be obsolete
But at least we knew in the end, we nearly made each other complete
Love is like this, I could only bear you with me
But I learned a little in life, that to be fulfilled
I needed to learn how to breathe.