I'm tripping and thinking. My bae is somewhere talking politics And defending the downtrodden.
She's something different than what I know or what I find comfortable.
I drank a bottle of wine that cost two grand. Got just as buzzed as a 5 dollar six of pack.
I've walked roads I can't remember. Seen things that made me trip. She's something different than the screaming, the fights. She drinks bud light, in restaurants I shouldn't be in, when the waiter snubs his nose.
He looked from me to her. Back again. Until he concluded I was bought and paid for.
I saw the meteors from my back on her riverbank at midnight.
Parts of me break away every day.
She and her world slip inches from my hand by the second.
I need her to say no. For once just pick me
There's a point where you realize you can't exist in a world that isn't really yours.
The weight of it all settles on brittle bones. No longer strong enough to hold the mounting confusion.
You say you love me to the East winds. Just so that it can be carried away by the freshness of breeze.
Ultimatums bring silence.
Like bones scraping the black top.
In pain, physical, I wait for your gaze to find me.
I'm not political per se. I know what I know. What I believe and even before there was a Bae I was leaning towards the conservative side. I'm liberal, I guess.
My bae's in a political family I guess. She's red wearing Republican. Tonight I watched her kill a 20 year friendship. Not in defense of Trump but in defense of her brother and her beliefs.
I watched her lose her temper When sexual orientation was brought into the argument. She defended me. She defended everything she loved.
I needed to see you like that.
She's drunk because she's nervous
New people scare her.
You can't tell unless you know
The way her nose crinkles like a rabbit
she hides from the world
ashamed of the way she was made
Her "rabbit nose" is my favorite thing
it Is how I know.
She's ashamed of everything about her bur me. Misguided much?
The ironic notion of anyone bragging
I watched her tell her writing friend I was beautiful. I can belive that through her fucked up drunken eyes.
She'll fall asleep not knowing. I'll wake up with her arms.
Loyalty is dead. Even in the best of the best. We're all outlaws in a time when outlaws die alone.
Bae said write
It's been forever since I've smelled fresh air. Really breathed it in.
I've gone from here to there. Place to place. One mind numbing cell block to the next. I remind Bae all the time. This isn't like Chicago.
I don't think she listens. She gets an stressed look in her eyes. Does that nervous thing where she tucks her hair behind her left ear. She smiles. Even if she doesn't mean it.
She's five feet from me. Struggling with the cork on our fourth bottle of wine. I'm smell like Marlboro Reds and her Chanel No. 5.
Maybe this is freedom. A cigarette and an ice cold beer and my bae with her pompador smelling like whiskey and laughing while she fills my Styrofoam cup with wine I can't pronounce