First it starts as who hurts the other the most
Than we kiss
Oh when we kiss!!
And then nothing
Just arguments and endings that dont end.
I want to hold your hand when we walk together
I want to hug you so tightly
I want to kiss you in every step we make together
And maybe you want this too
But not with me.
Then I want to hate you
So badly
And run to a place
Where I can listen to the song of Molly Burch
“Please be mine”
Without thinking of you
But instead a stranger.
As far as today
I remember when I was a child I disliked reading books , mostly all of them . They all had a specific ending it could be happy or sad and sometimes something in between. Somehow I knew that I could never read the words writen in my heart by someone elses pen so unknowingly I started writing. I started writing as what a normal child would have to, when he starts to dream and imagine about all the things that one wants and desires and everything one knows he could be. I started writing in the blank page of life . I wrote my desires my ideals my character my adventures and everything else I thought I needed my life to be about. Pages full of happines, memories , mistakes and terrible regrets. All my darkest desires ,darkest secrets my best and worst qualities. Since I was a child the only thing I didn't give importance was time , time was passing fast right before my eyes into the words I was writing on that blank page . I never stood still to realise that until now . My life was turning into my worst nightmare filled only with paranoia and fears. I never realised that getting so hooked into what you want life to be and what it actually is would turn my reality upside down and realised I was living in a lie that I was writing . As I was stading alone in the dark yesterday I woke up . The page I started to write since I was a child run out of all empty spaces , I dont know how old I was back than but now I'm 21 and the worst thing is that I realised that I'm one of those humans helplessly stupid and I've wasted so much time rewriting and correcting on that blank page everything that I thought was wrong and now my blank page looked like the messy adventurous confusion I wanted my life to be. Today I woke up and I had a new page to write on and I've only writed four sentences the only four sentences I decided to keep as a treasure from my life
as far as today.
To desire is to dream
To dream is to want
to want is to do
And to do is to live.
(Write artfully)
Lay and wonder
alone as you always do
Thinking for the future so bright and blue
In the greens of the forest laying your head
wishing for a moment of delirium instead
forever only you and me
as if nothingness was all we could see
can't seem to be brave to open my heart
and letting my happy ending forever to part...
Me,myself and I
Flickering voices inside my head
Sun rising thoughts while still on bed.
Cracked mirror imagines oneself
Late at night writing self-hate
Shadows I follow under sad street lights
Trying to catch the perfect self-likes
Looking like me but not quite the same
The image keeps on running away.
What am I made of ?
the question that hunts
Can’t find a meaning of my emotional breakouts.
That’s all what to expect from me I say
But fuck you anyway .
#voices
#self hate
#feelings
#love