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TJMulvaney
Want to see my artwork? Check out my Ko-Fi page for all of my artwork: ko-fi.com/tjthemoviefreak
3 Posts • 12 Followers • 57 Following
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Oof in Comedy

Karen

We locked eyes in a Subway

although I wish we hadn’t

She was gorgeous

She ordered the Meatball Marinara special,

proving her disdain and lack of experience in deli meat consumption

Meatball Marinara!

In a fine establishment like this!

The outrage

It would have been unforgivable if she had not been so astoundingly attractive

Her clothes, a top the color of blood, a warning of the chaos she causes

her shoes, stilettos completely unpractical for the winter in anywhere but LA

Her nose, the perfect slope of y= x squared

Her eyes, the same eclectic blue of laundry detergent, although she clearly wouldn’t know

The same glint of frustration and determination of a weed whacker in an impossibly large front yard

She snaps her fingers at an employee

soft hands, un calloused neither by manual labor nor the works of life

She rolls her eyes, snarling

Like when you step in a puddle wearing socks

The employee does not catch on, or does not care, about her annoyance

He simply cuts her chosen bread and carries on

He puts peppers on her sandwich

Oh the mistake he hath made

He shalt unleash the fury that resides within

She screams, a bellow of pain, of personal attack

Why, she acts as if he has personally slew her firstborn child

She demands to be brought the manager as tribute immediately

When he reveals that he hath been the manager all along it enrages her

Her hair, the color of american cheese slices, appears in an updo resting over her head

Hastily tied up, to prepare for her battle with authority

How dare her waive her autonomy, assuming she would like peppers? She demands

She will not receive any answer

She angrily pops her bubblegum, snapping it in the face of the manager

He rolls his eyes and sighs

It is the pristine image of an old cowboy duel

The Connecticut Subway may as well be Texas in 1870s

It iss practically playing the old Western music

It is human nature to be glued to viewing this event

Unable to look or look away

Like watching a car accident on the side of the highway,

knowing someone is going to perish

The manager should not have been so foolish as to engage

When going against a Karen, the battle has already been lost

Challenge
25 Words of the Holidays
In the spirit of the Holidays and for every day in Dec leading up to Christmas, you have 25 words to get your spirit on in any way you'd like. Make each one Count. Must be 25, No More, No Less. All genres are welcome in any style. Tag me in the Comments and I will read and comment on each piece. No guarantees of likes and/or RP and I'll be picking the winner. NO AI WRITING ALLOWED. Happy Writing Snowflakes!
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MelanieLeah

Blue

Christmas miracles gather around us waiting to be plucked from the sky. They dance in the December wind with icy snowflakes and tiny blinking lights.

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7v7 in Poetry & Free Verse

Cheap

I am Money.

I am Time and Currency.

Invest in me, I say to myself

cutting my imaginary bread

with butter

It's my jam, after all

this______,

the thick spread

waiting

for the next bite.

Join me across the table.

We'll hold hands a minute

Exchange blood, Jesus

Christ and break, even

between the work sheets

counting out the tithes

beneath the ticking...

----------you know

the prayerful wishes

that we keep.

The ten. Or twelve.

For one day.

When we're free.

Challenge
It only comes out when it rains
Prose or poetry
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7v7

Deluge

It only comes out when it rains.

I take a barrel. Collect. Each drop is my salvation. In final preparation.

My life's calling.

I'll do the cooking. My dirty laundry. All the neighbors will watch me.

"Due diligence?"

Due diligence.

Little birds will sit, barbs on the wire.

My sister will wash her hair.

Granny will water the plants.

They'll lock the stable. Turn down the veils.

"One, two, three. Stop."

One, two, three. Stop.

I fully expect rain, at my funeral march.

11.28.2023

It only comes out when it rains challenge @dctezcan

Challenge
It only comes out when it rains
Prose or poetry
Profile avatar image for SchadenFreude
SchadenFreude

Boots - A Child’s Tool of Torture

When the rain stops, I put on my boots.

It was worm-stomping time.

I put on my coat, all ready to go,

to go commit my crime.

Glorified spaghetti noodles rise up -

My rubber boots stomped DOWN!

As I committed my massacre,

I mused if worms could drown.

I tested this in a puddle,

squishing their soft pink heads.

They didn't really react,

so I stomped more instead.

Worms are worms.

Make them squirm.

That's all I have to say.

Challenge
The Desert Moon
John Denver aptly described a Rocky Mountain high. Can you do as well with a desert low?
Profile avatar image for 7v7
7v7

The Desert Moon

It's beneath the sand

where all is buried

in desert low

like a pearl

the pool

Beneath the sand

down where it's

neither

hot nor cooled

Beneath the sand

of Time

where all lies

in waiting

Beneath the sand

drawn for its own

full occasion

by the tide

Beneath the sand

the pull of water

dips anew...

Beneath the sand

the desert Moon.

11.26.2023

The Desert Moon challenge @Huckleberry_Hoo

Challenge
Lists
This is a joint experiment from Beccawaits and I. Please give us your top 3 answers for each. The winner is anyone who can make us blow milk through our noses. 1- 3 reasons your cat may be a CIA agent. 2- 3 reasons the aliens left without bothering. 3- Why the FDA actually approves of alcohol/ nicotine? 4- 3 excuses to call out of work so you can go fishing. 5- Wait… what is that hiding in the corner? (Am hoping this formats correctly as I hit “post”)
Cover image for post Lists, by CynthiaCalder
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CynthiaCalder in Comedy

Lists

3 reasons your cat may be a CIA agent:

Top Investigator Award: (1) Always knowing what I’m eating despite my attempts to hide it from him (100% powers of perception with boiled peanuts or chips and dip); (2) Always knowing I’m about to walk in the door and taking a dump right beforehand to ensure the room is adequately “fragranced” and warmly welcoming; (3) Always knowing my alarm will go off in 5 minutes and alerting me of the same by either bouncing across the bed at 100 miles per hour or purring loudly a scant 1 mm from my face.

3 reasons the aliens left without bothering:

Aliens Deserted Us Because Of: (1) Our low minimum wage; (2) Our uninspired alien films; (3) Our slow means of travel.

3 reasons why the FDA actually approves of alcohol/ nicotine:

Alcohol & Nicotine Abuse Encouraged Because: (1) They would like us all to die before a certain age so that our benefits go unclaimed/unpaid; (2) We’re much more tolerable and likeable when indulging (judging purely from personal experience); (3) The alcohol and nicotine business is booming – a bourbon/tequila/vodka for every actor and fancy or hip cigarettes to suit every taste and style.

3 excuses to call out of work so you can go fishing:

Reasons to play hooky and go fishing: (1) You fell asleep and forgot to paint your toenails; (2) You have accrued a total of 8.25 hours in sick leave (and it’s literally burning a hole in your pocket, much like money); (3) Your friend reports the fish aren’t biting (a bad day fishing is always better than a good day at work).

Wait… what is that hiding in the corner?

Three things hiding in the corner: (1) Good Lord, it’s my bra – from 1976; (2) Time to sweep - it’s a collection of toenail clippings; (3) Oh my God - it’s my ex.

Challenge
Trident Media Group is the leading U.S. literary agency and we are looking to discover and represent the next bestsellers. Share a sample of your work. If it shows promise, we will be in touch with you.
Please include the following information at the end of your post: title, genre, age range, word count, author name, why your project is a good fit, the hook, synopsis, target audience, your bio, platform, education, experience, personality / writing style, likes/hobbies, hometown, age (optional)
Profile avatar image for Elie
Elie

Murdering three

I was nine years old when I murdered my friend, Nessie.

She had died fast, her body thrashing on the ground. I stared, awestruck. The only sadness I’d felt was when it was over. Destructive me.

I was ten years old when I killed Finley. He died the same way as Nessie, his body thrashing on the ground, squirming. It was a really interesting sight. And I've kept it a secret, because I'm pretty sure no one would have liked to hear that I had killed two of my good friends.

Finley and Nessie are buried together. I didn’t have that much space for them, because they were... well, they were really big. I used a shovel to sink them into the ground, and then I prayed for them.

I did the same thing when I was eleven to my other friend, Feefee. She died the same way, and I began getting bored of killing. I went out to bury Feefee that day, but then, my dad my stepped outside.

“Athena, will you take out the gar-” he’d started to say, then stopped when he saw me. His eyes grew big.

I was dragging Feefee out onto the lawn. My dad’s eyes grew even larger, if that was even possible, and his eyebrows bended over so much that they crossed. He looked ready to choke, and I couldn’t blame him. Dragging something takes a lot of effort.

“What is that your carrying?” He asked, his eyes now bulging out of his head. He closed his eyes. “Oh God, tell me I’m dreaming, tell me this isn’t real.”

He told me I had a lot to explain. And I did, later. I told him about Nessie, Finley, and Feefee.

Nessie, Finley, and Feefee.

In my life, I’ve murdered three.

Fish.

___________________________________________________________________

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